That Awkward Moment You Have To Spend Lots Of Money…

I’ve had two scenarios over the past year where one of my electronic devices crapped the bed (like, where did that phrase even come from?) Both times it cost me a lot of money. Both times….I lived regardless.

Scenario #1: My phone stopped working. 

It was the day after my girlfriend and I broke up. (As if things weren’t bad enough.) My phone suddenly wouldn’t stay on for more than a few second before flickering off. So I brought it to Verizon and learned some bad news: I needed a new phone. Like, yesterday.

That was the bad news. Here was the good news: I now had an excuse to get an iphone. I love it. It’s far better than any phone I had before. I also got a free bluetooth speaker and started listening to self help books and podcasts while I biked. (And I bike a lot.) 

So a bunch of good things came from this really, really inconvenient situation.

As for the money? I put it on a credit card. Yes I’m still paying it off. But fast forward eight months and I’m so much closer to paying it off, thanks to free financial coaching at Next Door Chicago.

 

Scenario #2: I spilled water on my laptop. 

Friends…don’t do this. It’s a very, very expensive spill.

I went without a laptop for a bit. And I live on my laptop.

What I did instead? I used my phone and tablet. Not perfect, but it got the job done. OH, and I got it back IN TWO DAYS. It was expensive, but it was back as good as new in just two days….also, I didn’t lose any of my information. #win

And the money? It came out of my savings. Because I’m trying this thing where I don’t put more money on my credit card. (We’ll see how it goes…)

 

Here’s the point: There’s going to be situations where we lose something valuable or have to spend a lot of money. Or both. (Ugh.) And you’re going to be okay. You’re not dead. You’ll adjust and still move on. Parts of it will suck. But you’ll still be awesome.

Don’t let external events define you. You’re #notperfect. But you’re #stillenough.

Go get ’em, friend.

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Some cool Chicagoans decided to make a sign saying LOVE for everyone commuting on Lake Shore Drive recently! 

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Have you checked out the Tony Rossi Show podcast yet? (I heard it’s good…) 

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and podcaster living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

Oh – and I’m now on iTunes! #TonyRossiShow

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Are You Being Humble? Or Just Negative?

It took me a year, but I finally did it: I accomplished my goal of booking a commercial in my hometown of Boston. I did a celebratory dance in my studio apartment…quietly, of course. I still have neighbors. And a creaky floor…

This would be the first “crazy awesome” story I’d get to take back home with me.

“Yeah! I have booked some cool projects lately…”

“Actually – you might see me in this one!”

“Hey! Remember that cool audition I told you about from last week?”

Now for the facts: This wasn’t a life changing gig. It was a non union commercial. There wouldn’t be residuals. Next thing I knew, I was sharing news to my peers in Chicago about it…with a negative twist.

In fact, I also found myself stressing out more when I learned more details about the gig and how I’d be getting to set.

What happened here?

I recently learned from Darren Hardy (free daily videos at www.darrendaily.com) that we all enjoy heightened emotions. This is why we enjoy things like roller coasters or horror films. (Unless your name is Tony Rossi – in which case, you ask your friends if they’d rather watch a gushy, feel good romantic comedy instead….) At the same time, we get attached to emotions such as stress because they too are heightened emotions.

After learning this, I realized there was a familiar pattern with a lot of my stories lately: All of my career related stories I had been telling my friends had a negative twist to them!

“Yeah, I booked a commercial….but it’s just a non union one.” 

“Yeah, I’m living in Chicago as an actor….but I also have several day jobs.”

“Yeah I got to fly home for a week…but I pretty much stayed with my parents the whole time. (Hey, shut up….I got so much free food!)

Since I learned this, I recognized that I wasn’t being humble. I wasn’t being “honest.” I was just putting a negative spin on the story in order to feed my ego and keep my body in stress mode. I don’t even want to think about what this was doing to my overall health…

So I set the intention to change things. When I checked in with my accountability partner, I told her I was going to go back home and share news with my friends in a more positive light.

And you know what? It worked.

And you know what else? It felt good!

And you really wanna know something? All those things that we think people care about – union vs non union, usage rates, and national vs local gigs….no one cares about. Except maybe you.

But that’s a story for another blog.

All this is to say you can relax and embrace your wins, without putting a “realistic” (aka negative) twist on them.

“You can’t build on success you can’t acknowledge” – Dallas Travers \

Let’s go get ‘em friends.

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And a happy belated #OneBoston day to all my friends back home 

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Email me!  tony.rossi@gmail.com. Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

There IS Such Thing as “Too Much Vacation” – Here’s My Story

I feel alive.

And tired.

But mostly alive.

(And also tired.)

I just spent nine nights and eight days in the Boston area. It was wonderful.

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Got to see so many Salem State friends! That’s Blair, Chris, Jonathan, some goofball with a Red Sox tie, Nikki, and Sara. Say hi to them. 

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Oh right – we were there for a Matt and Shannon’s wedding! We got the bride a drink….

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Because it’s not really a trip home without heading to Salem 

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And not only did I get to see friends and family – but I also shot a commercial!

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I’ll share a more-focused and more detailed picture after it airs! 

 

I was actually only supposed to be there for six days. But then I got another potential opportunity to comeback: It was an audition for a shoot that would be at the end of the month.

So thanks to Southwest (seriously – love them), I changed my flight (no fees!) and stayed an extra couple days.

 

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This meant running into more friends, like Lisa, at the audition! 

 

Which clearly meant extra vacation time – yes?

Almost.

I learned toward the end of my trip that I was ready to come home to Chicago. I needed Monday to rest up after an epic weekend. And Tuesday night I wanted to go to bed early so I could rest up for the audition. So really the last two days were spent partially seeing friends, but mostly staying in and catching up on emails.

Sounds fun….right? Maybe?

Here’s where I’m weird – I love setting aside my own business hours. I love drinking coffee, listening to music (usually a playlist either a teenager girl would listen to or a musical theatre major would enjoy) and checking off boxes on my to do list. Meanwhile, I’m staying in the know about the Chicago theatre scene, making plans to network, and planning my schedule according to my goals. It feels great.

…except this time it didn’t.

You see – I had grown sick of the suburbs.

Going over business hours from the Starbucks across from Wrigley Field? Where the red line is rumbling above my head on my walk over there? I love it. I don’t go to nearly as many baseball games as I’d like to, and I prefer biking over public transportation. There’s just something about the Chicago vibe.

And it’s for that reason, tonight, where I sit typing and fighting back sleep….that I still feel alive 🙂

Different elements are going to make you feel vigorous and energetic. Others are going to make you want to take a nap and wonder how much longer til your next vacation.

I love New England. I actually even love getting a couple nights in the suburbs getting away from it all. But after that extended trip – it was time to come back and be around my much needed energizer batteries. (Bunny not included.)

Start noticing what areas YOU feel most alive. And if you already know ‘em – leave a comment on my facebook page or shoot me a tweet!

Let’s feel alive, yah?

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It’s good to be back 🙂 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

 

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What’s that? You want to hire me for coaching?!

Or maybe give an empowerment talk to your group or school?

Email me!  tony.rossi@gmail.com. Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

I started the day with an ugly cry. Here’s how it ended

Ever gotten sick when it’s a really, really inconvenient time to get sick?

…I did. This week.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that this has been a common theme for me lately. Being sick is my “happiness kryptonite.” And when it just keeps happening, it’s easy to get more and more frustrated.

This week, however, was a really bad week to get sick. I was going to be working long days, early mornings, and only had one day off amongst it all. To top it all off, I had woken up on day two of said sickness and barely slept all night. 

I’d say “insert grumpy Tony here,” but that wouldn’t even cut it. I was frustrated, sad, angry, and all of the negative emotions all at once. I even had the thought, “What if I just called off today? I know it’s the busiest day for me to do that, and I’d probably lose this job, but I really don’t think I can handle this…..”

The following #SundayVideo, which I do every week on Facebook, shares how I felt by the end of that day. (It’s about three minutes!)

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(I might have spent the first 20 seconds talking about the ridiculously high ceilings….Click the screenshot to watch!) 

This isn’t to say you’re going to experience the same thing after having a shit morning. It’s to say that sometimes things work out for the better when there’s no evidence to support it.

Hang in there if you’re going through a struggle of your own. Embrace that it’s okay to not have it figured out. You’ll be okay – even if it’s not that day.

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

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Want to me to give an empowerment talk to your group or school? Email me! tony.rossi@gmail.com. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

This year sucked so far….until it didn’t anymore (How things flipped in 24 hours)

“I’m over 2018.”

Drink if you’ve said or hear that so far this year. (Preferably something caffeinated. Not alcoholic. C’mon guys, it’s morning….)

While I think we give too much attention and energy to a calendar date in order to justify our feelings of a “shitty time” or “season of suck,” I certainly was not off to a good start this year. Between Christmas and now, I’ve caught three colds. I also banged up my rib cage which is causing a plethora of discomfort and preventing me from doing my favorite workouts. (Shut up. I like working out…) And sleep? Ha! Let’s not talk about that right now….#sleepproblems

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Thankfully my new memory foam mattress toper is helping….Beaker, not so much. 

 

So last Saturday, as I was finishing up some work prior to a dreaded day job shift, I got a missed call. And a voicemail. And a text. (When you have all three, you know it’s important.) Turns out it was my stage manager. And I was going on for the role I was understudying. In six hours.

Say whaaaaaat?!

By Sunday night, I had gotten to perform twice at one of my favorite theatres, stayed up wayyy past my bed time (at the same said theatre), and got an outpour of love on social media from my peers when they heard the news.

Suddenly I was saying, “Wow, it’s been a really good year so far!”

….wait a minute.

Didn’t I just say that it had been a crappy year so far?

Yes, the health setbacks were frustrating. But I was feeling perfectly fine and healthy for my performances. And now that I can list “performed” on my resume, not to mention the cool updates I get to share with agents and casting directors?! Woo-hoo! Suddenly I felt very abundant.

All this is to say is that you never know when things can change unexpected. This also can go reverse. While this isn’t a reason to “wait for the other shoe to drop” when things are going well, it is a reason to be grateful for the good things as they come.

So, my friend, if you’re going through a struggle right now – I hear you. I really hear you. In fact, despite this awesome weekend, I still have some things to figure out. (Like making up for the hours I lost at the day job this weekend…..#actorproblems). Just know that I’m rooting for you in the meantime. And please for the love of god, don’t hole yourself up in your apartment and play the “woe is me” game. Instead, feel your feelings and reach out and talk to someone. If you’re into therapy (and I am) – perfect. But if not, an empathetic friend who won’t condescend you will do the trick.

Let’s all go get ‘em, this year, friends.

 

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“Hinter” runs at Steep Theatre until March 17th! 

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Got questions? Want to me to give an empowerment talk to your group or school? Email me: tony.rossi@gmail.com. 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on instagram, YouTube, or check out my actor website

 

How to stay sane after your favorite team just lost (Diehards Only)

How does one stay sane after your favorite team – the one you just poured time, legit money, and far too much energy into – gets eliminated?

Let’s face it: You’re hurting. You’re not a casual fan. You’re a die hard. And now you have to face the inevitable pain that comes from your favorite team losing: Jokes from your friends who were rooting for the other team. Jokes on social media about how terrible your team is. The plethora of rants from friends who label themselves experts (“IF WE HAD JUST HANDED THE BALL OFF MORE DURING THE 2ND AND 3RD QUARTER PLUS INSERTED THAT GUY INSTEAD OF THIS GUY….) And heaven forbid you support – *ahem* – a team that’s vastly disliked by the majority of people….

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Lisa and I were a little happier a few weeks ago…..

There’s good news and bad news: The good news is that something new and shiny is going to get the attention of everyone on social media in a week or two, and this will all just be a bad dream. The bad news is you still have to get through these two weeks.

And for some of us – who live, eat, breath, and sleep our sports team – this is no joking matter. And yet there are some who treat it is such. *Sigh*

To help prepare, here are a few responses from others you’re likely to hear regarding the outcome of the game. You’re likely going to find these are well intentioned and lovely people – but they just don’t get it like you do. You’re a die hard. (And you’re awesome for it.) Read on, die hard. Read on.

 

“Your team has won SO MUCH. Don’t the other guys deserve a chance?”

This is usually said by the nonchalant sports fan, or your friend whom you bond with over other things (movies, career things, etc). But sports? Not so much. These friends will likely shout something like, “Kick a field goal!” during a baseball game in exchange for laughs. Regardless, they mean well. They just don’t grasp the depth of the situation.

Simply share the following situation to your friend: It’s like having a child who is competing in the spelling bee. If your child is a repeat champion and is going for three in a row, you’re still not about to root against your child and pull for Freddy, because “Freddy has never won before and deserves it.” Of course you’ll be happy for Freddy if he wins. But are you rooting for him? No, you silly goose, you’re rooting for your child! Otherwise, what kind of parent are you?! The true die hard will never root against their team. You know this. And that’s what matters.

 

“That’s okay that we lost! It’s almost (season of an entirely different sport)!”

This is likely being shared by an optimist. I’m an optimist and am sure I’ve been guilty of this one. But there’s a difference between being positive and pretending not to feel negative. This is often said as someone doesn’t want to feel negative. Perhaps this has been said by someone who likes the other sport in question more than the game that just happened. But a true die hard won’t accept this.

Case and point: I’m an avid biker. My bike is like my baby. If something happens to it – I’m not happy. Recently I was riding my bike to the theatre along with my new, nifty, iPhone 7 in my pocket. I was feeling pretty great until I returned to my bike to find that someone stole my wheel. I was livid. At no point did anyone say to me, “Well that’s okay about your bike – you have that new iPhone, right?” No. Because while I love my new iPhone, I also love my bike. My bike was what needed my attention in that moment.

Your team needs you and it needs you now. Numbing the pain by focusing on something else is a disservice to the team you just poured your heat and soul into all season. Don’t worry, other sport. We’ll get to you in a minute.

 

“I don’t care we lost. At least my team MADE IT this far….”

Oh, honey…..

Again, this can often fall into the “pretending to be happier than I actually am” category. It’s also an easy defense mechanism to ward off fans of teams who are taunting you, but didn’t make it that far.

This person is trying so hard, and you love them for it. But it’s not the time for celebrating – at least not yet. It’s like that person you see posting on instagram about all their success!….when you know that really, this person is also struggling financially and with their relationships. (On a serious note – give love to these people because they definitely need it from us.)

Back to sports: There most certainly will be a time for celebrating (because yes – your team did advance this far and that is awesome), the die hard knows this isn’t the time for that. There is a time for mourning and that time period follows the loss. Mourning periods are different for everyone, and there’s nothing to be ashamed about. Simply take your time to reflect on the loss, and celebrate on your team’s accomplishments when you’re ready.

 

“Who cares? I mean, it’s just a game….”

Walk away. There’s no need to participate in this conversation.

Final thoughts: This post was a bit sillier than usual 🙂 I wrote it because I love sports. I love the passion that gets poured into a team. And while I hate losing, there’s something oddly therapeutic about allowing myself to feel sad after a loss. While I don’t let it get to me like I used to, I definitely need my mourning period.

I hope this helps you with your own, fellow die hard. Feel free to share with your teammates – when they’re ready, of course.

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

Let’s go get ‘em.

Well…this is awkward….

…I didn’t write a new post for this week.

Fortunately there’s a post I wrote last November that really resonates with me this week – “How to stay positive (and sane) when you’re sick. Again.”

….yup 🙂

See y’all next week!

What happened: Woke up with a dry throat. Woke up feeling like I barely slept, despite getting extra sleep that night. Woke up realizing, “Oh dear. I might be sick. (Again.)”

Despite this, I didn’t deter from my morning routine, complete with meditation and exercise. I’d keep an eye on whether or not I still felt dehydrated throughout my workout. If I felt like I was still dehydrated despite having chugged a bunch of water – I’d have my answer. 

What happened next: I got my answer. (It wasn’t what I wanted.) 

What usually happens then: I get angry. I throw a pity party, wondering things like “Why me?” and “How the hell am I supposed to get through the next few days?” 

What happened instead: “Ah. Damn. That’s not what I wanted…..Alright then.” 

Why: Because the combination of meditation and personal development books make you a superhuman….or at least a more positive one.

 

The book I’ve been reading is“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.  With meditation, a common practice is to simply notice thoughts as they come and go. What we tend to do, as Eckhart shares, is that we create an identity with the thought. Then the ego takes control, and all hell breaks lose. While I didn’t want to be sick this week, I also didn’t want to fall into my usual pattern of “This is awful and nothing will ever be okay!” Because…well, that’s not true, is it? 

I stopped trying to predict the future. I avoided worrying about whether or not I’d still be sick by the end of the week, where I knew I was going to be really busy. I just focused on acknowledging my thoughts. I knew my fears were there. But I figured if I’m going to be sick, I might as well take something away from this crappy situation. 

Besides…..

I’m never sick for longer than a week 

I didn’t have any big parties or fun events I was going to have to “power through”

I was so glad I wasn’t sick on Thanksgiving! 

A couple of weeks from now – everything will be okay and this will just be another blip on the radar.

Let’s put this into practical thinking: Right now I’m able to look at this from an empowering perspective. But what about when I’m sick, I’m at work, a customer is really bothering me, and I have a few other things on the agenda that day….how will I view things then? Will I still be “Mr. Positive” and be able to stay present and optimistic?? 

At the time of writing this, I’m just starting to feel the initial stages of the sickness. It’s at this point where I tend to think, “Oh, this isn’t that bad…” and then by either tonight or tomorrow morning, I’ll be like, “NOOOOPE THIS IS TERRIBLE!” So all this is to say that it’s much easier for me to view my situation from a positive place today. Tomorrow and the day after? I can’t say for certain, but there’s a good chance I won’t be all smiles and sunshine. 

If you’re someone looking to start embracing this attitude, but have those normal doubts of “What happens when _____ happens and I stop being happy?” I get it. I’m right there with you. I also think this is a great time to take another page out of “The Power of Now” and get present and work on just noticing the thoughts as they come. I personally love how Eckhart views the future. Paraphrased, he says, “You cannot cope with future fear because it doesn’t exist. Instead, tune into the present moment. That’s all we ever have to cope with.” 

I’m still working on this myself, but I’ll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, let me know if this has helped you: What’s an area of your life where you can apply this? Have you applied this before? Leave a comment below or shoot me a tweet and let me know. 

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When all else fails, get some of Grandpa’s honey that he helps make himself with a nice guy named Chuck. It’s good stuff!  

Have a great (and healthy) week, my friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

It caught me out of nowhere

All of a sudden I was in a shit mood. I figured it was one of those “we’ll always have shit days” type of thing.

Until I reflected. I was shocked at what I discovered.

 

What happened: I had started my day off the usual way: Exercise, personal development, Starbucks morning. All signs pointed to a good started

What happened next: I had an incredibly unproductive work session. Lots of negative chatter. Suddenly I was focused on everything that was going wrong, and doing my work from that place of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not there yet,” “I’m a failure….”

The rest of the day: Not good….(shocker) 

Fast forward to the next day. I was well rested. I was in a better mood. Sleep has a funny way of making you feel better, doesn’t it?

I now had a bunch of new perspectives. Not only was I looking my situation from a fresh perspective, but I was relistening to my book (“High Performance Habits” – Brendan Burchard) with a new perspective too.

What happened next:

-I literally did the same routine. Relistened to the chapters I had listened to the day before, as per my practice….but now I heard the words in a different light. (Hence why I do this.)

-Yesterday it was new information. It was a spotlight on all the things I’ve been doing wrong, as well as things that are missing in my life. Personal development tends to do this – create awareness. Yet that day in particular, it was a BIG learning moment of a lot of things I was doing wrong. But it happened so gradually in this book that I didn’t realize it was the cause of what started a negative loop hole.

Now I can look at this information completely different. “OH. Yeah that was the part when I realized that I’m working a lot, but achieving little. No wonder I was so upset…” It made me remember that the fact that I’m not earning enough money is really holding me back. Which then, in turn, made me really upset when I went to Starbucks and started applying for jobs online….

Personal development is a wonderful tool to help you notice the trouble areas. It’s kind of like lights in your car indicating you need to check your engine. It’s GOOD to know about this information. However, if every time that light went off, you started to focus on how much of a failure you are for not keeping better care of your car, these signals could do a number on your self esteem.

The biggest take away I got that morning was that the whole point I was READING this book was to become better. Getting better doesn’t happen just by listening to the chapter. It doesn’t happen by even completing the exercise – although you should and it’s a great start. It happens when you FINISH the book, COMPLETE the exercises, and then….read it again. Keep applying and deepening these principles into your brain.

And remember that you’re awesome just for starting. A lot of people won’t even do that.

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In case you or your talent friends need a positive and quirky guy at your office….

Let’s go get ‘em.

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Tony News! 

I just held my first ever “Empowered Actor” worshop at Next Door Chicago!

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Markell, Olivia, and Rebekah were SO MUCH FUN to have! 

I’m helping actors feel more confident, discover their self worth, and remember to have fun along the way to that “booking more work” thing.

Know someone who could benefit from this? Email me at tony.rossi@gmail.com

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

A More Empowering Way to View a Loss

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. 

It’s Thursday. I always post every Thursday. Given my relationship with November 23rd, I wanted to wait and share this not-so-happy”post until tomorrow. But I feel it’s a message that will help those who need to hear it today. So forgive me for sharing this today, if you found this and don’t happen to know Dave or Andy. That said, you can always save this for tomorrow. In fact, I encourage you to do this with “important articles” on the wellbeing of the world, how to handle grief and sadness, and read it during a time where you’re more ready to “feel all the feels” 🙂 

 

 

Hi friends. It’s Tony Rossi. 

I wanted to wait to share this message after the holiday, as to not bring others down who don’t know either of these individuals. But due to recent events, this can’t wait. Thanks in advance for bearing with me.

(PS – Feel free to mark this as a “saved” post and come back to it during a better time, if you’d like. Same goes for political posts, news stories, etc….;) ) 

About four years ago, I was introduced to the world of personal development. Through a life coach, self help books, and more positive people, I felt like I was moving through the world a lot lighter. I was able to look at my problems through a different lens. They were still there, but it wasn’t the end of the world. Or when I did go into a funk, I’d stop beating myself up. I also noticed I wasn’t holding grudges toward people who had “wronged” me. And it wasn’t long before I got addicted to absorbing as much information on the subject as I could.

Since learning how to literally live a more enjoyable life, I decided, “You know what? Other people need to hear this. It’s too easy to apply this stuff. Through my blog, #SundayVideos, and doing a 180 on how I use social media, people started to referring to me as “the guy who is always happy.” And as much as I loved this, I found myself getting the same objection from a lot of individuals: “This doesn’t make sense….how are you supposed to just be ‘happy all the time?’”

I’ll get back to that. 

Let’s rewind a bit: In the fall of 2014, only a year after I started applying self help principles, my longest childhood friend, David Kendricken, passed away. The first thing I thought of was, What “good things” are going to come from this, that wouldn’t have happened in any other way?? This doesn’t make the situation okay. But it gives us our power back. It gives us meaning to something that’s shitty. It allows us to find love and gratitude in a place that’s really, really hard to find it. 

Last night I got word that this day was going to be an even darker day. We lost Andrew Scannell. And the craziest part? Both of these guys were FUNNY. They were really funny. They were loved by a lot. These two would have been great friends. 

Friends. Being a happy person will never, ever mean “happy all the time.” 

Being a happy person means being authentic. It means acknowledging that there are going to be dark times where you don’t feel happy. It’s like being a healthy person – it doesn’t mean you never, ever get sick. It means you get sick less and recover quicker. You’re not all of a sudden invincible. 

While there’s a bunch of different ways to handle death, one of my preferences is to look at the situation in a new light: What can I genuinely be grateful for right now? 

I go write a million more words on this, but I’ll leave just one on each of these sons of bitches: 

David Kendricken: You were my longest childhood friend. I lived next door to you for what, 14 years? And we had a friendship that’s hard to replicate. I couldn’t be more grateful that I got to have that with you. Thank you for that. You might be gone, but those loving memories aren’t going anywhere, son. 

Andrew Scannell: I met you in college at freshman orientation. You asked me for a word suggestion. Becoming friends with you? Oh that was a boost to my 18 year old ego. After four years of laughs, performances, and jokes that only a true New England Pirate would understand – we actually had a falling out. And then – we both forgot about it. We reconciled a year ago and had beers together with some old friends. I am so, so grateful we reconciled. 

Friends. We have an amazing opportunity to find gifts amidst a dark and dreary day. Don’t let your love go to waste. Yes – be sad. Cry when you need to. And when you’re ready, start finding those takeaways. And for extra credit, share those takeaways so we can spread this message to others. 

I love you Dave. I love you Andy. 

And I love you, friends. 

 

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How to stay positive when you’re skipping a Cubs game – that you were really looking forward to

Have I ever mentioned how much I love baseball?

 

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These are a few of my favorite things

It’s my favorite activity that has nothing to do with my goals. And that’s coming from an entrepreneur/personal development junkie who struggles to make time for any such activities. But I make an exception for baseball.

And I’ve been craving some Cubs baseball. Especially lately.

The context: I had tickets for a game I was really excited about. May or may not have had a hot date (which I was equally excited about.) I had just skipped out on staying late for my Broken Nose Theatre cast party for “At the Table” due to other commitments. And I really, really wanted some baseball and beer…

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My last several facebook photos….all including “At the Table” pictures of cast, understudies, or social outings with said friends. (Yup. Even the one with the puppy.)

 

….and then I got sick.

……..WHY NOW?!

So friends. As I write this post (very deliriously, I might add) the day I’m supposed to go to the game, yet share insight after insight with my peers on how to be more positive and live an authentically positive life – how do you stay positive when this happens?

I got three tips for you:

  1. Get pissed. Seriously. You’re sick when you’re FINALLY free to do something fun. You think airy fairy positive thinking is going to make you feel better? HA! No. This sucks and you deserve to be in a bad mood if you want to be. 
  2. Put things into context. But obviously staying angry forever won’t help. And let’s be honest, other cool life stuff is going to happen. Like my friend’s wedding in a couple weeks. And the Red Sox game I’m going to see two days beforehand. And not to mention there’s another entire month of baseball left in a city with two baseball stadiums. One of which never sells out their games (even with their $10 tickets.) So put things into context: A year from now….are you even going to remember this happened? (Hint: Probably not.) 
  3. Really put things into context: I met a doctor recently who shared she wasn’t allowed to practice in the United States. Despite six intense years of medical school, her papers can’t be transferred here because her country kind of doesn’t like our country. (Not for reasons you might think, but I’m sure those aren’t helping either…) Add on top of this the fact that her family was stuck in her country surrounded by war, having no idea if they made it through the night. After hearing this story, a baseball game didn’t seem to be a big deal. 

(Note: As of a month ago, this doctor’s family is safe and out of the country!!) 

A note about putting things into context….

Your feelings still matter. When I had this insightful conversation with the doctor, she also validated my own feelings (though I didn’t specifically mention the game.)  Just because I’m comparing my situation to hers doesn’t mean I don’t get to feel bad about it. Her words – not mine.

Keep that in mind. The next time you’re feeling guilty that you had a shit day when there’s war and famine going on in another part of the world – that doesn’t mean we don’t get to express our own feelings that humans experience. I bring this up because while putting things into context helps me realistically and positively feel less bad about my own situation, it doesn’t mean I have to feel guilty that I’m feeling feelings. Ya know?? 

So in summary: 

-Be pissed (but don’t stay there) 

-Will this matter a year from now? 

-Put things into context

-Remember that your emotions are valid 

Go get ‘em. 

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel