Just go do it yourself. (Spoiler: There’s some choice language…)

Stop asking. Stop waiting. And go F-ing do it yourself. 

“Tony. That’s mean. And you’re scaring me.” 

I’m sorry. (And sorry for cursing.) I’m not saying that condescendingly. I’m saying it lovingly. As in, “I’m on your freaking side, my friend. Let’s go get ‘em.” 

I get asked a lot of questions. I love it. I love helping people and it absolutely boosts my ego knowing that I made someone’s life easier. Even if it’s a question about doing Facebook Live and how to save them after. Here’s the thing though – I learned about Facebook Live through google. I had never done one and wanted to know how. I also don’t like waiting. And the amount of time and energy you save when you take control and do things on your own isn’t just faster – it makes you more confident that you can find more answers. 

That’s a small example. But I think this is where it starts. I’m in a lot of private groups for actors, entrepreneurs, and fitness enthusiasts. (Hint: Birds of a feather flock together. Want to start thinking bigger and smarter? Surround yourself with people who do that. Facebook is such an easy way to do this.) These are great resources to finding answers to the questions we so desperately seek. At the same time, it becomes very easy to give up control and let others do the work for us. I frequently see questions from others who want to know basic information that they could look up on their own. Things like what time a team meeting is, or a particular file that was posted a while ago. Don’t get me wrong – sometimes these individuals have already put in time and energy looking on their own with no luck. I’m not talking about them. I like them. And some of them are cute. (Looking at you, Pablo. I’ve seen your results this month.) I’m talking about the ones who go RIGHT for the post button the minute they have a question.  It’s not entirely their fault. They’ve become so set in their ways that it’s part of their wiring.

And maybe that’s you. So….let’s rewire you. 

The next time you are looking for answer – don’t post about it. Don’t bug your friend. Put some time in to figure it out yourself. Even if it seems like something that might take a little while to figure out. Give it ten minutes. Set a freaking timer if that helps. And if you haven’t gotten answer by the time the timer goes off – stop. The point is to start a new habit – not necessarily to find the answer. THEN….go ask your friend. 

And if it’s Pablo, see if he’s free for coffee later. (Seriously ladies, get on that one.) 

To reiterate: This seems like a small step. It can lead to bigger things. I realized this earlier yesterday morning when I saw one of these questions coming from a friend. They asked a question about something basic that I could have figured out if I cared enough to know. I love this friend to death. And while this particular topic wasn’t important in the grand scheme of life, I could help but notice – This friend is struggling with a few different and MUCH bigger areas right now. What if by starting by figuring out that one answer on their own – they were able to start a compound effect to making more awesome, powerful decisions on their own? 

That’d be pretty fucking cool, wouldn’t it? 

Let’s go get ‘em friends. Let’s take back control. 

PS – Sorry for swearing so much in this post (Mom). 

PSS – Pablo isn’t real. I just like that name. Sorry ladies. You’ll have to do your leg work to find such a looker. 

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The Perfect Moment Doesn’t Exist

You know that thing you keep saying you’ll do? That one step you could take that could change your life? The process might  take  time, effort, and hard freaking work. But it would ultimately benefit you in the long run. You know that thing?

Why haven’t you done it yet?

Here’s the most common answer: It’s just not the right time.

“I’m too busy right now. I’ll start when things settle down.”

“I don’t have enough money right now. I’ll start in a couple of months when things should be better financially.”

“I’m going to wait until the beginning of the (week/month/year). That feels like a better time to start.”

You guys. We need to stop.

asunder

Like, seriously.

Let’s break these down.

“I’m too busy.” Think back to a month ago. We had the holidays, end of the year projects to complete, trips to plan, and oh-so-many parties to go to. Most of us were putting things off then and planning to do them now in January. Do you still find yourself using the “too busy” excuse this month?

Life isn’t going to stop giving you more things to do. Is February really going to be any different?

“I just can’t afford it right now.”  I think I’ve used this excuse more than any of these. I can’t afford to go to the gym. I can’t afford to eat healthy. I can’t afford this acting related expense. Once I did put money into both my acting career and my health (two of my highest priorities), my accomplishments increased.

Paying more for headshots led to more auditions and gigs. Paying over a hundred dollars for a workout program and meal plan led to me being the health-nut I never thought I’d be. Which then lead me to being more confident in auditions. It all pays off. And usually, we only have to pay for it once.

Even though we might be in a tough spot financially, we tend to use that same amount of money – sometimes in smaller increments – in other areas instead. These usually are fun activities that don’t move us forward. Don’t get me wrong. It’s important to have time for social activities. But when they constantly come at the expense of our goals…is it worth it?

“I’ll start on Monday.” This one is the worst. We think we’re taking action by giving ourselves a future date to start. Really we’re just procrastinating by using a number on a calendar.  It’s toxic. It’s going to keep you from being your best self as long as you allow it to. That’s just not fair.

So. What can we do about this?

Instead of focusing on all of the reasons that taking action will be inconvenient now, consider how this temporary change will set you up for success for the rest of your life.

CAFM

It’s time for YOU to take action! (Thanks to Ben Gonzales for the pic!)

-Need to start exercising? Sure, the transition to a healthy lifestyle is tough. But stay consistent and a year from now you’ll be a master. Which leads you to being healthy for the rest of your life.

-Want to take an awesome, expensive acting class? Sure, that could lead to picking up more shifts and going out less for the rest of the month. Yet the skills you learn and the relationships you build could benefit your entire career.

When we focus on how amazing our future is going to be, we create less stress on the temporary inconveniences the action may cause.

Then again, you can just keep putting that task off. That’s okay too. I mean, you’re okay with staying in your current situation for the rest of your life…..right?

Renchini

WRONG!!! 

Go get ‘em, friends. Stop waiting for the perfect moment. Be the amazing person that you know you’re capable of being.