I had a bad day.
It started when I went to callback. Upon seeing a long line of people, a negative voice crept in. Relax, I’m not hearing voices. (Thought he is male, in case you were wondering. He’s also bigger than me and a bully.)
“Wow, there’s a lot of people here!” said the voice. “Guess it’s not really a big deal that you got called back, is it?”
And he wouldn’t shut up.
“I bet they want someone with more improv experience than you.”
“You don’t have much camera experience either. All these people probably do.”
He didn’t bother to stop once I got in the room.
“You just sounded really stupid and fake.”
“You just completely ignored the note she gave you!”
I continued to listen to the voice as I read an email regarding an extra gig I had for the following day.
“Looks like there’s other people you know working this! Oh, but they have actual lines and characters. You’re just an extra”
“You’ve been doing a lot of extra work lately. You probably won’t amount to much more than this.”
“Wonder who your friends are signed with. It’s clearly working out for them better than things are working out for you.”
Simply thinking about this negative voice right now is starting to bring me down again. Let’s stop here. Obviously this voice isn’t really there. It’s just me focusing on all of the negatives. When you start focusing on one negative, it can quickly spiral into focusing on many more.
Good news is this works the other way around: There’s a positive voice we can listen to instead. Unfortunately, we tend to push this voice off to the side. The negative one is much more powerful and easy to listen to.
The next day, I chose to listen to the positive one. (Sometimes I pretend this is a cute girl who loves me and my hair.)
“Hey Tony! Congrats on the callback yesterday! Yeah, there were a lot of people there. But the fact that you were getting your face in front of a casting director again is a good thing! Let’s stop pretending you know things like what they’re thinking, or how many people they’re going to book. You don’t know any of this information – nor do you need to 🙂
And how about that gig you booked for today? Of course it’s only extra work – that happens when you apply for gigs specifically for extras! You’re so silly. Stop comparing it to something else. And think about how few people are working today. It’s definitely not bad that you got picked.
You’re adorable. Let’s talk about your hair….”
Here’s the best part: Everything that positive voice said to me that morning was true. Minus the hair part. I had just woken up and it looked terrible.
If you have a negative voice of your own, don’t get down if he creeps in. He can be very persuasive. Just remember the voice is you trying to bring you down. Instead, listen to positive voice.
And if it helps, give her an accent.