Recognizing Those Who Are Trying to Help

Not too long ago, I posted about clipboard people. You know, those people who are SO happy to see you from a block away, despite the fact that you’re considering running into traffic if it means not speaking to them?

…sorry. That was too much. I was up late last night.

I used to have the mentality of “everyone is out to get me.” In other words, I could be on a free phone call with a highly respected acting coach. Then once I’m on the call, I learn the coach wants me to sign up for his class. (And if you sign up before the end of the call, you save $100 and get a free pencil!) I would be disgusted and eager to hang up.

Recently, I finished the book, “The Compound Effect” by Darren Hardy. I didn’t know who Hardy was prior to reading. Now I’m convinced he’s the most successful person in the history of ever. (Google him, if you don’t believe me). If you ever find yourself needing to run a marathon in Chicago with negative wind chills, give “The Compound Effect” a quick read. You’ll be fine.


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At the very end of his book, Hardy asks us to consider loaning the book to five friends who would benefit from his principles:

“I know this sounds like it benefits me. It does. Remember, I am after the success testimonials. My goal is to make a difference in millions of people’s lives, but to do that, I need your help. But I promise you this: ultimately, it will be you who benefits the most. Your helping someone else find the ideas to gain greater success is the first step toward you exercising them in your own life.”

This made me change my whole outlook on the “everyone is out to get me” approach. First, he put me at ease by stating his intentions. I never heard someone admit “yes, this helps me.” At the same time, he introduced the concept of “Yes, this helps me. But it also helps you.”

Let’s go back to the stupid clipboard people: Giving them money for their organization usually doesn’t help you. It only helps them. But the next time you’re on a call with that acting coach who wants to give you free pencils, don’t ask how they’re trying to hurt you. Very rarely is this the case. Instead, how might they help you reach your goals?

Lastly, I want to address the money issue. Once we find out we have to pay for something, we tend to freak out. (Or at least I do). I’ve found that focusing on what I’m gaining, as opposed to what I’m losing (money) is far more valuable. Perhaps you’ve heard of the phrase “investing, not spending.” If I’m going to a Cubs game, I’m usually spending money. But if I decide I want to give Darren Hardy my money, that’s an investment. How else am I going to run that marathon in January?

I want you all to think about this money concept carefully. Because starting next month, you’ll all have the opportunity to continue reading my blog for the low price of $19.95 a month. Really try to think of this as an investment

….okay no, I’m totally kidding. This is still free. I’m sorry. Did I mention I was up late last night?

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2 thoughts on “Recognizing Those Who Are Trying to Help

  1. Tony, I challenge you to think of giving the money to the “clipboard people” as helping yourself as well. Donating money to good causes makes you feel good and will come back to you some how. Giving is the same as receiving. When you give, go ahead and give for yourself. 🙂 I give money to the clipboard people…not a lot, but they’re really happy when I do and it makes me happy to make them happy.

    • This is a great insight, Courtney. I actually thought of you while thinking about my beliefs with clipboard people, using the “What happened that made me think negatively towards them?” I realized it all went back to my first experience with someone who was really pushy!

      Giving them money will be a challenge, but perhaps is something I need to try. Thank you!

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