Going Through A Dark Place

During times of heartbreak, loss, and struggle, it’s easy to think we have to feel depressed. Often we’ll resort to the mindset of “I don’t deserve to be happy.” This is merely the beginning of a slippery slope towards a dark place.

The good news is we don’t have to go there. We can choose to focus our energies elsewhere. It’s not easy, but it’s doable if you put your mind to it.

The following are some of my favorite mindset tricks towards staying positive:

Can’t Change It

A lot of the time, we focus on the “what if.” What if this hadn’t happened? What if they had done something differently? What if I had done something differently? This puts us in a state of lack. When you’re living in lack, you’re focusing solely on the negatives. It leads to many more and drives us towards that dark place.

Unfortunately, you can’t change the past. What you can do is focus on where to go from here.

Open Yourself To Positives

If your situation is really dark, it’s easy to think there are no positives. That’s understandable. There are so many clouds of negativity that it’s hard to see through them. But maybe you don’t have to. Instead, what if you look around them?

Start looking for the positives no matter how bad the situation might be. Simply being open to this concept will allow you to see wonderful things around you that you weren’t aware of before.  Finding just one will make your situation incredibly less painful.

A Brighter Future

Trying to envision what the future looks like is hard enough. It’s twice as hard when going through a struggle. Dark times can make us stronger. We learn from these experiences and grow in an incredibly powerful way. The next time we encounter something similar, we’ll be better prepared. More importantly, we’ll be able to help others who may be less experienced.

Why I’m Sharing This

Earlier this week, I learned my longest childhood friend, David Kendricken, passed away. He was twenty five years old. I was devastated when I learned the news. It nearly put me in a dark place myself. Instead, I decided to apply everything I learned from personal development.

Let me clarify: This doesn’t make our situation “okay.” It means we’re accepting the “can’t change it” mentality and allowing ourselves to get through in a positive way. Some of the positives I’m choosing to focus are seeing some friends who knew Dave very well. Perhaps I’ll make more friends this week whom I wouldn’t have met otherwise. We can preserve his memory by sharing stories. (I got plenty 🙂 )

For those of you who knew and loved Dave, please keep the following in mind:

Forgive yourself for how you’re feeling right now. Especially if you’re feeling any kind of depression or guilt. You’re human. And if you were friends with Dave, you’re probably a damn good one too.

Be open to finding those positives. We’re not trying to be perfect. In fact, f**k being perfect. I hate that word. Just try to find one. See what happens.

Dave, you were a hell of a guy. I always knew you were. But looking at all of the love on your facebook page tells me that plenty of others knew that too. While this situation isn’t ideal, I see so much love from your friends and family that I can’t help but feel it too. Thanks for spreading that to all of us.

Love ya, “son.”

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