What to Do When Your Friend is in a Bad Mood

Anyone have a friend who gets cranky very easily?

[Everyone raises their hand]

…someone that’s not me?

[Everyone puts their hand down.]

A lot of us like to take on the Ted Mosby attitude of cheering up our friends when they’re sad or upset. While our actions may vary, the result we want is the same: We want our friends to be happy. Think about when you’ve done this in the past. Then ask yourself this: Were you adding value to them? Or were you adding value to you?


photo credit: https://www.facebook.com/HowIMetYourMotherCBS


Often times when trying to cheer up our friends, we make the mistake of making the situation about ourselves. A common mistake is making it a “challenge” to change their mood. This makes the situation about us, and usually results in our friend being more upset than they were beforehand.


photo credit: https://www.facebook.com/HowIMetYourMotherCBS

“Challenge Accepted!” 


Next time this happens, try making the situation about them instead of you. If they don’t seem to want to talk about their day, ask them something else. Just make sure it’s about them. The majority of the time, your friend is going to find they’re in a better mood simply because someone is showing interest in them. The best part is, they probably won’t even realize it!

However, sometimes you’ll encounter a friend who is convinced “the day is ruined” and nothing can be done to change it. When this happens, you’re still allowed to ask them questions and add value. Just know that sometimes the best way to add value is to give your friend their space. Don’t take it personally. Remember, it not about you. Eventually they’ll come around on their own.

Think about different ways you can add value to others when they’re upset. It’s going to differ based on each friend’s personality, so be ready for this to change. Just keep making it about them and you’ll find you get pretty damn good at this.

Have a legendary week, friends.

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