Goals are Great – Unless You Do This

Do you have a habit that you’re borderline obsessed with?

…I do.

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Thanks for the free pen at Pride Fest, Northwestern! 😉

I’m addicted. I like to think about really cool things happening in my life. I like to visualize. I like to day dream. I like to give lots of inspirational speeches….in my studio apartment. (But then visualize giving them to the public.)

When I start to see evidence of these goals coming to fruition, I get excited – like, really excited. It’s awesome. My confidence starts to improve. I see myself as a whole new person. It’s like magic. 

Except for one thing…

Why am I waiting for these goals to happen – many of which are dependent upon the decisions of others – to start having more confidence in myself? 

Since when did I need a resume to tell me whether or not I get to be confident? Ultimately, we’re the same person regardless of whether or not we get promoted, win an award, score the digits of your neighbor who clearly thinks you’re funny and have nice hair….right?

(I think I’m right.)

I think I’m enough. I think I’m more than enough. I want to feel that way regardless of whether or not I “win” at my goals or not. (But spoiler alert – I am going to win.) 

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Speaking of winning – this was me on my way to the Jeff Awards. I made a quick stop at another place full of inspiring winners. 

Wanna know something else? 

I have a feeling that once we – yes, you’re included in this part, once we do get that feeling….then those accomplishments are going to be coming in hard and fast. 

Okay. I’m done talking. What about you? 

What’s an area of your life that you can start feeling more awesome in – regardless of what your resume says? 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

 

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

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The Biggest Test We Face When Setting Goals

Ah, goals. Don’t you love that feeling when you decide enough is enough and you’re ready to make a change? You think to yourself, “YES. I CAN DO THIS. I AM AWESOME. LIFE IS AWESOME. I AM THE ONE.”

And once the feel good feelings wear off, you suddenly start to remember a few things…

You suck. You realize you weren’t strong enough. You can’t keep up with the pace of everyone else. You fizzle out. You let life get to you. And you realize how much you love things like cheese and chocolate. (Or, you know, whatever throws you off track from your goal.)

But let’s put this in nicer terms, yeah?

What’s really happening here: The Universe is throwing you a curveball. 

I recently set a goal to complete three straight weeks of clean eating and exercise. I picked a workout program that was exactly 21 days. I specifically wanted to send in my results to Beachbody and do the program start to finish – no cheats. (And I kinda wanted the free t shirt.)

I had tried this program once before. I got hurt on day ten and had to stop. But this time was different. This time, I decided, I would win. I even had my day 22 cheat day planned: Red Sox vs White Sox game. It was perfect. 

….and then a free Cubs ticket landed in my lap.

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Those two words: Free. Baseball. They’re kinda a big weakness of mine.

“But Tony. I don’t believe in this whole thing where the Universe is ‘for or against me.’ In fact, I hate anything ‘woo-woo.’ This isn’t for me.” 

I actually totally get it. And I’m someone who, admittedly, can get a little “woo woo” and warm and fuzzy. At the same time, this lesson applies regardless of whether or not you believe in a higher power. Life is always going to test us. As Alexi Panos would say, it’s like “the universe asking whether or not we’re really serious.” But you can call it whatever you want. 

The reason I like this explanation so much is because it stops making the situation so damn personal. It makes us normal human beings and not some awful person for wanting to revert to our old habits. Which, by the way, don’t just bring us comfort. They bring us joy, pleasure, and instant gratification. And it’s a completely natural thing to want to do when you’re having a shit day. 

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I’m going to start referring to those off days as “days where I get to be treated as a princess.” I think it has a better ring to it. 

So be aware that this test is coming. And if you slip – that’s fine. You’ll be ready for it the next time. Whatever you do – please don’t stop. Because there’s people you love who are going to benefit from the “you” who wins.

Let’s go get ’em.

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

***   ***   ***

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

You don’t suck

Post originally written for parlepost.com

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Quote: Jen Sincero

Ever have someone hate you?

I once was tweeting with a director. (Yes. Tweeting with a director. It’s a thing.)

I had auditioned for him previously. He suggested we meet up for coffee. “Yes please!” Unfortunately it never happened. I stopped hearing from him. I attempted to connect with him on Facebook, but he never accepted. This did wonders for my self esteem.

Click here to read full post! 

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Tony. Why do I have to click links?” 

I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But I’ll be linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless. Are you, like, available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what you’re looking for and we’ll see if I’m a good fit!

The difference between being negative and being genuine. (It’s not what you think.) 

…okay maybe it’s what you think. 

Just recently, I came home to my apartment after returning to a visit to the Boston area. 

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Not wanting to break routine, I proceeded to through my usual vacation withdrawals at first. “What? Back to reality? Back to day jobs? Ugh…” I decided I needed something Boston related to get me through the next few days. And since nothing makes me happier than the Red Sox, I figured listening to some baseball would do the trick. 

Good news: I have a membership that allows me to listen to any baseball game I want! 

Bad news: …it wasn’t working. 

Three phone calls and multiple conversations with both Google Play and MLB At Bat reps resulted in….no answers. 

The follow day, I called again. This time I got a rep named Cara from Oklahoma. 

Truthfully, Cara didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic to talk to me. And I couldn’t say I blamed her – I was calling to get help with something that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I love baseball – but I don’t need baseball. (Playoffs excluded. Obviously.) Yet I was surprised when apologized to me for not sounding more energetic. “I’m really not feeling well,” she admitted.

Her honesty allowed us to have an awesome conversation. She wasn’t being fake, pretending like she was thrilled to be at work (even though I’m sure her boss wouldn’t approve.) She was honest and I even got to learn more about her. She loves baseball, hockey, and was looking to get back into a career in singing! I loved everything about this. 

She also scored extra points when she solved my problem and got Tony Rossi some baseball back into his life. 

Now had Cara gone on to vent to me about how much she hated her job, hated being sick, etc. this would have been a different blog post. But I personally love when I get a sense of honesty from someone who is on the clock and serving me. 

In a nutshell, I can’t stand fake. I blame the corporate environment for this, and not their employees – who are most likely not getting paid enough to even be there in the first place. 

The way to be genuine is to be yourself without venting. I love getting a sense of the person behind the mandatory smile. But let’s also not confuse this with getting a free pass to bitch and moan that we’re on the clock in the first place. 

So friends, be on the lookout for more ways to be yourself without going into a tailspin of “this sucks and here’s why.” 

And if all else fails – tweet broadcaster Tim Neverett and let him know where you’re listening from. He likes when you do this. 

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Don’t worry, I wasn’t being negative. They were broadcasting an extra inning game. And doing it wonderfully. 

 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 


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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

***   ***   ***

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

 

2 Things to Learn from “Angry Lady at the Park”

I was at Millennium Park.

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Photo credit: What…you don’t believe that I can blog AND take pics on my phone?! 

I was taking some time to eat, read, and put myself in a positive state before work. It was going to be another long one… 

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It looks more fun than it was. But I suppose there were perks. 

I always take time before day jobs to put myself in a good mood. Naturally I have my guard up against anyone who might ruin it….like the old lady on the park bench next to me. She was minding her own business with a newspaper when someone took the seat next to her – smoking a cigarette. 

…lady with newspaper was not amused. 

She got upset. Like, really upset. After asking him to move, she then continued yelling after him that he needed to go across the street and smoke his cigarette elsewhere. “Leave! Leave!” 

…so much for my positive state. 

Typically this is when I’d think of a bunch of nasty things about this lady. Fortunately, my “put myself in a good mood” had started much earlier in the morning and I was looking at this from a different angle. I was reminded of some themes that come up when people are yelling and angry: 

  1. People who are hurting will hurt people. When someone is being a bitch, or an asshole, or whatever other vulgar word is your choice (I have a list if you’d like to see), it’s because they themselves are hurting. 
  2. People who care – like, really care – about life’s little annoyances…just don’t have enough interest in bigger things. As author Mark Manson would put it, these people are choosing to give all of their ‘fucks’ to to that one thing because they don’t have anyone or anywhere else to give them. 

Not only does this lady not have enough fucks to give to other areas of life, but it’s possible that she’s hurting because she doesn’t have these fucks to give to those areas. Areas like friends or family. And maybe that was why she was hurting. Or maybe it had to do with someone she lost due to cancer. 

This is when the inner critic in me goes, “But Tony, what if that woman really is just a nasty little bitch?” 

Maybe she is. I didn’t ask her. And because I didn’t ask her, I’m giving hurt the benefit of the doubt. Hurt people hurt people. I feel bad that she was hurting and was choosing to hurt the gentleman who merely wanted to smoke a cigarette before his day started.

So, my friends, think twice before giving your own fucks towards those people who are going out of their way to hurt others. You’ll be better for it. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

***   ***   ***

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live!