I was at Millennium Park.
Photo credit: What…you don’t believe that I can blog AND take pics on my phone?!
I was taking some time to eat, read, and put myself in a positive state before work. It was going to be another long one…
It looks more fun than it was. But I suppose there were perks.
I always take time before day jobs to put myself in a good mood. Naturally I have my guard up against anyone who might ruin it….like the old lady on the park bench next to me. She was minding her own business with a newspaper when someone took the seat next to her – smoking a cigarette.
…lady with newspaper was not amused.
She got upset. Like, really upset. After asking him to move, she then continued yelling after him that he needed to go across the street and smoke his cigarette elsewhere. “Leave! Leave!”
…so much for my positive state.
Typically this is when I’d think of a bunch of nasty things about this lady. Fortunately, my “put myself in a good mood” had started much earlier in the morning and I was looking at this from a different angle. I was reminded of some themes that come up when people are yelling and angry:
- People who are hurting will hurt people. When someone is being a bitch, or an asshole, or whatever other vulgar word is your choice (I have a list if you’d like to see), it’s because they themselves are hurting.
- People who care – like, really care – about life’s little annoyances…just don’t have enough interest in bigger things. As author Mark Manson would put it, these people are choosing to give all of their ‘fucks’ to to that one thing because they don’t have anyone or anywhere else to give them.
Not only does this lady not have enough fucks to give to other areas of life, but it’s possible that she’s hurting because she doesn’t have these fucks to give to those areas. Areas like friends or family. And maybe that was why she was hurting. Or maybe it had to do with someone she lost due to cancer.
This is when the inner critic in me goes, “But Tony, what if that woman really is just a nasty little bitch?”
Maybe she is. I didn’t ask her. And because I didn’t ask her, I’m giving hurt the benefit of the doubt. Hurt people hurt people. I feel bad that she was hurting and was choosing to hurt the gentleman who merely wanted to smoke a cigarette before his day started.
So, my friends, think twice before giving your own fucks towards those people who are going out of their way to hurt others. You’ll be better for it.
Let’s go get ‘em.
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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.
He also loves to blog on how to do this.
Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you! You can reach him at
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