Warning: Sometimes You Just Won’t Feel Happy

We don’t have to be actors. We get to be actors.

With that, even the best of occupations still come with their difficult moments.

I recently attended an audition for one of my favorite companies. Unfortunately, they were only seeing union actors (from the Actor’s Equity Association).  I’m non-union, which means you get seen if there’s time. It can be a long day of sitting around, re-checking the list, and crossing your fingers as you sit on the floor and hope to be seen for a minute or two.

Regardless, I wanted to take the chance. And since I’m there, I decide to focus things to be grateful for:

-Grateful that I get to be considered.

-Grateful that my side jobs such as being an online fitness coach allow me to have a flexible schedule.

-Grateful that I get to see my union friends – the same ones who also inspire me to be my best artistic self and to think bigger.

After we’re informed that the non-union list won’t be seen before lunch, I decide to leave the building for a bit. One of the stores that I do coffee demonstrations at is nearby, so I decide to pay them a visit…and get a free coffee.

But then I remember it’s more than just the coffee that draws me there: The staff are great. Managers are wonderful. Even if it’s a place where I report to work, I enjoy stopping by. In fact, I was so happy to be there that I ask if it would be okay to stay for a bit and steal some wifi. They said yes 🙂

And then….a funny thing happened.

I wasn’t sitting on the floor. The room temperature was comfortable. I was enjoying my coffee. And I felt like a normal person.

Without realizing it, all this negative self-talk had crept in while I was back waiting to be seen for auditions:

-I’m tired of sitting on the floor.

-I’m getting envious of all these other actors being seen ahead of me.

-I feel silly for eating cold meals out of my bag. While on the floor. (Side note: I’ve saved a TON of money by packing my meals that also allow me to stick to my health goals. Message me if you want tips.)

Negative self talk often creeps in without us realizing. Even though, sure, I brought my laptop and was getting work done…I didn’t feel human. I didn’t feel like me. It was affecting my work, and sure as hell was going to affect my audition.

This is not a vent.

This is a reminder to be aware of how you’re feeling. Whether you’re an actor or entrepreneur in another field, you’ll likely be “paying your dues” as you work your way up. Focusing on things like “this sucks” or “it should be better” is a waste of energy.

If you catch yourself going there –no sweat. Now you can focus on something else. Maybe try changing your focus to something completely different. No need to force yourself to feel happy about something you’re not. Just pick something else 🙂

Acknowledge your feelings. And make sure to do what you need – within reason – to make sure you’re feeling your most confident self as you go about your goals.

Go get ‘em, guys.

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