You don’t suck

Post originally written for parlepost.com

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Quote: Jen Sincero

Ever have someone hate you?

I once was tweeting with a director. (Yes. Tweeting with a director. It’s a thing.)

I had auditioned for him previously. He suggested we meet up for coffee. “Yes please!” Unfortunately it never happened. I stopped hearing from him. I attempted to connect with him on Facebook, but he never accepted. This did wonders for my self esteem.

Click here to read full post! 

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Tony. Why do I have to click links?” 

I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But I’ll be linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless. Are you, like, available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what you’re looking for and we’ll see if I’m a good fit!

The difference between being negative and being genuine. (It’s not what you think.) 

…okay maybe it’s what you think. 

Just recently, I came home to my apartment after returning to a visit to the Boston area. 

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Not wanting to break routine, I proceeded to through my usual vacation withdrawals at first. “What? Back to reality? Back to day jobs? Ugh…” I decided I needed something Boston related to get me through the next few days. And since nothing makes me happier than the Red Sox, I figured listening to some baseball would do the trick. 

Good news: I have a membership that allows me to listen to any baseball game I want! 

Bad news: …it wasn’t working. 

Three phone calls and multiple conversations with both Google Play and MLB At Bat reps resulted in….no answers. 

The follow day, I called again. This time I got a rep named Cara from Oklahoma. 

Truthfully, Cara didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic to talk to me. And I couldn’t say I blamed her – I was calling to get help with something that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I love baseball – but I don’t need baseball. (Playoffs excluded. Obviously.) Yet I was surprised when apologized to me for not sounding more energetic. “I’m really not feeling well,” she admitted.

Her honesty allowed us to have an awesome conversation. She wasn’t being fake, pretending like she was thrilled to be at work (even though I’m sure her boss wouldn’t approve.) She was honest and I even got to learn more about her. She loves baseball, hockey, and was looking to get back into a career in singing! I loved everything about this. 

She also scored extra points when she solved my problem and got Tony Rossi some baseball back into his life. 

Now had Cara gone on to vent to me about how much she hated her job, hated being sick, etc. this would have been a different blog post. But I personally love when I get a sense of honesty from someone who is on the clock and serving me. 

In a nutshell, I can’t stand fake. I blame the corporate environment for this, and not their employees – who are most likely not getting paid enough to even be there in the first place. 

The way to be genuine is to be yourself without venting. I love getting a sense of the person behind the mandatory smile. But let’s also not confuse this with getting a free pass to bitch and moan that we’re on the clock in the first place. 

So friends, be on the lookout for more ways to be yourself without going into a tailspin of “this sucks and here’s why.” 

And if all else fails – tweet broadcaster Tim Neverett and let him know where you’re listening from. He likes when you do this. 

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Don’t worry, I wasn’t being negative. They were broadcasting an extra inning game. And doing it wonderfully. 

 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 


***   ***   ***

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

***   ***   ***

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

 

2 Things to Learn from “Angry Lady at the Park”

I was at Millennium Park.

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Photo credit: What…you don’t believe that I can blog AND take pics on my phone?! 

I was taking some time to eat, read, and put myself in a positive state before work. It was going to be another long one… 

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It looks more fun than it was. But I suppose there were perks. 

I always take time before day jobs to put myself in a good mood. Naturally I have my guard up against anyone who might ruin it….like the old lady on the park bench next to me. She was minding her own business with a newspaper when someone took the seat next to her – smoking a cigarette. 

…lady with newspaper was not amused. 

She got upset. Like, really upset. After asking him to move, she then continued yelling after him that he needed to go across the street and smoke his cigarette elsewhere. “Leave! Leave!” 

…so much for my positive state. 

Typically this is when I’d think of a bunch of nasty things about this lady. Fortunately, my “put myself in a good mood” had started much earlier in the morning and I was looking at this from a different angle. I was reminded of some themes that come up when people are yelling and angry: 

  1. People who are hurting will hurt people. When someone is being a bitch, or an asshole, or whatever other vulgar word is your choice (I have a list if you’d like to see), it’s because they themselves are hurting. 
  2. People who care – like, really care – about life’s little annoyances…just don’t have enough interest in bigger things. As author Mark Manson would put it, these people are choosing to give all of their ‘fucks’ to to that one thing because they don’t have anyone or anywhere else to give them. 

Not only does this lady not have enough fucks to give to other areas of life, but it’s possible that she’s hurting because she doesn’t have these fucks to give to those areas. Areas like friends or family. And maybe that was why she was hurting. Or maybe it had to do with someone she lost due to cancer. 

This is when the inner critic in me goes, “But Tony, what if that woman really is just a nasty little bitch?” 

Maybe she is. I didn’t ask her. And because I didn’t ask her, I’m giving hurt the benefit of the doubt. Hurt people hurt people. I feel bad that she was hurting and was choosing to hurt the gentleman who merely wanted to smoke a cigarette before his day started.

So, my friends, think twice before giving your own fucks towards those people who are going out of their way to hurt others. You’ll be better for it. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

***   ***   ***

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

Avoid the Norm: Find Your Own Inner Joy

Post originally written for parlepost.com 

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It was 12:48am.

I placed my tortilla chips, mozzarella cheese, and two PBRs (Tall Boys. Obviously) on the counter. I’m sure I was quite the sight.

Living a healthy lifestyle is something I take pride in. But I like a break from routine every now and then. Earlier that night, I also treated myself to a low key evening with friends. It involved draft beer and bar pizza. These were the perfect ingredients for a “Tony night off” – good company, good food, and a break from the usual.

As midnight rolled around, I was surprised to find myself more excited than I had been all night as I ventured toward the twenty-four hour Jewel Osco.

…right?

Why was this happening?
Was there something wrong with me?
Am I just not a normal social person like the rest of my friends?  

Click to read full post!

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“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

When Being Right Doesn’t Work

Post originally written for parlepost.com. 

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My name is Tony. And I’m extremely stubborn.

Despite being stubborn, I love to make people feel happier, more confident, and have a better understanding of themselves. In order to have this understanding, it helps to understand others. Which means, if I want to help people in this area, I must do the same. So I’m working on this whole “stubborn” thing and focusing on how to listen better – particularly when I don’t want to…

Click to read the full post! 

***    ***

“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. Last week I shared that I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

BIG NEWS! (And a post….I promise…)

Hey TonyinChicago readers!

For those of you who have hit that “subscribe” button below – many thanks 🙂 I love seeing that others are resonating with the idea of being a more authentically happy person.

Because I want to spread the word of how much control we have over our own happiness, I’ve started applying to other websites.

(Fear not – TonyinChicago isn’t going anywhere 😉 )

In the meantime, I’ve started contributing to a new website called Parlepost.com. One of my favorite posts just got uploaded and I’m happy to share with you all today….

“The Journey To Happiness”

(This one’s for you, actors with day jobs!)

When I first got to Chicago, I wanted a job. Any job. I had moved to pursue acting, but I couldn’t be an actor without money. So I applied anywhere and everywhere.

My first gig was at a toy store. I made $8.50 an hour. The staff and customers were kind, but the job didn’t excite me. Between the pay and my desire to do a bit more exciting work, I needed a change.

I got an office job. I was a receptionist. (I know. Not very exciting.) I made $9.00 an hour and worked 40 hours a week. With a few exceptions, both the staff and the clients here were not too kind and caring….I very much needed a change.

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Click here to read the full post! 

***   ***

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

#tbt: Let’s Get Uncomfortable

Hey friends!

I just came back form another awesome visit to Boston, Massachusetts.

…it was wicked good.

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This nice view on Sunday night for the Cubs-Red Sox game might have been a plus…

Ironically, April has been a popular month for me to visit home. In fact, I had a visit three years ago where I wrote all about it – right here on this blog 🙂

Sure enough. I related it to my goals – and how uncomfortable they can be.

This week, we’ll revisit that time three years ago:  “Let’s get uncomfortable” – April 2014. 

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

***    ****

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

I Broke The Rules

My name is Tony Rossi. Sometimes I break the rules. 

I do this every now and then. As other artists and entrepreneurs can attest to, there are periods where you’re not quite making as much money as you’d like. Which may or may not (but definitely will) cause you to do things that you probably shouldn’t be doing. 

There was a time where I did this and it really stuck out. 

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I won’t say where I was or what I was doing because it was highly illegal…okay that’s a stretch. It really wasn’t. I just found a loop hole that allowed me to steal wifi from an establishment that prefers you to give them money for doing so. Seeing as how I had been able to get away with this in the past, I figured…why not try again? So I did. And sure enough, I was recognized “Hey! Good to see you! When you get a chance, can you (actually do that thing where you pay us money because those are clearly part of the rules for being here)?” 

“Yeah! Definitely!” 

…I didn’t do it. 

The next couple hours were fear filled. “Are they going to say something? They’ll probably say something. I should probably leave. Or hide. This is terrible. I’m terrible. I’m a terrible human being. Is there someone behind me? I bet that’s them…

Which of course, only led to more negative thoughts….

“The staff must hate me. They must think I’m a scammer. They probably think I do this in every area of life. I bet they’ll go home tonight, think about how I’m a scammer, and text each other about what a dick I am….”

I should note that my whole reason for coming here in the first place was to feel positive, inspired, and excited to do work which can help me with my goals. Instead, I found myself furiously typing away at a post that I couldn’t wait to upload. (To my free blog.) 

Between my obsession for self help books and learning more about both myself and what others are thinking about, I’ve learned a few things that resonated that day: 

  1. We all could do better with checking in with ourselves. If the point of doing something, going somewhere, or being with somebody are supposed to make you feel good, do yourself a favor and ask if these things actually are helping you feel good. 
  2. Guys. No one cares about you as much as you think they do. I know, I know. This is a harsh truth. But think about a job you’ve worked in the past where you had an encounter with a coworker or customer. It didn’t go well. It pissed you off. You might have thought about them all the way home, complained about them to your significant other over dinner…..and then needed to unwind. With netflix. Or wine. Or both. The point is, we reach a point where we stop caring because we care way more about ourselves. We only care about the thoughts of others because it relates to ourselves. So do yourself a favor and just let it go. 
  3. This isn’t going to fucking matter a year from now. (Or maybe even tomorrow.) If anything, your trial and tribulation from today is going to make for an incredible story down the road. Because down the road, it’ll be just like your netflix and wine night – you’re going to stop caring about it. 

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Gotta love the quotes at Next Door Chicago!

So put things into perspective. Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Realize that no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. And realize that in the grand scheme of things – this incident really, really isn’t that big of a deal. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

***    ****

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

Why You’re Having a Bad Day

I was having a bad day. And it didn’t seem like I could improve it.

One of the benefits of being a #MyBigYear2017 member is the monthly calls with Courtney Rioux. (You can also sign up on her website to receive info for her free calls if this concept intrigues you.) A question Courtney sometimes asks us is, “Are you willing to see things differently?” I remember the first time I heard her ask this. I realized that each time I posted in our group or shared thoughts on a call, I was sharing them to vent. Not to hear an answer. In order to get that answer that deep down I ultimately wanted, I needed to see things differently. And to see things differently, I needed to be okay with being “wrong” about the way I was currently seeing things. 

A thought Courtney shares is, “You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be right.” I constantly need this reminder because, well….I like be right! 🙂 And the funny thing is, I think that by being right, I’ll automatically be happy. Usually it works the opposite. 

Back to my bad day: I wasn’t in a good mood and I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Yet with the mood I was in, I wasn’t just unmotivated. But I grew more frustrated every time I started a new task. I quickly realized that this wasn’t the state I wanted to be in when doing things like answering emails and submitting to different theatre companies. 

I took a walk. (Okay, I went to Walgreens. I needed toilet paper.) 

I got home. I listened to Ross Grant do his bi-weekly #ActOnThisTV periscope.

And slowly, I started to feel better. (Cubs rallying in the 9th for a day game at Wrigley? Bonus points.)

It wasn’t until after all of these things that I started to be willing to see things differently. And once I was willing to see things differently, I was able to do the things that made me happy. 

Next time you’re in a bad mood ask yourself: Are you willing to see things differently? Or do you want to complain? If you want to complain, chances are you just want to be right. (Trust me, I get it.) And if you want to be right, perhaps right now is not the thing to solve your problem.

Take a break from the problem. In fact, watch this

I know, right? Cubs will do that to you.

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Thanks Cubbie Instagram for the pic. You make my blog look good. (Also – follow the Cubbies on instagram.)

Let’s go get ‘em friends. 

***    ****

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

Baseball is Not “Just Baseball”

I used to think I was going to be a Harry Potter when I grew up.

I was eleven. I was a skinny guy with glasses. It wasn’t too long before I heard an announcement that the Harry Potter series would be turned into a movies. Like, real life movies. I should also note I lacked confidence, was terrified of girls (especially if I had a crush on them), and was eager to fit in with the popular kids. (I know, I know – the story of every eleven year old.)  

I made the decision: I was going to be cast as Harry Potter.

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….yeah. I had zero acting experience. I am not British. It didn’t happen. But I totally got paid to wear a green suit for a music video shoot one time…

This, my friends, is a very true story of what would eventually lead me to join drama club, continue acting through high school, pursue a BA in theatre, and move to Chicago to be a real life actor. That said, I don’t need to be Harry Potter. And today I much prefer plays over movies.

Reader note: If your name is Steven Spielberg, please stop reading and email tony.rossi@gmail.com. I’d be open to discussing “awkward guy who laughs too loud” in your upcoming film, despite my theatrical preferences….

Things change as we get older. Passions, goals, hobbies tend to shift. But those one or two passions that stick with us? Those are special. 

Before I wanted to be Harry Potter, I wanted to be a baseball player. I don’t anymore. (Sorry, Theo.) But I guess you can say I still like baseball.

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Another cool thing about Chicago – people here kind of like baseball. (Try watching this without crying. I dare you.)

What makes this special isn’t just the fact that a baseball team won. Yes, the championship was special. But the really special part of this video is watching the deep level of human connection.

That, my friends, is pretty effing beautiful.

This is much, much more than just a game.

I’ve always lived in either Chicago or New England. Know what that means for April? IT’S WEIRD. The weather can’t make up its mind 🙂 But there’s one thing that always makes me happy – baseball is back. There’s magic in the air again.

Finding those things we’re passionate about makes life a whole lot more fun. Don’t downplay those passions, friends. You’re robbing others of your joy. 

Also, this.

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The marquee outside Murphy’s Bleachers always makes me smile. 

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

***    ****

Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉