Dear guy-who-sits-in-the-corner at parties: Get up!

Today I want to discuss the concept of living in lack. A lot of us do this without even realizing.


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Living in lack means we’re focusing on what we don’t have. We often start wishing for something awesome because we know it will make us happy. While there’s nothing wrong with that, we don’t want to depend on this thing to keep us happy. Otherwise, we have to stay unhappy while we’re waiting for this thing…whatever it may be.

…I’ll stop saying “thing” and use a real example:

I used to go to parties hoping to meet someone. If I was feeling shy (which would happen 99% of the time), I’d just sit in the corner. I was hoping someone would come over to me, which was far easier than initiating a conversation. Here’s something you should know if you relate to guy-who-sits-in-the-corner: You’re going to be unhappy. Not just because you’re sitting in the corner at a party. (Seriously, why the corner? That’s like the least appealing part of the room.) You’re going to be unhappy because you’ll be in a state of lack. You’ll be craving friendship, companionship, and conversation. The corner doesn’t get you any of this. By focusing on what you don’t have, you’ll just be sad and unhappy and go home wondering why you had such a bad night.

I almost fell into a similar trap last weekend during the “Summer on Southport” festival.

Summer on Southport


For most of last weekend, I wasn’t a fan of this crowd. This will happens when you work weekends. But after my shift Sunday, it was no longer a school night. So I poured myself some wine and sat by my window with my roommate Eric. People in the crowd began noticing us. Sometimes they’d wave. We’d wave back. This became a big hit with a few people in particular. As the night continued, I realized I was less focused on the free concert that I could watch from my very own apartment. I was more focused on being one of the “window guys.” Also as the night continued, the crowd was focusing less on us and more on the band. (So not cool.) I started noticing I wasn’t enjoying myself and couldn’t figure out why.

I had unintentionally entered a state of lack. I was lacking the attention from the crowd, and I probably looked quite silly sitting on my window sill. So I stopped trying to get attention from others and enjoyed the rest of concert. I was in a much better mood after this.

Start paying attention to areas where you might be living in lack. It’s okay to want something awesome. Just make sure you’re happy without it.  🙂


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