Did I ever tell you guys I used to be a critic? I was a damn good one…
Despite my commitment to personal growth and development, I was very good at critiquing those that I could best learn from. This happened a lot in acting classes. When the teacher was talking, I could always find something I didn’t like about their tone of voice. Sometimes I didn’t like that they always laughed at things I didn’t find funny. Other times I’d get upset when a student asked a particular question or sounded over confident.
This also happened anytime I was listening to a training call or attending an event related to my job helping others with their health. I would get bothered when the person hosting the call continued to say something similar each week. I found myself annoyed if the presenter didn’t take into consideration how long the day had been or how tired I was. (I could always find a reason even if I slept well…)
This especially happened anytime I watched a video that was supposed to help me with my personal growth. “Did that speaker really just fumble over that part?” “Oh sure, that’s easy for him to say now that he’s successful…” “Great, now he’s going to tell us all the reasons why we should buy something from him….”
It’s a shame I wasn’t getting paid to be a critic. I could have made a lot of money.
I’m embarrassed to admit that I was doing this silent critiquing up until very recently. Somehow and somewhere, in between all that reading and audio listening, a question popped into my head:
“Is this person actually trying to bother me? Or are they trying to help?”
(Someone tweet that….I always wanted a blog with a link for people to tweet my words of wisdom…)
More often than not, the people we get bothered by aren’t trying to hurt us. In all of the examples I just shared, most of these people were trying to help me. While I heard their words, I wasn’t actually absorbing the lesson as well as I could have because I was too busy critiquing and getting upset by mundane things.
Do you ever find yourself doing the same thing? If you do, consider the following:
–This person really wants to help. This especially applies if it’s a teacher, instructor, or anyone in a field where their job is based on the success of others.
–Let the anger go. When you start to recognize that anger? Acknowledge it, then let it go. Try silently thanking the person in your head. They’re doing you a favor right now whether you like their tone or not.
–Successful people care about helping others. The money they ask for is helping them create more materials and content to continue helping – not just so they can take a cruise. Also consider the very successful ones – the big guys like Tony Robbins, Darren Hardy, or Michael McCracken – don’t need more money. They could retire. They ask for money because they want to continue helping.
Okay….Michael just had a second baby….maybe consider throwing in an extra dollar in the coffee jar next time you use the Keurig at Vagabond School of the Arts
Do any of these thoughts resonate with you? I’d love to hear which ones in the comments below. (And I won’t even charge you 😉 )
Now, if this does happen with you a lot…don’t kick yourself. You’re not doing it because you’re a bad person. You’re doing it because you’re human. When we’re human, we have a tendency to mess up every now and then. Doesn’t make us bad people. And we can always change.
Let’s go get ‘em, friends.
PS – Like the photo of me and Michael? It was taken by Gretchen Kelley from Gretchen Kelley Photography. She also did my headshots. I kind of like them. Check out her website if you’re looking for new ones yourself 🙂