2018 won’t save you

“TONY. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME ABOUT THE NEW YEAR?!”

Relax. I’m going somewhere (positive) with this….

Look, we all see a lot of interesting social media posts this time of year.
“I love the first snow!”
“What the f**k is my f**king coat?! #loveloveactually
“Can’t wait for the annual actor holiday party!  #totalcheatnight
“Ughhh….I ate too much for my total cheat night…” #worthit #round2tonight
Okay those are just mine. I’m sure you’ve seen others that are richer in content. At the same time, I’m also guessing you’ve seen a variety of not so positive messages this time of year….
“SERIOUSLY 2017?!” #sooverit
“Can we just get into the new year already? 
“Next year is going to be so much better….”
“I just got fired for reading Tony’s blog at work. #unsubscribing”
Whether you’re #sooverit with 2017 or just excited for 2018, I have news for you: 2018 is just a date on the calendar. 
 
Of course there’s nothing wrong with using dates on a calendar or any kind of “new beginning” as a force of positive motivation. But let’s not confuse external motivation as the only source of motivation. That said, I’m not here to crush your “positive bubble.” . Instead of relying on a date on a calendar or any kind of external motivation, what do you have at your disposal that you can use as internal movtivation?? 
 
If you’re eager to learn more about this, I recommend reading up on some of the thought leaders who have been in the game a little longer than me. Some of my favorites include Brendan Burchard, Darren Hardy, and James Clear
But Tony – I’m here! Can you give me any tips or advice that might be a little more helpful in the meantime?
I thought you’d never ask….
On my flight back to Boston, I compiled a lost of positive and empowering thoughts. Feel free to print out or write them down as reminders when you’re feeling frustrated.

Empowering thoughts:

  • 2018 will have setbacks. Buckle up 😉 (Sorry…that wasn’t empowering…)
  • 2018 will also have beauty. Keep your eyes open so you don’t miss it.
  • You are absolutely allowed to find beauty in your setbacks
  • Just because you’ve never done something before that a lot of others have been doing who are a lot (older than you, younger than you, etc) doesn’t mean you can’t start exactly where you are
  • Sometimes things can be a lot easier than they seem

 

Thoughts for my single friends:

  • Being single allows you time for things you might not have if you were in a relationship. Enjoy them while knowing that it won’t stay this way.
  • Please…you can find a new boyfriend without making a bunch of physical changes. Stop reading blogs that tell you otherwise.
  • List five reasons you’d make an amazing partner. Consider how many people currently in relationships aren’t getting those qualities from their significant other. You get to give those to someone.

Goal thoughts

  • Sometimes the hardest part that you’ve been dreading for so long won’t be nearly as bad as you make them out to be in your head
  • Ten years from now, you’ll probably have achieved a lot of your goals. And you’ll wonder why you wasted so much time freaking out.
  • Don’t be so hard on yourself that you stop enjoying the journey.
  • There are going to be parts you look back on fondly that will surprise you

Setbacks:

  • Your situation that’s happening right now is just that – it’s happening now. That doesn’t make it permanent.
  • You’re hard on yourself because you care. Be proud that you care.
  • Sometimes that negative voice in your head will get very loud. That doesn’t make it true. Volume does not equal truth.
  • Your week might start out with six bad days, but that seventh awesome day will make everything worth it.
  • You don’t have to be happy right now. But keep the flame of hope alive for when you’re ready to get back up

And a Tony thought for you…..

  • YOU ARE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, AND CAPABLE OF GREATNESS EXACTLY AS YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU ARE. 

 

“Start where you are, with what you have – because what you have is plenty enough.” -Eric Thomas. 

 

I’m #notperfect. But if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re not either. Why not try something empowering instead of disempowering this week – or hell, this year??

Thank you for reading – whether it’s your first time or one hundredth. I’m grateful for you. You deserve to feel amazing. Go after what you love.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

 

PS – Thanks to all of you who did make 2017 so memorable 🙂

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Photo by Garret Sacco 

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Photo by Nicole Shuberg Photography

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Photo by Johnny Knight Photo 

 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

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It caught me out of nowhere

All of a sudden I was in a shit mood. I figured it was one of those “we’ll always have shit days” type of thing.

Until I reflected. I was shocked at what I discovered.

 

What happened: I had started my day off the usual way: Exercise, personal development, Starbucks morning. All signs pointed to a good started

What happened next: I had an incredibly unproductive work session. Lots of negative chatter. Suddenly I was focused on everything that was going wrong, and doing my work from that place of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not there yet,” “I’m a failure….”

The rest of the day: Not good….(shocker) 

Fast forward to the next day. I was well rested. I was in a better mood. Sleep has a funny way of making you feel better, doesn’t it?

I now had a bunch of new perspectives. Not only was I looking my situation from a fresh perspective, but I was relistening to my book (“High Performance Habits” – Brendan Burchard) with a new perspective too.

What happened next:

-I literally did the same routine. Relistened to the chapters I had listened to the day before, as per my practice….but now I heard the words in a different light. (Hence why I do this.)

-Yesterday it was new information. It was a spotlight on all the things I’ve been doing wrong, as well as things that are missing in my life. Personal development tends to do this – create awareness. Yet that day in particular, it was a BIG learning moment of a lot of things I was doing wrong. But it happened so gradually in this book that I didn’t realize it was the cause of what started a negative loop hole.

Now I can look at this information completely different. “OH. Yeah that was the part when I realized that I’m working a lot, but achieving little. No wonder I was so upset…” It made me remember that the fact that I’m not earning enough money is really holding me back. Which then, in turn, made me really upset when I went to Starbucks and started applying for jobs online….

Personal development is a wonderful tool to help you notice the trouble areas. It’s kind of like lights in your car indicating you need to check your engine. It’s GOOD to know about this information. However, if every time that light went off, you started to focus on how much of a failure you are for not keeping better care of your car, these signals could do a number on your self esteem.

The biggest take away I got that morning was that the whole point I was READING this book was to become better. Getting better doesn’t happen just by listening to the chapter. It doesn’t happen by even completing the exercise – although you should and it’s a great start. It happens when you FINISH the book, COMPLETE the exercises, and then….read it again. Keep applying and deepening these principles into your brain.

And remember that you’re awesome just for starting. A lot of people won’t even do that.

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In case you or your talent friends need a positive and quirky guy at your office….

Let’s go get ‘em.

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Tony News! 

I just held my first ever “Empowered Actor” worshop at Next Door Chicago!

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Markell, Olivia, and Rebekah were SO MUCH FUN to have! 

I’m helping actors feel more confident, discover their self worth, and remember to have fun along the way to that “booking more work” thing.

Know someone who could benefit from this? Email me at tony.rossi@gmail.com

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

If you’re uncomfortable – say something

Quick announcement!! 

I’m going to be doing my first ever Empowerment for Actors workshop! 

Location: Next Door Chicago, 659 W Diversey 

Date: Sunday December 18th, 7:30PM 

Cost: Free

Check the bottom of this post for more! 

It was day two of the RSNA conference at McCormick Place. I was working. As a live model. 

And let me tell you folks – while yours truly weighs 140 and is tall and lanky – he is a killer live model! Many a doctor have raved about how clearly Tony Rossi anatomy comes through via ultra sound.  

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Disclaimer: We all do this as willing participants. We get emails asking if we want to participate. We then get a booking email. Upon arrival, we sign a form agreeing to participate and recognizing we can withdraw at any time. So if we later decide, “Nah, I’d rather not expose my anatomy to a bunch of strangers today,” we get to do that. 

How being an ultra sound model works: You lay on a table, much like the one you would see in a visit to the doctor’s office. A doctor then performs an ultra sound on you on whichever body part is being examined that session. 

Now typically, my least favorite day of the sessions is abdomen day. In order to see our abdomen accurately, we’re asked not to eat before arriving. I. DO. NOT. LIKE. NOT. EATING. But this year, I found myself with a new session to dislike: Pelvis day. I had never done this one before. 

“Ah,” I thought. “So that’s why the email told us to make sure we were wearing boxers….” Still, I didn’t think it would be a big deal. I’m comfortable with my body, and I didn’t mind them moving the probe a little lower. 

The session began. I didn’t like it. The session continued….and I really didn’t like it. These guys were getting the probe right up there. “HEY!” I thought to myself, “I MIGHT BE SINGLE AGAIN BUT THAT AREA IS RESERVED!” 

All joking aside, I was very uncomfortable. And I didn’t know how to express this without upsetting people or compromising my paycheck for the day. Fortunately, my doctor was a very nice person with excellent bedside manners. He continued to ask me if I was okay. He reminded me that we could stop if I wanted to. I nearly did. I nearly spoke up. Inside, part of me was screaming to say, “You know, I really would actually like to stop. I’m sorry for being an inconvenience when I know this is what you’re all here to see, but I actually was mentally unprepared for this particular session. I’d feel comfortable if we stopped.” 

But each time I thought this, another voice chimed in. It had some other thoughts: 

 

Tony. These doctors flew in from around the world to get hands on experience for this. They need you to participate.

You’d be causing a major inconvenience if you asked to stop. You know you’re going to really upset them if you back out, right? 

Remember you’re getting paid for this? You need the money. And besides, you woke up at 5:30am to be here….don’t blow this. 

 

Now, had I realized what this session was going to entail before signing up, I probably would have declined. Now I know I should ask what body parts they’re scanning if I participate in the future. It was the sudden “Hey, we’re about to stick this stick really close to some intimate areas! You ready?” that caught me off guard – so much so that I didn’t have the courage to speak up. There was all this imagined pressure and it was easier to keep saying I was fine. But the truth was I felt very uncomfortable and trapped. 

Another disclaimer? Sure! ONE MORE TIME! This was a very safe space. I was in the room with respectful people. I’m grateful that I learned this lesson in such a safe space. 

I still wanted to share this story because we’re living in a time where a lot of people are coming out with stories of being physically abused in inappropriate ways. I can see how very easy it would be for someone to not speak up when caught with a sudden, “Hey, you’re cool with this, right?” when working as an actor in a play or a film. If I hadn’t had this experience, I probably would have gone along with whatever the director had asked me to do if I was thrown a curveball on set. 

I hope that everyone gains the courage to speak up. Our respect for ourselves speaks more volume than any paycheck can provide. 

Feel free to pass on if this would be helpful for another friend to hear. And if this resonates with you, I’d love it if you would leave a quick comment saying so, or to shoot me a tweet

Let’s be brave. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

 

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Hey acting friends….

Have you ever said the following?? ( I have…)

“I’m stressed and can’t enjoy myself. I thought this was supposed to be fun?”
“I’m getting discouraged with the amount of rejection I keep getting.”
“I want to get the part, but I feel like everyone is angry at me when I audition. I don’t want to feel like I’m not wanted.”
“Paying the bills is just draining me…”

NEXT WEEK I’ll be doing my first ever live workshop!

Some things we’ll cover….

-More empowering ways to view auditioning
-What to do when you feel like people are upset at you for being in the room (auditions, rehearsals, etc)
-Start seeing networking as something fun
-I’ll give you a “start doing” and “stop doing” list for when it comes to an acting career
-I’ll share some exercises on “how to be happy without the fluffy BS” that I came up with myself

Sunday December 18th @ 7:30pm
Next Door Chicago – 659 W Diversey

ONLY 10 SPOTS!

(Oh, and it’s free)

Email tony.rossi@gmail.com for questions or to RSVP

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

Here’s what’s really crazy….

Wanna know what’s crazy? 

I’ll tell you a story. Then you’ll know what’s crazy. 

So I met this woman who worked in the medical field. Wicked friendly. She shared stories of her husband, her kids in college, and her history in the field. She even opened up and told me that while she’s knowledgable in the health field, she doesn’t always practice what she preaches….she’s a big fan chocolate chip cookies. Like, she eats a lot of chocolate chip cookies. Every day. 

“Tony….is that what’s ‘crazy?’” 

Hang on. I’m getting there. 

So she likes chocolate chip cookies. So what? Even celebrity trainer Shaun T posts photos on his Facebook page where he’s eating a donut or sipping on a Blue Moon. It wasn’t the cookies alone that made me cringe. She shared multiple stories where she had gotten very ill. In fact, it was only a few days ago where she found herself very sick at work…and also admitted she hadn’t been eating much/drinking much water – but she did have a diet coke. And given her nutritional choices of the day, it seemed like she was on track for a similar pattern. 

I quickly put two and two together and recognized this very kind new friend of mine had not learned her lesson. She hadn’t come to the conclusion that, “You know what? I should probably hydrate more and eat some real foods regularly throughout the day so that this doesn’t happen again.” In other words, it was only a matter of time before she would likely have a new, similar story to share with her next new friend. 

“Okay, Tony. I get it. That’s pretty crazy that she doesn’t make a change….” 

But you know….that’s not even the craziest part. 

The craziest part? It’s that I can recognize this isn’t a smart move on her part. And yet, you could say that I’m guilty of the same lesson

Now I eat a lot – like, an awful lot. I drink water. I exercise. But yet, I’m still sick from the same stupid cold I had last week. And you wanna know why? Because I haven’t properly rested. 

Don’t get me wrong. It’s been a busy week! But I still have pushed myself with a few things: I attended a late night rehearsal that was optional. I opted to exercise the following morning, despite not feeling 100%. And after recognizing that yes, I was still sick, I continued to bike to work. I was quite the sick mess by the end of the day. 

You wanna know what’s crazy?

Each and everyone of us will encounter pain, and yet repeat the same actions that led to it. Yet most of us would rather sit and complain that the pain returned than do something different. (And yes – I’m in this category too.)

So – when will we recognize that, yes, we have the best of intentions, but no, we can’t keep repeating the same patterns and expect a different result? 

I can only answer for myself – I’m starting now. I took the next two days off from biking. Still haven’t attempted a full workout more other than yoga. And tomorrow? Still not pushing myself.  

What about you? 

Let’s be better. Let’s change now. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

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There were some early mornings last week…..but they were pretty damn beautiful too. 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe!