That Awkward Moment You Have To Spend Lots Of Money…

I’ve had two scenarios over the past year where one of my electronic devices crapped the bed (like, where did that phrase even come from?) Both times it cost me a lot of money. Both times….I lived regardless.

Scenario #1: My phone stopped working. 

It was the day after my girlfriend and I broke up. (As if things weren’t bad enough.) My phone suddenly wouldn’t stay on for more than a few second before flickering off. So I brought it to Verizon and learned some bad news: I needed a new phone. Like, yesterday.

That was the bad news. Here was the good news: I now had an excuse to get an iphone. I love it. It’s far better than any phone I had before. I also got a free bluetooth speaker and started listening to self help books and podcasts while I biked. (And I bike a lot.) 

So a bunch of good things came from this really, really inconvenient situation.

As for the money? I put it on a credit card. Yes I’m still paying it off. But fast forward eight months and I’m so much closer to paying it off, thanks to free financial coaching at Next Door Chicago.

 

Scenario #2: I spilled water on my laptop. 

Friends…don’t do this. It’s a very, very expensive spill.

I went without a laptop for a bit. And I live on my laptop.

What I did instead? I used my phone and tablet. Not perfect, but it got the job done. OH, and I got it back IN TWO DAYS. It was expensive, but it was back as good as new in just two days….also, I didn’t lose any of my information. #win

And the money? It came out of my savings. Because I’m trying this thing where I don’t put more money on my credit card. (We’ll see how it goes…)

 

Here’s the point: There’s going to be situations where we lose something valuable or have to spend a lot of money. Or both. (Ugh.) And you’re going to be okay. You’re not dead. You’ll adjust and still move on. Parts of it will suck. But you’ll still be awesome.

Don’t let external events define you. You’re #notperfect. But you’re #stillenough.

Go get ’em, friend.

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Some cool Chicagoans decided to make a sign saying LOVE for everyone commuting on Lake Shore Drive recently! 

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Have you checked out the Tony Rossi Show podcast yet? (I heard it’s good…) 

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and podcaster living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

Oh – and I’m now on iTunes! #TonyRossiShow

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How to (Professionally) Put Yourself First

Last year, I had two experiences the really changed the way I view things:

Experience #1:

It was a shit day. And it was only 10:06 am.

My internet bill was unusually high. I had two emails informing me of projects I participated in that needed fixing. An employer was asking me to come in early. Oh, and then my bike got a flat….I wasn’t exactly feeling “authentically positive,” like I strive to be.

I got another call from the employer. They were requesting a new time change for the day.

“Oh sure! No problem.”

This wasn’t the answer I wanted to give. I don’t like changing my schedule. But I wanted this job. And I needed the money. After realizing the other things I needed to get done that day (not to mention a new thing where I had to fix my bike,) I realized this wasn’t going to work. I called back the employer, requested an alternative time, and worked out a compromise.

Experience #2

Different day.

I got a text before bed from a different employer. It said my weekend shifts had been reassigned and that I would now be working in the suburbs. Since I don’t have a car, I typically avoid these shifts. I replied back, respectfully declining the assignment. They answered with an offer to reimburse me for travel. I started to realize that not only was this a longer shift (aka – more money) but it could score me brownie points with the company.

I almost took it. But again, I remembered other responsibilities I had that day. I respectfully declined again….they offered me back my original shifts.

Putting yourself first

It’s easy to think we have to do what others want. I find this goes double when we’re younger and “working our way up” to some of our goals (particularly financial ones). We don’t want to upset or offend. We really don’t want to lose potential income. But in both these experiences, I realized that I could make double the amount of money I was currently making, but still go to bed stressed out with things like scheduling and less time on goals and personal projects.

I needed to take charge. Even if it meant earning less.

When you find yourself wanting to put yourself first – that’s okay. Remember to a) be professional, and b) be upfront with your communication. And c), realize that as you do this, you’re exercising a form of self care that will allow you to better serve others.

Go get ’em, friend.

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Lake Michigan – my other form of self care #nofilter 

***   ***   ***

Have you checked out the Tony Rossi Show podcast yet? (I heard it’s good…) 

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and podcaster living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

Oh – and I’m now on iTunes! #TonyRossiShow

3 Things I Learned While I Was Sick at Work

Forgive me, friends.

I’m sick again.

But it’s Thursday. And we blog on Thursdays.

And while I originally intended to do a re-post of an old blog – I had some insights yesterday morning that I couldn’t not share.

That said…I’m a bit delirious. So forgive my typos, paraphrasing, and part of this blog that just don’t make sense….#notperfect #okayfineidoallthatanyway

Much to my chagrin, I showed up at work today. It was a short shift and I felt bad calling off. So I hoped on the train this morning, feeling absolutely terrible, and dreading the entire (short day).

Spoiler: It wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Other spoiler: I learned a lot today. But here are my three biggest takeaways.

 

 

Trust that others will be able to figure things out – without you. 

I arrived at work to find that – despite the originally busy schedule – it was actually the opposite. It was such a low key day that I ended up having fewer responsibilities than I was supposed to have. In fact, I’ll go ahead and say that I got paid to sip coffee and basically observe for the day where I was originally supposed to be in the field. It was helpful – especially considering I’ll work more shifts like these in the future and now I’ll be better prepared.

That said, I was on the verge of calling off the night before. But to call off so late? That would be mean to them – right? They wouldn’t be able to complete their day – right?

…wrong. It would have been okay.

The next time you find yourself stressing out about putting yourself first, ask – Will they be able to figure things out? This won’t always be a resounding “yes.” But you might find yourself surprised to find the times when it is.

 

Just when you have every bit of evidence to believe that something will suck – get ready to be surprised. 

Again, this won’t apply every single time.

Yet, this has been a recurring theme for me. Getting sick and worrying I won’t recover by a certain date for a big event? I end up being fine. Or I end up pushing through better than I thought. Or sometimes I’ll be in a terrible mood on my way to a day job shift – and then I get a surprisingly nice boss for the day and get to go home early. You get the point. There are often surprises that I couldn’t possibly have planned for. So allow yourself those surprises when things look like they’re going to be terrible.

 

You’re probably doing better than you think .

As soon as I got the news at work that I was going to be observing? My headache went away….okay, not entirely. And it came back. But in that moment? I felt like the ibuprofen I took hours again had just kicked in. (And for all I know – it did.) It was like magic the way my mood just lifted. And yet, nothing changed except I got some good news that meant my day was going to be easier.

The next time you find yourself stressed – ask yourself, “What would make me the happiest right now?” Allow yourself to go there for a minute or two. Really feel it. Then notice if any of your symptoms went away. It doesn’t mean you won’t get stressed or feel sick again when you come “back to reality.” But at the very least, recognize that you’re probably doing better than you think.

I’ll admit, when I’m sick or really stressed out, it’s very hard for me to get to this positive place of recognition that I’m better than I am. Even though I’ve learned this theme time and time again, I still find it exceptionally challenging to get out of my negative funk focusing on how I’m going to feel sick/stressed/like death forever. I know it’s not true…and yet? It’s really hard in the moment. So go easy on yourself if this one doesn’t work right away.

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Love my Notes from the Universe! 

 

Alright friends. I have a lot of food to eat…..I don’t know about all you crazy folk who don’t eat when you’re sick….but me? Oh my goodness, I eat twice as much…..and please tweet me so I know I’m not alone in this…

Let’s go get ’em. (And bring some food.)

***   ***   ***

What’s that? You want to hire me for coaching?!

Or maybe give an empowerment talk to your group or school?

Email me!  tony.rossi@gmail.com. Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

Are You Being Humble? Or Just Negative?

It took me a year, but I finally did it: I accomplished my goal of booking a commercial in my hometown of Boston. I did a celebratory dance in my studio apartment…quietly, of course. I still have neighbors. And a creaky floor…

This would be the first “crazy awesome” story I’d get to take back home with me.

“Yeah! I have booked some cool projects lately…”

“Actually – you might see me in this one!”

“Hey! Remember that cool audition I told you about from last week?”

Now for the facts: This wasn’t a life changing gig. It was a non union commercial. There wouldn’t be residuals. Next thing I knew, I was sharing news to my peers in Chicago about it…with a negative twist.

In fact, I also found myself stressing out more when I learned more details about the gig and how I’d be getting to set.

What happened here?

I recently learned from Darren Hardy (free daily videos at www.darrendaily.com) that we all enjoy heightened emotions. This is why we enjoy things like roller coasters or horror films. (Unless your name is Tony Rossi – in which case, you ask your friends if they’d rather watch a gushy, feel good romantic comedy instead….) At the same time, we get attached to emotions such as stress because they too are heightened emotions.

After learning this, I realized there was a familiar pattern with a lot of my stories lately: All of my career related stories I had been telling my friends had a negative twist to them!

“Yeah, I booked a commercial….but it’s just a non union one.” 

“Yeah, I’m living in Chicago as an actor….but I also have several day jobs.”

“Yeah I got to fly home for a week…but I pretty much stayed with my parents the whole time. (Hey, shut up….I got so much free food!)

Since I learned this, I recognized that I wasn’t being humble. I wasn’t being “honest.” I was just putting a negative spin on the story in order to feed my ego and keep my body in stress mode. I don’t even want to think about what this was doing to my overall health…

So I set the intention to change things. When I checked in with my accountability partner, I told her I was going to go back home and share news with my friends in a more positive light.

And you know what? It worked.

And you know what else? It felt good!

And you really wanna know something? All those things that we think people care about – union vs non union, usage rates, and national vs local gigs….no one cares about. Except maybe you.

But that’s a story for another blog.

All this is to say you can relax and embrace your wins, without putting a “realistic” (aka negative) twist on them.

“You can’t build on success you can’t acknowledge” – Dallas Travers \

Let’s go get ‘em friends.

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And a happy belated #OneBoston day to all my friends back home 

***   ***   ***

Email me!  tony.rossi@gmail.com. Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

There IS Such Thing as “Too Much Vacation” – Here’s My Story

I feel alive.

And tired.

But mostly alive.

(And also tired.)

I just spent nine nights and eight days in the Boston area. It was wonderful.

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Got to see so many Salem State friends! That’s Blair, Chris, Jonathan, some goofball with a Red Sox tie, Nikki, and Sara. Say hi to them. 

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Oh right – we were there for a Matt and Shannon’s wedding! We got the bride a drink….

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Because it’s not really a trip home without heading to Salem 

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And not only did I get to see friends and family – but I also shot a commercial!

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I’ll share a more-focused and more detailed picture after it airs! 

 

I was actually only supposed to be there for six days. But then I got another potential opportunity to comeback: It was an audition for a shoot that would be at the end of the month.

So thanks to Southwest (seriously – love them), I changed my flight (no fees!) and stayed an extra couple days.

 

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This meant running into more friends, like Lisa, at the audition! 

 

Which clearly meant extra vacation time – yes?

Almost.

I learned toward the end of my trip that I was ready to come home to Chicago. I needed Monday to rest up after an epic weekend. And Tuesday night I wanted to go to bed early so I could rest up for the audition. So really the last two days were spent partially seeing friends, but mostly staying in and catching up on emails.

Sounds fun….right? Maybe?

Here’s where I’m weird – I love setting aside my own business hours. I love drinking coffee, listening to music (usually a playlist either a teenager girl would listen to or a musical theatre major would enjoy) and checking off boxes on my to do list. Meanwhile, I’m staying in the know about the Chicago theatre scene, making plans to network, and planning my schedule according to my goals. It feels great.

…except this time it didn’t.

You see – I had grown sick of the suburbs.

Going over business hours from the Starbucks across from Wrigley Field? Where the red line is rumbling above my head on my walk over there? I love it. I don’t go to nearly as many baseball games as I’d like to, and I prefer biking over public transportation. There’s just something about the Chicago vibe.

And it’s for that reason, tonight, where I sit typing and fighting back sleep….that I still feel alive 🙂

Different elements are going to make you feel vigorous and energetic. Others are going to make you want to take a nap and wonder how much longer til your next vacation.

I love New England. I actually even love getting a couple nights in the suburbs getting away from it all. But after that extended trip – it was time to come back and be around my much needed energizer batteries. (Bunny not included.)

Start noticing what areas YOU feel most alive. And if you already know ‘em – leave a comment on my facebook page or shoot me a tweet!

Let’s feel alive, yah?

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It’s good to be back 🙂 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

 

***   ***   ***

What’s that? You want to hire me for coaching?!

Or maybe give an empowerment talk to your group or school?

Email me!  tony.rossi@gmail.com. Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

The bitch that is social media (and how to deal with it)

Isn’t social media a bitch?

Let’s be honest – because I actually love that bitch – we all like to show our highlight reels.

There are a few times a year when I’m shouting to the roof tops how wonderful my life is on social. These times are when I visit home.

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Shoutout to my friend Heather – whom I first met in Chicago – for getting me into FENWAY FREAKING PARK! 

 

I love my Boston roots. I love seeing the people I love whom I can only see a few times a year. I love driving through curvy, hilly, roads that so much more enoyable because you’re sitting shotgun. Follow me on social and you know what to expect during these trips.

This most recent trip? No different. A 26 hour visit that surprised family – and even myself!  It taught me a lot regarding how to best take advantage of the little time you do have on trips like these. In a future post, I’ll share more about that.

Truth be told, I hit a really, really low moment during this most recent trip. And I think it’s worth talking about for those who think I have my shit together during times like this – or at all.

The #notperfect morning

This is the part where I tell you I’ve been paranoid about being sick lately….because I keep getting sick. And that morning I woke up with a sore throat…

I was sick. Again. On vacation. After just having a cold on my last vacation.

The #notperfect process

“Maybe it’s just allergies,” I thought.

I attempted my morning workout….

“NOPE. Not allergies. I’m sick and this is terrible.” And because this had been a recurring theme for me, I wasn’t just upset. I was PISSED. I was frustrated. I was….honestly, a little hopeless. I had a breakdown of tears before my shower. And during my shower. A few more after. I felt broken.

The ultimate negative chatter

Now, I always hear those negative voices in my head telling me I’m not enough. But this time – I was the negative chatter. I was telling every one of my imaginary nice voices to STFU. I didn’t want any positive motivation. I was pissed. Nothing was going to help. I kept thinking….

I don’t care if there’s a lesson in this.

I’m F-ing sick of lessons through setbacks.

I don’t care if this is something I’ll appreciate five years from now

I don’t care that others have it worse than me (even though I know it’s true)

I don’t want to “just be positive”

I’m mad and I’m going to stay that way.

I don’t want to know “that it’s all going to be okay”

Okay fine. I did know deep down that everything was going to be alright. I just didn’t know when. When you don’t have a timeline – it sucks. When you keep having repeating patterns show up in a really short time frame – it really sucks. When you keep having that repeating pattern show up in a short time frame and it keeps showing up during your vacation? Don’t even get me started……

And then….

It was over.

No seriously. The pain was over.

Sure, my throat was still dry. But after taking some ibuprofen? I was literally fine. That headache I felt? Gone a few minutes later. Next thing I knew, I was having lunch with my Dad in his office, meeting his coworkers, and enjoying the largest salad that I’ve ever had. (I might have added a few extra pieces of chicken knowing that Dad was paying…)

The thing was – I wasn’t actually sick!

Now allergies, on the other hand…..that’s a different story. But I wasn’t low in energy. I wasn’t aching all over. And when I ended up going for a long walk in Boston later? I was FINE.

I had freaked out for nothing.

The point?

The point is I didn’t talk about this at all on social media.

Last my friends saw – I was a happy freaking camper using #BostonYoureMyHome hashtags left and right.

I don’t like dumping dirty laundry on social media….

 

Example: Screaming baby on my flight back?! FML….

The truth: You’re on vacation. You’re on a freaking airplane. You’re fine.

 

Example: I JUST GOT TOWED! WTF?!

The truth: You’re about to go through an inconvenient couple of days. You’ll pay a fee. And then – you’ll be fine. In fact, a year from now – you’ll be laughing at this. You’re fine.

 

Example: Why are people so annoying?

The truth:  You are so annoying…..and you’re not fine….)

(Sorry. That last one was just for me. And I’ve been that annoying person, so I’ll stop talking….)

While I don’t love dumping dirty laundry onto others, I also believe in being honest. But when it comes to my health – I’m more private these days. I learned that posting about so much as a head cold can result in your peers thinking you only have three weeks to live…..long story short, I’ve become more quiet about certain things like this.

Again – the point???

The point is don’t believe everything you see.

The point is don’t believe that those awesome, happy, successful people are like that all the time.

Just because someone is happy in one area of their life doesn’t mean they’re happy in all areas.

Just because someone is in love doesn’t mean they’re fulfilled socially.

Just because someone has landed their dream job doesn’t mean they have their finances in order.

Just because someone has a plethora of friends doesn’t mean they’re happy romantically.

Just because your mentors are the “smartest people in the world” doesn’t mean they have all their shit together…..

This isn’t to discourage you. This is to remind you that you’re not alone.

The pros that you emulate? They struggle too.

Guys. We’re all in this together. We’re all part of the huge traffic jam that you see everyday after work. We’re all the people who can be laughing hysterically one minute and crying profusely the next. And we’re people who can flip our emotions in an instant – for better or worse.

You’re not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s okay to not feel okay all the time.

You are enough. Especially if you have flaws and quirks.

Let’s go get ‘em, my friends.

 

***   ***   ***

Got questions? Want to me to give an empowerment talk to your group or school? Email me: tony.rossi@gmail.com. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

What Harry Potter Taught Me About Myself

I used to think I was going to be a Harry Potter when I grew up.

I was eleven. I was a skinny guy with glasses. It wouldn’t be long before they would announce that the Harry Potter series would be turned into a movie series. As someone who was eager to fit in with the popular kids and maybe get some female attention for a change, I made the decision: I was going to be cast as Harry Potter. 

Note: I had zero acting experience. I am not British. Don’t bother asking me how I planned on getting an audition. (Without a passport.) 

Many of us go through phases as we grow older. Our passions, goals, and hobbies change. Which makes those one or two (or five) things that we continuously love even more special. 

I have always loved baseball. My passion for baseball never left. And it was because of my passion for baseball that I found myself hanging out with the techies within the theatre department during my sophomore year. Previously I had always been hanging out with the actors. Since learning about how much they loved baseball, I realized that they shared the same passion for the game as I did. We hung out, watched games, drank beer, and caught Red Sox games together. I had found my crowd. 

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2008 Playoffs. The Red Sox were down. Unfortunately those rally caps didn’t work. 

Today, I live in Chicago. There’s no shortage of Cub fan stories that you can find. Some of which will probably move you to tears. Which is why I believe that baseball is truly a special game. And is much more than just a game, regardless of your team affiliation. 

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I encourage everyone living in Chicago and surrounding areas to take a closer look at those around you during the month of April. Are your friends smiling more? Are your coworkers approaching their (non baseball) work with an extra zing? I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s baseball season. It’s a special time of year. 

Finding those things we’re passionate about makes life a whole lot more fun. 

Don’t downplay those passions, friends. You’re robbing others of your joy. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

How to Better Your Negative Situation

So I wrote this post two years ago. It really resonates with me this week. …

This is for anyone in a dark situation. We’ll call it a tunnel.

Dark Tunnel

When we’re in the tunnel, we can’t always see the other side. This happens when we’re looking for work, short on money, or in an unpleasant living environment. As more and more negatives start to pile on, we tend do a couple of things:

We focus on more negatives: It’s the easy and comfortable thing to do. Yet it tends to make our situation worse, not better.

We seek out instant gratification: While having a short break is sometimes necessary, it’s important we don’t stay there too long. Many of us go on this break, then stay there. This is nothing more than just an extended vacation in our dark tunnel. Unless we start making an effort to get out, we’re just setting ourselves up to be unhappy in the long run.

So how do we get out?

After you’ve taken your (short) break to ease your mind, here are a few steps I recommend:

1) Accept responsibility for your circumstances

The easy thing to do is to play the victim mentality and blame someone or something other than ourselves. Regardless of any crazy and unexpected circumstances that may have occurred, it’s important to realize that you are the reason for where you are today. Accept responsibility for what’s happened. Don’t kick yourself. Just stop making excuses and blaming others. Once you own up to your situation, you’ll realize you have the power to change things and get yourself back on track.

2) Make an action plan

This is going to vary based on what’s going on. Keep in mind you might be digging yourself out of a deep hole. This could take time. Don’t worry about making it perfect. If you do, you’ll just keep putting it off. Just start. You can try starting from the finish line and then working backwards if that helps. Just make sure it gives you some specific steps to get to your final destination.

If necessary, ask a friend for help. Or hire someone . Whatever you do, do not blame them if they are unresponsive or unavailable. Doing this releases our power to control our circumstances. The goal is to get out. The more we blame, the longer we’re stuck in the tunnel.

3) Stay consistent

It’s easy to belittle those tiny steps starting out, such as making an action plan. “What difference does it make? I’ll still be in my same situation tomorrow.” Making the plan actually puts you further ahead than you think. It ignites a flame of hope. Hope is a very powerful tool. It’s contagious and will reveal both confidence and answers – which are hard to see when it’s dark out.

This only works if you’re consistent. If you’re not, you won’t see any progress. Then you’ll really get frustrated and want to quit. Which keeps us in the tunnel. We don’t want that.

As you go about this, keep finding ways for to keep yourself motivated and sane. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into that extended vacation in instant gratification land. You need to be prepped and ready to go as soon as the break is over.

If you’re in that tunnel now, get up off the couch.  Make that plan right. Then….relax. You’ve just taken your first step. You can sleep tonight knowing that you took a moved forward towards the other end of the tunnel.

Light Tunnel

Best part: Doing this helps the tunnel seem a little bit brighter.

Go get ’em.

How dating reminded me of my (embarrassing) past

Last week my longtime friend, Sammy B, married a wonderful girl named Ashley. 

 

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It was a fun night filled with food, dancing, and a bunch of wonderful people I don’t get to see nearly as often as I like. Our group of friends growing up was a good one. It warms my heart that most of us are still in touch. 

Since we don’t see each other often, we go through the usual interrogation process when we catch up…. 

 

“So, still living in the same place?”

“Where are you working these days?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

 

That last one has always been my favorite. (And by favorite, I mean least favorite.) 

I usually was the single one in our group of friends, and that didn’t change as I got older. I watched in envy as the rest of my friends fell in love, went on dates, and had lots of sex. (Seriously. I wasn’t even cuddling with anyone. It was so unfair.) Which is why I was thrilled to report to them that, “Yup! I am seeing someone! Wanna see a picture?!” 

Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t discovered any “secrets to dating.” But the whole night made me discover something: I used to be pretty unhappy with myself because of my dating story. And that night – none of it mattered. Hell, some of my friends I used to envy were currently single themselves!  

We waste far too much time and energy beating ourselves up, don’t we? 

 

We aren’t making a certain amount of money.

We aren’t married with kids. 

We haven’t reached a certain point in our careers where our dream job is paying the bills. 

 

But here’s the thing: Unless we’ve reached a point where it’s literally impossible to achieve our goals (Too old to have kids, etc), we can still get there. It just might take longer than we hoped….Oh, and it usually does. And the deadlines we place on ourselves are so unfair and silly. But that’s for another blog.

And here’s the best part – once we get there, that “embarrassing” past – which is really nothing to be ashamed of in the first place – isn’t going to matter. The point isn’t that you took longer than you thought. The point is that you got there. 

Friends. I have no idea when I’ll get married. All I know is that I will someday. (Not sure about the kids part….but if I do, we can cut go back and edit this part out, yeah?) And as long as that happens, I don’t need to be embarrassed about things that did or didn’t happen before getting there. 

 

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We clean up alright 🙂 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

3 Questions to Ask to Stop Yourself From Worrying

My name is Tony Rossi. And I’m a worry-holic.

 

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Must have been why they gave me the “Are you Robert Pattinson” scene during Waltzing Mechanics XI Edition of “El Stories”

I love the book, “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendrix. There’s a section where he talks about how we get addicted to worrying and how quickly we go into scenario of “The Universe will not function if I don’t worry about this.” I realized I’m very good at worrying myself.

While I’m still working on this, I’ve been able to help some of my friends who are worry-holics themselves. Here are three questions I often ask:

1) What is the worst case scenario here?

Sometimes we find ourselves worrying without even wondering what the repercussions are! Try to figure out what those are now with this question. You may find you’re stressing about something very mundane that doesn’t deserve as much energy as you’re giving it.

Now let’s say this is a serious issue that needs to be address. What is the very worst thing that can happen? Is it as bad as you’re picturing it to be? Is the universe going to end? Is anyone going to die? Even with those situations where someone is depending on us for something we can no longer deliver on, the repercussions often aren’t as bad as we make them out to be in our heads – which sometimes is that worst case scenario J

2) Do I have any control over this?

Do you ever find you’re worrying about the following….

-Public transportation running late

-Traffic

-The weather

-Something bad happening in the world

We love to complain, stress over, and vent about those four topics. Sometimes we realize we have no control over them and think that worrying will help us somehow rectify the situation. As a worry-holic, I can tell you this doesn’t help. If anything, it will drain our mental batteries, cause us to break down, and swear a lot in our apartment. I’m sure my neighbors have plenty of nicknames for me…

I’m always hearing complaints and negativity around these things specifically. Keep in mind that if you choose to worry over them – chances are you can’t do anything about it. If you can – great! But if not? You’re wasting a lot of energy that’s going to drain you. And I’m guessing you want that.

Sometimes it helps realizing we worry because we care. We don’t want to hold others up. We don’t want to see ourselves in future pain. And we don’t want to see others in pain. Great! We’re awesome people! Now let’s keep being awesome by saving up that energy – we’re busy! We need it.

3) If the worst case scenario happens, will I be able to bounce back from this?

This is where I like to play the “Will this matter in five years?” game. Yes, if I’m late and I lose my job it would be very inconvenient. But will I find another one or find a solution to keep me from going homeless in the meantime?  Yes I will. In this case, stop worrying exactly about the HOW and focus on the fact that you WILL make it work.

Finally, when you DO catch yourself worrying again remember this: It’s okay. You’re okay. And you’re not worrying because you’re a bad person. You’re worrying because you’re human.

Which of these three resonate with you the most? I’d love to hear in the comments below.

(Have a friend who worries? Feel free to share or invite them to the blog 🙂 )

Let’s be awesome this week.

Go get ’em.

(Look familiar? This post was written one year ago! Feel free to browse below for previous posts)

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe!