Ever feel unhappy but are unsure why? (Me too)

So there I was. Sitting in my studio apartment. Cheap rent. Wonderful landlords. A loving family from afar. Plenty of shifts from the day job. From an outside perspective, life was pretty great. 

Yet I was feeling miserable. I was thinking about day jobs and how draining they could be. I was thinking about how I was constantly rushing from one place to another and wasn’t even enjoying the destinations I was going to – even the acting ones. This idea of feeling unhappy when you know others have it worse? Yeah, that can lead to a lot of guilt. For more on how to reframe the way you see this guilt, check out this post here and read the point about “putting things into context.” 

What was most interesting about all this was that I wasn’t able to pinpoint exactly what was making me unhappy until recently. And what was more interesting was that recently I had started meditating. It was the third time that day I had meditated – once in the morning (for the Oprah & Deepak  21 Day Challenge), and then two very short ones I found on headspace. And during the third I finally broke down. It wasn’t a meditation that said, “HEY! Are you suppressing feelings? You should probably let those out. Aaaaand go!” No, it was nothing of the sort. But being able to sit and tune in with my feelings was a new thing for me. It allowed me to focus on things that I normally wouldn’t focus on. 

I rarely give myself permission to sit still. I like action. One of my favorite words to use at the end of the day is “accomplished.” Add fulfillment and joy into the mix, and you’ve had a pretty solid day in my book. But because the theme of meditation has come up in so many podcasts regarding productivity from people who have careers that I want to emulate – or at least a bank account of the sorts – I decided to finally give it a try. 

This is normally where I’d share some actionable steps. Truth be told, I’m literally just recognizing this theme. So as I find out more ways to recognize and tune in, I’ll share ‘em. In the mean time, I’ll just reemphasize the importance of giving yourself the time and space to feel what you are feeling and to recognize what you are feeling. If you’re a high achiever like me, there’s a chance you might not have created space for that yet – and that’s okay. You’re not a bad person for wanting to accomplish big things 🙂 But if you want to accomplish those things, I’m willing to bet we all can do more to make that space. 

I’ll share more as I learn more. In the meantime, shoot me a tweet or leave a comment below if you have any inside scoops! I’d really like to hear them. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

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What Harry Potter Taught Me About Myself

I used to think I was going to be a Harry Potter when I grew up.

I was eleven. I was a skinny guy with glasses. It wouldn’t be long before they would announce that the Harry Potter series would be turned into a movie series. As someone who was eager to fit in with the popular kids and maybe get some female attention for a change, I made the decision: I was going to be cast as Harry Potter. 

Note: I had zero acting experience. I am not British. Don’t bother asking me how I planned on getting an audition. (Without a passport.) 

Many of us go through phases as we grow older. Our passions, goals, and hobbies change. Which makes those one or two (or five) things that we continuously love even more special. 

I have always loved baseball. My passion for baseball never left. And it was because of my passion for baseball that I found myself hanging out with the techies within the theatre department during my sophomore year. Previously I had always been hanging out with the actors. Since learning about how much they loved baseball, I realized that they shared the same passion for the game as I did. We hung out, watched games, drank beer, and caught Red Sox games together. I had found my crowd. 

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2008 Playoffs. The Red Sox were down. Unfortunately those rally caps didn’t work. 

Today, I live in Chicago. There’s no shortage of Cub fan stories that you can find. Some of which will probably move you to tears. Which is why I believe that baseball is truly a special game. And is much more than just a game, regardless of your team affiliation. 

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I encourage everyone living in Chicago and surrounding areas to take a closer look at those around you during the month of April. Are your friends smiling more? Are your coworkers approaching their (non baseball) work with an extra zing? I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s baseball season. It’s a special time of year. 

Finding those things we’re passionate about makes life a whole lot more fun. 

Don’t downplay those passions, friends. You’re robbing others of your joy. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

3 Things I Learned From Having Maggots

So I woke up ready to start my day the usual way: Journaling. Stretching. Workout. Breakfast. Shower. Do responsible adult things and get back to people who have been waiting for you to finish your routine. 

I got as far as journaling. Then I found maggots. 

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While this was taken much later at my first day of interning at Compass Casting – that was pretty much the same expression on yours truly…

I got maggots twice last year. It wasn’t fun. This year I was determined to decrease that number. By 100%. So when I did find them, it was rather upsetting. Insert Tony-Tantrum consisting of cursing and a plethora of “Why me?! Why now?!” questions here.

And then…I realized the problem wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

Not only did I find that there weren’t very many, but I also remembered that of all days I could find maggots – it was also the day where Ernesto’s Pesticides was coming to the building! And while my unit wasn’t scheduled for a spraying, I found my building manager…right as I was taking out the trash! 

Long story short – I have no more maggots. 

Things I learned: 

  1. Freaking out about problems as soon as we identify them doesn’t serve us. It robs us of taking time to reflect and see if the problem is as big of a deal as we’re making it out to be.
  2. Even knowing that – it’s very easy to get caught up in our emotions that stem from the problem. 
  3. I’ve learned this before. I’ll likely need to hear it again. And again. And again. 

Here’s to having a maggot free week 😉 

Let’s go get ‘em.

Disclaimer: Tony had a lovely first day of interning at Compass Casting. Please do not mistake his Beaker face for any negative feelings towards actors, his fellow interns, Sarah Clark, or her dog Tucker. 

Other disclaimer: Tucker is still feeling me out. But we have a good thing going. So he gets smiles before any of the others so far. 

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

Stop it. You’re not a bad person. (VLOG)

I got home in a bad mood.

I had zero reason to be upset this day. The night before was awesome. The morning was great. And yet – I still arrived back home feel cranky, upset, and stressed.

God I hate when I’m stressed after a good day. Why can’t I just be normal and enjoy the good things going without worrying about the bad?

Thankfully, I’ve had a lot of positive mentors relaying a bunch of powerful thoughts to me recently. Some of these were live. Others were through audios and recorded videos. And after listening to some of them that morning – I finally started to relax.

And then I got really excited…..and made a video about it.

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Why I stopped stressing out….Click the image to watch! (5 minutes)

Stop it. Give yourself some credit for being so caring. And then from that empowering place, we can finally start to fix whatever it is needs fixing.

Oh, and for the record – we don’t need fixing. We’re awesome exactly as we are. We’re just human and we need some growth and change from time to time.

Let’s go get ’em.

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

3 Things to Try When You Don’t Want To Be Productive

Sometimes we don’t feel like doing the “very important” things we need to do. 

And it’s okay when it happens. 

Like when it happened to me. Yesterday. 

The context: I had plans to go to a coffee shop to do some important work. I specifically picked the location because of how close it was. (And I had a free coffee coupon.) 

What happened: I didn’t make it. I was practically there, but unfortunately I arrived to find the Chicago Police Department blocking off the area before I could get closer. 

What I did from there: I went back home. 

Great story. I know. (Minus the police part. Except I still don’t know what they were protecting me from…) 

What happened next: I got home. I settled in. Made some coffee, and got to work. 

…except I didn’t work. 

In fact, I kept procrastinating. I was checking things I didn’t need to check, then getting upset at myself for not being “better and productive.” Which certainly didn’t help. 

While I tend to get a lot done in the mornings, this just wasn’t happening yesterday. Fortunately I eventually got out of my rut, but it took some time – time that I would have rather spent – well….being productive 😉 

Here are a few things I did that can also help you, should you find yourself in this situation: 

  • Forgive yourself. You’re not a terrible person for not wanting to get things done. You’re human and you’re just not feeling it. You can spend time analyzing why, or researching how to be better. Or….you can just forgive yourself and instead accept however it is that you’re feeling. 

 

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Another gem of a mantra card I got from the wonderful Dallas Travers

 

  • Give yourself permission to “do it wrong.” I was at an awesome workshop last week. We got tips on how to be a more productive entrepreneur. We were specifically told “not to work from our bed”….so guess where I worked from? (Hey. It worked.)  

 

  • Let it go. I ditched my running order of how the day was going to go. I even removed some things from my list for the day. I picked out the non negotiable and went from there. 

Do any of my entrepreneur friends out there like to switch things up? How has this worked for you in the past? Please share below – we got other readers who would love to hear 🙂 

Have a kick ass rest of your week. 

Let’s go get ‘em.

***   ***   ***   

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

You don’t suck

Post originally written for parlepost.com

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Quote: Jen Sincero

Ever have someone hate you?

I once was tweeting with a director. (Yes. Tweeting with a director. It’s a thing.)

I had auditioned for him previously. He suggested we meet up for coffee. “Yes please!” Unfortunately it never happened. I stopped hearing from him. I attempted to connect with him on Facebook, but he never accepted. This did wonders for my self esteem.

Click here to read full post! 

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Tony. Why do I have to click links?” 

I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But I’ll be linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless. Are you, like, available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what you’re looking for and we’ll see if I’m a good fit!

Avoid the Norm: Find Your Own Inner Joy

Post originally written for parlepost.com 

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It was 12:48am.

I placed my tortilla chips, mozzarella cheese, and two PBRs (Tall Boys. Obviously) on the counter. I’m sure I was quite the sight.

Living a healthy lifestyle is something I take pride in. But I like a break from routine every now and then. Earlier that night, I also treated myself to a low key evening with friends. It involved draft beer and bar pizza. These were the perfect ingredients for a “Tony night off” – good company, good food, and a break from the usual.

As midnight rolled around, I was surprised to find myself more excited than I had been all night as I ventured toward the twenty-four hour Jewel Osco.

…right?

Why was this happening?
Was there something wrong with me?
Am I just not a normal social person like the rest of my friends?  

Click to read full post!

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“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

When Being Right Doesn’t Work

Post originally written for parlepost.com. 

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My name is Tony. And I’m extremely stubborn.

Despite being stubborn, I love to make people feel happier, more confident, and have a better understanding of themselves. In order to have this understanding, it helps to understand others. Which means, if I want to help people in this area, I must do the same. So I’m working on this whole “stubborn” thing and focusing on how to listen better – particularly when I don’t want to…

Click to read the full post! 

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“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. Last week I shared that I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

BIG NEWS! (And a post….I promise…)

Hey TonyinChicago readers!

For those of you who have hit that “subscribe” button below – many thanks 🙂 I love seeing that others are resonating with the idea of being a more authentically happy person.

Because I want to spread the word of how much control we have over our own happiness, I’ve started applying to other websites.

(Fear not – TonyinChicago isn’t going anywhere 😉 )

In the meantime, I’ve started contributing to a new website called Parlepost.com. One of my favorite posts just got uploaded and I’m happy to share with you all today….

“The Journey To Happiness”

(This one’s for you, actors with day jobs!)

When I first got to Chicago, I wanted a job. Any job. I had moved to pursue acting, but I couldn’t be an actor without money. So I applied anywhere and everywhere.

My first gig was at a toy store. I made $8.50 an hour. The staff and customers were kind, but the job didn’t excite me. Between the pay and my desire to do a bit more exciting work, I needed a change.

I got an office job. I was a receptionist. (I know. Not very exciting.) I made $9.00 an hour and worked 40 hours a week. With a few exceptions, both the staff and the clients here were not too kind and caring….I very much needed a change.

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Click here to read the full post! 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

I Broke The Rules

My name is Tony Rossi. Sometimes I break the rules. 

I do this every now and then. As other artists and entrepreneurs can attest to, there are periods where you’re not quite making as much money as you’d like. Which may or may not (but definitely will) cause you to do things that you probably shouldn’t be doing. 

There was a time where I did this and it really stuck out. 

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I won’t say where I was or what I was doing because it was highly illegal…okay that’s a stretch. It really wasn’t. I just found a loop hole that allowed me to steal wifi from an establishment that prefers you to give them money for doing so. Seeing as how I had been able to get away with this in the past, I figured…why not try again? So I did. And sure enough, I was recognized “Hey! Good to see you! When you get a chance, can you (actually do that thing where you pay us money because those are clearly part of the rules for being here)?” 

“Yeah! Definitely!” 

…I didn’t do it. 

The next couple hours were fear filled. “Are they going to say something? They’ll probably say something. I should probably leave. Or hide. This is terrible. I’m terrible. I’m a terrible human being. Is there someone behind me? I bet that’s them…

Which of course, only led to more negative thoughts….

“The staff must hate me. They must think I’m a scammer. They probably think I do this in every area of life. I bet they’ll go home tonight, think about how I’m a scammer, and text each other about what a dick I am….”

I should note that my whole reason for coming here in the first place was to feel positive, inspired, and excited to do work which can help me with my goals. Instead, I found myself furiously typing away at a post that I couldn’t wait to upload. (To my free blog.) 

Between my obsession for self help books and learning more about both myself and what others are thinking about, I’ve learned a few things that resonated that day: 

  1. We all could do better with checking in with ourselves. If the point of doing something, going somewhere, or being with somebody are supposed to make you feel good, do yourself a favor and ask if these things actually are helping you feel good. 
  2. Guys. No one cares about you as much as you think they do. I know, I know. This is a harsh truth. But think about a job you’ve worked in the past where you had an encounter with a coworker or customer. It didn’t go well. It pissed you off. You might have thought about them all the way home, complained about them to your significant other over dinner…..and then needed to unwind. With netflix. Or wine. Or both. The point is, we reach a point where we stop caring because we care way more about ourselves. We only care about the thoughts of others because it relates to ourselves. So do yourself a favor and just let it go. 
  3. This isn’t going to fucking matter a year from now. (Or maybe even tomorrow.) If anything, your trial and tribulation from today is going to make for an incredible story down the road. Because down the road, it’ll be just like your netflix and wine night – you’re going to stop caring about it. 

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Gotta love the quotes at Next Door Chicago!

So put things into perspective. Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Realize that no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. And realize that in the grand scheme of things – this incident really, really isn’t that big of a deal. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉