3 quick reasons why you’re awesome

It’s my last blog post of 2016…..this shit better be good, huh? 

Per usual, I have a million thoughts on my mind. I’ve had a couple dozen aha moments since my end of the year vacation began. I’ve written down countless messages, notes, and thoughts that I can’t wait to share with the world – inspiring minds with the thoughts of Tony Rossi. 

We’ll save those for another day. 

Instead, here are three thoughts with no further explanation, of things on my mind that I think need to be shared: 

  1. You are awesome, exactly as you are
  2. You can screw up and still be just as awesome
  3. If you’re worried that you’re not awesome, chances are you have high standards for yourself. Which means you’re not going to let yourself be less awesome. 

…did I say I wasn’t going to give a further explanation? Oh. I lied. 

I love you guys. I am grateful for your likes, shares, and comments. I am grateful that so many of you watch my Sunday Facebook live videos. I am grateful for the mentors who teach me these lessons. 

And I’m grateful that I’m awesome enough to get over myself and share them. (Oh yes. This shit applies to me too.) 

Bring it on 2017. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

1226162007a

Beautiful shot of a water show at Longwood Gardens earlier this week 

Advertisements

Two Steps Toward Being Happier (When You’re Really Stressed)

If you’re anything like me, you have high standards for yourself. You want big things in your life. You want lots of love and joy. You want to go to work to a job where work doesn’t feel like work. Then you can go to bed at night thinking, “How the hell did I get so lucky to have all of this?” 

Some people might think this sounds silly. I’m betting to you it’s not. I’m betting this is something you think about a lot. In fact, I’m betting you even might be taking action towards this type of life. 

Which is awesome. 

If that’s the case though, listen up: You likely have a case of “high standard syndrome.” 

Don’t worry. It’s actually a good thing. In simpler terms, it means you want to be happy – like, all of the time. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And considering that you likely have people in your life that you love and care about, this is actually a giving and caring act! Why? Because the more you care for yourself, the more you’re going to be able to care for others. (i.e. – If you want to make others happier, you’ll want to be a happy person yourself first. Work on you so you can work on them.) 

The problem shows up when we spend all our time stressing over the things we “should” do – work hard, stay up late, focus on anything and everything of importance going on in our life. While it’s good to be spending our time on our high priority tasks, sometimes we forget to check in and ask “How am I feeling right now?” If I forget this myself, I usually won’t think to ask it until it’s too late and I’m feeling FAR from the joy that the completion of these tasks are supposed to bring me. 

So before that happens to you – again – consider the following steps:

  1. Have the question, “How am I feeling right now?” (or something similar that works for you) somewhere you’re going to see it. For me, I love having sticky notes hanging in my wall in front of me with helpful reminders or mantras. For you, it might be a reminder popping up on your phone.
  2.  Give yourself permission to stop. Now, if you’re working on a deadline that’s due within an hour – this might not be as useful. But if it’s for your to-do list, ask if this is something that can wait. I’m not saying we should get in the habit of always stopping in the middle of a productive work session. Rather, there are times that work better for us than others. And this moment in time might not be best for this particular work, given your mood. 

Earlier yesterday I was planning the rest of my day and figuring out how I was going to catch a particular show. Before I knew it, I was pretty deep in the rabbit hole of, “HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET EVERYTHING DONE?” I then realized – I never bought my ticket. I didn’t NEED to go to the show. Yes, I wanted to go. But not if it was going to cause me a bunch of stress and pain! The minute I gave myself permission to miss the show – I felt ease and calm. It felt good. 

Oh right. There’s a third step…

     3. Realize being #notperfect is part of getting more of the joy you want in life. 

I talk a lot about being #notperfect. So much so that it’s started to catch on among friends on social media 🙂 (Yes, I’ve noticed. And it makes me smile every time). If there really is such thing as perfection…..I think it’s nothing but stress and anxiety. 

I’ll stay being #notperfect, thank you very much. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

Just go do it yourself. (Spoiler: There’s some choice language…)

Stop asking. Stop waiting. And go F-ing do it yourself. 

“Tony. That’s mean. And you’re scaring me.” 

I’m sorry. (And sorry for cursing.) I’m not saying that condescendingly. I’m saying it lovingly. As in, “I’m on your freaking side, my friend. Let’s go get ‘em.” 

I get asked a lot of questions. I love it. I love helping people and it absolutely boosts my ego knowing that I made someone’s life easier. Even if it’s a question about doing Facebook Live and how to save them after. Here’s the thing though – I learned about Facebook Live through google. I had never done one and wanted to know how. I also don’t like waiting. And the amount of time and energy you save when you take control and do things on your own isn’t just faster – it makes you more confident that you can find more answers. 

That’s a small example. But I think this is where it starts. I’m in a lot of private groups for actors, entrepreneurs, and fitness enthusiasts. (Hint: Birds of a feather flock together. Want to start thinking bigger and smarter? Surround yourself with people who do that. Facebook is such an easy way to do this.) These are great resources to finding answers to the questions we so desperately seek. At the same time, it becomes very easy to give up control and let others do the work for us. I frequently see questions from others who want to know basic information that they could look up on their own. Things like what time a team meeting is, or a particular file that was posted a while ago. Don’t get me wrong – sometimes these individuals have already put in time and energy looking on their own with no luck. I’m not talking about them. I like them. And some of them are cute. (Looking at you, Pablo. I’ve seen your results this month.) I’m talking about the ones who go RIGHT for the post button the minute they have a question.  It’s not entirely their fault. They’ve become so set in their ways that it’s part of their wiring.

And maybe that’s you. So….let’s rewire you. 

The next time you are looking for answer – don’t post about it. Don’t bug your friend. Put some time in to figure it out yourself. Even if it seems like something that might take a little while to figure out. Give it ten minutes. Set a freaking timer if that helps. And if you haven’t gotten answer by the time the timer goes off – stop. The point is to start a new habit – not necessarily to find the answer. THEN….go ask your friend. 

And if it’s Pablo, see if he’s free for coffee later. (Seriously ladies, get on that one.) 

To reiterate: This seems like a small step. It can lead to bigger things. I realized this earlier yesterday morning when I saw one of these questions coming from a friend. They asked a question about something basic that I could have figured out if I cared enough to know. I love this friend to death. And while this particular topic wasn’t important in the grand scheme of life, I could help but notice – This friend is struggling with a few different and MUCH bigger areas right now. What if by starting by figuring out that one answer on their own – they were able to start a compound effect to making more awesome, powerful decisions on their own? 

That’d be pretty fucking cool, wouldn’t it? 

Let’s go get ‘em friends. Let’s take back control. 

PS – Sorry for swearing so much in this post (Mom). 

PSS – Pablo isn’t real. I just like that name. Sorry ladies. You’ll have to do your leg work to find such a looker. 

Why I Do Personal Development (with a story of my not-so-good morning)

My morning was going freaking fantastic. And then, it just wasn’t. 

Some context:

It was my first day back to my “Tony’s morning routine.” This is where I wake up early somewhere between 5-7am, listen to my morning meditation from Wendy Braun as I shower and change, write in my gratitude journal, and then eat my (healthy) chocolate oatmeal while I read a personal development book. (Right now I’m reading “Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins. Love it.) I do all of this before checking my phone, email, Facebook, or anything that might have something or someone wanting my attention. I want to be in a positive state before checking any of that. 

It. Was. Great. 

I had been working a day job the previous few days and didn’t get this routine. I was excited to be back. I proceeded then to catch up on emails and messages, drink my coffee, and put in some work towards my Beachbody coaching for a couple hours. I was having FUN! I felt a rush of adrenaline that I hadn’t felt in a few days. 

And then…..I worked out. 

Usually this is another part of my morning that I enjoy. Lately however I haven’t been able to workout without experiencing some symptoms after. It’s frustrating. And being a Beachbody coach, I like to share what I’m doing – which includes setbacks. That day I learned after that I still couldn’t finish a workout without experiencing symptoms after.

(Side note: No it’s not serious. Yes I’m okay. Yes, I will repeat this again and still get questions from friends and family asking if I’m okay…) 

I’m sharing this part because then….I got pissed. 

I’d share all the thoughts I said to myself that hour, but instead just pretend you see Tony Rossi doing the opposite of what he posts on social media when it comes to positivity….it’s not pretty. 

I was about to mindlessly scroll and throw a pity party until it was time to leave for work. Instead, realizing that this hasn’t helped at all in the past, I decided to check my folder in my Gmail titled “Personal Development” – filled with blogs and videos from my favorite people that help me be my happiest self. I found found a video from Andrea Schulman from Raise Your Vibration Today that I had yet to check out…..

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF  

…oh my. Okay then. 

It was a slap in the face that I needed. It gave me reminders THAT I HAD HEARD EARLIER THAT MORNING IN MY MORNING ROUTINE that I had completely forgotten about. (Sorry for shouting. We’ll get back to that). Then…I started to feel a little better. 

Personal development, positive reading, and self care isn’t this “one and done” thing. It’s like working out – you have to keep doing it if you want to keep the results you earned. 

So as you go about your day and wonder why it is you’re not feeling happier, more motivated, energized about life, etc ask yourself when the last time you read a positive book or listened to a positive audio. I don’t share this stuff because it’s cute (though some of my blog are pretty adorable.) I do it because I need it for myself. 

I hope you take advantage too, my friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em, yeah? 

The Facebook Status That was Far Too Long to Post

How am I feeling, Facebook? You know…I’m not quite sure. 

You see Facebook….

*Facebook IMMEDIATELY begins grumbling about how “most people just make a status and then leave without making a big deal out of it”

Oh Facebook….you’re cute. And you clearly don’t know me. I don’t do anything without making a big deal. And come now…I could be talking politics….

You see Facebook…

I’ve been having this rough stretch since I found myself getting sick. It was just a nagging cold, but eventually it passed. However, I kept getting lingering symptoms every time I worked out. As you’re undoubtedly aware from my plethora of selfies, you know that my workouts are important to me. For whatever reason, appearance has been a big deal to me. I grew up being a skinny guy, not really caring about how I looked. I figured, it is what it is. Having muscles? That’d be nice. But at least I’m not overweight…

You know how you have those nightmares and suddenly something is TERRIBLY wrong? You wake up and your head is half shaven, or one of your eye brows has fallen off, or half of your teeth aren’t there anymore? For me, it was waking up and suddently I’m 100 lbs heavier. (And sometimes the teeth thing.) I always had this fear about looking different than the guy whom I’m used to seeing in the mirror. I don’t know WHY I have this fear because – honestly? Whenever people I know DO gain weight, I think about it for a minute…and then go back to thinking about myself and my own “flaws.” We all do it. I know I don’t need to impress anyone. Hell, if I let lose a little more, had more fun, and didn’t pay so much darn attention to my amaaaazing nutrition….I think I’d be a little more appealing to others. I’d be more relatable for one. And I’d also be happier because I’d be loser and more confident….ahhhh confidence…

 THAT’S thing, Facebook: I’m not confident when I deviate from my nutrition plan. I notice those teeny, tiny, incremental gains in my face and stomach and it bugs the hell out of me. I can’t stand it. Does anyone else notice? Oh hell no. Please, I came back from a vacation three years ago and practically couldn’t put on my jeans (this was a first for me) and no one noticed. Those quedillas I had last night? No one is going to care. 

But I do. And I’m figuring that out. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say, Facebook, is that there’s a LOT right now I’m trying to figure out. I’m trying to figure out how to be happy. I want to be able to not be so strict with food, with goals, with money, and with life. I want to be able to fuck up and not give a damn. I want to be able to have TWO cheat nights in a row, not be able to do my “perfect” workouts, and then go on to know for 100% certain that I’ll be able to get back on track.

Sounds pretty lofty, huh? 

Lightbulb: I just realized – it’s incredibly possible. I just need to make the decision. 

Wow. What the hell did we do before you, Facebook? 

*Facebook expresses that while it actually tends to cause more people stress than happiness and wishes people would, in fact, learn to moderate its usage more* 

Ah. Fair enough. In any case….thank you. I really appreciate having a place to share all this. 

Let’s go get ‘em, yeah? (Sorry. That’s a thing I do on my blog. And in fact…that’s where I’m gonna post this, but will totally share a link I swear.) 

PS – Oh, and you know the whole showing me football scores when it’s clearly still baseball season? Like I said….you really don’t know me