The Facebook Status That was Far Too Long to Post

How am I feeling, Facebook? You know…I’m not quite sure. 

You see Facebook….

*Facebook IMMEDIATELY begins grumbling about how “most people just make a status and then leave without making a big deal out of it”

Oh Facebook….you’re cute. And you clearly don’t know me. I don’t do anything without making a big deal. And come now…I could be talking politics….

You see Facebook…

I’ve been having this rough stretch since I found myself getting sick. It was just a nagging cold, but eventually it passed. However, I kept getting lingering symptoms every time I worked out. As you’re undoubtedly aware from my plethora of selfies, you know that my workouts are important to me. For whatever reason, appearance has been a big deal to me. I grew up being a skinny guy, not really caring about how I looked. I figured, it is what it is. Having muscles? That’d be nice. But at least I’m not overweight…

You know how you have those nightmares and suddenly something is TERRIBLY wrong? You wake up and your head is half shaven, or one of your eye brows has fallen off, or half of your teeth aren’t there anymore? For me, it was waking up and suddently I’m 100 lbs heavier. (And sometimes the teeth thing.) I always had this fear about looking different than the guy whom I’m used to seeing in the mirror. I don’t know WHY I have this fear because – honestly? Whenever people I know DO gain weight, I think about it for a minute…and then go back to thinking about myself and my own “flaws.” We all do it. I know I don’t need to impress anyone. Hell, if I let lose a little more, had more fun, and didn’t pay so much darn attention to my amaaaazing nutrition….I think I’d be a little more appealing to others. I’d be more relatable for one. And I’d also be happier because I’d be loser and more confident….ahhhh confidence…

 THAT’S thing, Facebook: I’m not confident when I deviate from my nutrition plan. I notice those teeny, tiny, incremental gains in my face and stomach and it bugs the hell out of me. I can’t stand it. Does anyone else notice? Oh hell no. Please, I came back from a vacation three years ago and practically couldn’t put on my jeans (this was a first for me) and no one noticed. Those quedillas I had last night? No one is going to care. 

But I do. And I’m figuring that out. 

So I guess what I’m trying to say, Facebook, is that there’s a LOT right now I’m trying to figure out. I’m trying to figure out how to be happy. I want to be able to not be so strict with food, with goals, with money, and with life. I want to be able to fuck up and not give a damn. I want to be able to have TWO cheat nights in a row, not be able to do my “perfect” workouts, and then go on to know for 100% certain that I’ll be able to get back on track.

Sounds pretty lofty, huh? 

Lightbulb: I just realized – it’s incredibly possible. I just need to make the decision. 

Wow. What the hell did we do before you, Facebook? 

*Facebook expresses that while it actually tends to cause more people stress than happiness and wishes people would, in fact, learn to moderate its usage more* 

Ah. Fair enough. In any case….thank you. I really appreciate having a place to share all this. 

Let’s go get ‘em, yeah? (Sorry. That’s a thing I do on my blog. And in fact…that’s where I’m gonna post this, but will totally share a link I swear.) 

PS – Oh, and you know the whole showing me football scores when it’s clearly still baseball season? Like I said….you really don’t know me

Set intentions. Focus on feelings. Enjoy your holiday.

Before you start reading yet another blog thoughts and feelings during then holidays, let’s clear something up right now.

This thought of “I think differently than you, so this just won’t work for me” is bullshit. We all have a why. It’s deep. It prevents us from procrastinating and pushes us out of bed every day. It’s what stops us from hitting snooze. It’s what makes us want to go for a run even when it’s twenty degrees out. Our why makes the uncomfortable worth doing. In fact, it what makes us need to do it.

There will always be stories of how someone else got past failure and into success. When we see the interview, they share their up bringing and how it lead to their different mindset. That’s their why. It’s not yours. If you don’t relate to it, you’re not a failure. You’re just you.
With that, I want to share some thoughts that are just me. I want to share my holiday intentions.

I wrote on Thanksgiving how holidays are fun when we focus on how we want to feel. This month I’m sharing how I want to reach these feelings:

How I spend my time

My intentions are to plan and schedule ahead of time during my trip home. This includes time for others as well as myself. I prefer to spend most of my time with others, but still leave a little bit for me. Planning ahead will allow me to spend quality time with others and not leave too mmuch down time to the point where I get bored.

How I eat

My intentions are to eat good food and enjoy the holidays. It’s what they’re for 😀 They’re also for feeling happy. I’m not happy when I eat or drink too much. Planning and setting intentions beforehand will let me feel happy and avoid feeling gross, bloated or that pesky feeling one gets after finish another bottle of wine…#notperfect

Most important

The thing about intentions is that they’re a goal we’re aiming to hit. The goal is a feeling and shouldn’t be dependant on specific outcomes. There’s more than one way to achieve these feelings. Make sure you’re leaving yourself some options should your original intent be impossible to meet.

What are your intentions for the holidays? Share ’em. I wanna hear.

And as always, if you have a friend who might benefit from this, I’d love for you to give it a share.

Thank you all for reading. Have a wonderful Christmas. Go get ’em.

How Being Healthy Caused Me Extra Stress

Many of you know that I’m a health and fitness accountability coach. I started a year ago and couldn’t be more grateful. I’m helping others, plus am constantly learning about workouts and nutrition.

Prior to this, I did the whole gym thing. For some, this is exactly what they need. For me, I was guessing (and mainly guessing wrong). I knew very little about weights or cardio. I didn’t know anything about nutrition. Forget about those abs I had wanted since forever.

Fast forward to today: I workout from home. I love my body. My nutrition plan is my favorite. And I recently got abs. So like, I’m pretty sexy now.

…I mean, I don’t look like Shaun T.

Shaun T

The rest of the body though? Oh that’s so me. Particularly the facial hair…#notreally

While I’m thrilled with how far I’ve gotten, it hasn’t been an easy journey. Eating clean takes a lot of work and preparation. Getting in my workouts sometimes means waking up extra early. I also took on some harder goals: Avoiding food three hours before bed, plus saved cheat days to just once a week.

This became easy enough when I didn’t have anything going on. I quickly learned, however, this was increasingly difficult on days where I had to, like, be a real person and leave the apartment. I refused to accept this as a day of adjustments. Not getting in my “perfect Tony routine” meant failing – which led to lots of stress and frustration.

I started avoiding the outside world. I was socializing less and rarely submitted for work – the kind that was, you know, paying my bills.

Granted, I was in the best shape of my life. But I was also pretty miserable.

Poster

I most certainly could have used more of this….

There’s a rumor going around that once we reach a certain point in our careers or lifestyle that we’ll all of a sudden be happy. Unfortunately, this rumor is false. (And if you know who started it, send them to me right away…) By putting our happiness on hold, we’re likely to feel unsatisfied as we start accomplishing our goals.

Should you ever find yourself in a situation similar to mine, here’s what I recommend:

1) Make happiness a priority. I wanted abs because I learned having a body I’m proud of makes me happy. Yet I finally had abs and was very much not happy. What could you be doing as you go about your goals to keep you happy?

2) Avoid perfection. Perfection is dumb. And it doesn’t exist. What areas could you allow yourself to be a little more laid back in? Want to know another cool trick? Failure actually helps us get better.

3) Learn to appreciate the journey. It’s not always about the final destination. Sometimes there is no destination – it’s literally a lifelong road!

Keeping all this in mind, enjoy the process. Seek failure. And then call me so we can eat chocolate together. (This has been sitting in my bag since Friday….)

2015-03-11 15.57.42

Go get ‘em, friends.