When others are succeeding but you’re not

Drink if you’ve ever said the following:

“I’m ___ years old. I should have stopped working at ______ by now.”

“I’m ___ years old. That’s too old to do _______, which is what I really want to do.”

“I’m ___ years old. I should be [a full time actor or something else] by now.”

“[Name of a professional athlete] is only ____ years old?! He’s younger than I am!”

And then there’s my favorite:

“Why am I the only one of my friends who is single?”

There’s a couple of themes here. One is that we’re all supposed to have done something specific by a certain time in our lives. The other is that we should be a certain way because that’s what others are doing.

Bowling

Speaking of “achieving” at a young age, that’s me (far right) with a bowling trophy. 

I came across this quote earlier this week: “Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.” – Jon Acuff.

As much as I dislike clichés, this one I agree with: We’re all on our own timeline. Yes, it’s easy to get frustrated or jealous when someone younger than you has what you’re longing for. I’ve worked with actors who are much younger than me, and already have their resume filled up: Singing on Broadway, guest starring on a network television show, working with theatre companies that I would kill to work with…the list goes on. Focusing on what you don’t have isn’t going to get you anywhere. In fact, it will probably leave you feeling more unhappy.

To tie this together with the being single theme, here’s some text that I stole from Courtney Rioux’s latest blog post, “How to find your soul mate”:

“If you focus on what you don’t have, you’ll just get more of that.  Focus on lack of love, and you’ll keep going on crappy dates with people who aren’t right for you.  Focus on the love you already have in your life, and you’ll find more love in your life.”

Check out the rest of her blog. Especially if you’re single and crying as you read this. (Though please try not to cry. My blogs aren’t that depressing.)

One last thought: When it comes to age, you definitely shouldn’t be upset you haven’t achieved all your goals yet. However, there’s a difference between taking action and sitting/waiting. Say you’re looking to book a commercial. Have you been auditioning? Have you made progress with agents and casting directors? If you have, you don’t need to be upset. But if you’re upset that you haven’t booked and haven’t applied to agencies because you don’t want to quit your 9-5 job, that’s a bit different. If you’re auditioning a lot and not booking, be patient!

Oh, and then give me a call. We clearly both have the time to hangout.

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