You don’t suck

Post originally written for parlepost.com

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Quote: Jen Sincero

Ever have someone hate you?

I once was tweeting with a director. (Yes. Tweeting with a director. It’s a thing.)

I had auditioned for him previously. He suggested we meet up for coffee. “Yes please!” Unfortunately it never happened. I stopped hearing from him. I attempted to connect with him on Facebook, but he never accepted. This did wonders for my self esteem.

Click here to read full post! 

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Tony. Why do I have to click links?” 

I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But I’ll be linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless. Are you, like, available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what you’re looking for and we’ll see if I’m a good fit!

The difference between being negative and being genuine. (It’s not what you think.) 

…okay maybe it’s what you think. 

Just recently, I came home to my apartment after returning to a visit to the Boston area. 

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Not wanting to break routine, I proceeded to through my usual vacation withdrawals at first. “What? Back to reality? Back to day jobs? Ugh…” I decided I needed something Boston related to get me through the next few days. And since nothing makes me happier than the Red Sox, I figured listening to some baseball would do the trick. 

Good news: I have a membership that allows me to listen to any baseball game I want! 

Bad news: …it wasn’t working. 

Three phone calls and multiple conversations with both Google Play and MLB At Bat reps resulted in….no answers. 

The follow day, I called again. This time I got a rep named Cara from Oklahoma. 

Truthfully, Cara didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic to talk to me. And I couldn’t say I blamed her – I was calling to get help with something that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I love baseball – but I don’t need baseball. (Playoffs excluded. Obviously.) Yet I was surprised when apologized to me for not sounding more energetic. “I’m really not feeling well,” she admitted.

Her honesty allowed us to have an awesome conversation. She wasn’t being fake, pretending like she was thrilled to be at work (even though I’m sure her boss wouldn’t approve.) She was honest and I even got to learn more about her. She loves baseball, hockey, and was looking to get back into a career in singing! I loved everything about this. 

She also scored extra points when she solved my problem and got Tony Rossi some baseball back into his life. 

Now had Cara gone on to vent to me about how much she hated her job, hated being sick, etc. this would have been a different blog post. But I personally love when I get a sense of honesty from someone who is on the clock and serving me. 

In a nutshell, I can’t stand fake. I blame the corporate environment for this, and not their employees – who are most likely not getting paid enough to even be there in the first place. 

The way to be genuine is to be yourself without venting. I love getting a sense of the person behind the mandatory smile. But let’s also not confuse this with getting a free pass to bitch and moan that we’re on the clock in the first place. 

So friends, be on the lookout for more ways to be yourself without going into a tailspin of “this sucks and here’s why.” 

And if all else fails – tweet broadcaster Tim Neverett and let him know where you’re listening from. He likes when you do this. 

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Don’t worry, I wasn’t being negative. They were broadcasting an extra inning game. And doing it wonderfully. 

 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 


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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

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Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

 

When Being Right Doesn’t Work

Post originally written for parlepost.com. 

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My name is Tony. And I’m extremely stubborn.

Despite being stubborn, I love to make people feel happier, more confident, and have a better understanding of themselves. In order to have this understanding, it helps to understand others. Which means, if I want to help people in this area, I must do the same. So I’m working on this whole “stubborn” thing and focusing on how to listen better – particularly when I don’t want to…

Click to read the full post! 

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“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. Last week I shared that I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

Why You’re Having a Bad Day

I was having a bad day. And it didn’t seem like I could improve it.

One of the benefits of being a #MyBigYear2017 member is the monthly calls with Courtney Rioux. (You can also sign up on her website to receive info for her free calls if this concept intrigues you.) A question Courtney sometimes asks us is, “Are you willing to see things differently?” I remember the first time I heard her ask this. I realized that each time I posted in our group or shared thoughts on a call, I was sharing them to vent. Not to hear an answer. In order to get that answer that deep down I ultimately wanted, I needed to see things differently. And to see things differently, I needed to be okay with being “wrong” about the way I was currently seeing things. 

A thought Courtney shares is, “You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be right.” I constantly need this reminder because, well….I like be right! 🙂 And the funny thing is, I think that by being right, I’ll automatically be happy. Usually it works the opposite. 

Back to my bad day: I wasn’t in a good mood and I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Yet with the mood I was in, I wasn’t just unmotivated. But I grew more frustrated every time I started a new task. I quickly realized that this wasn’t the state I wanted to be in when doing things like answering emails and submitting to different theatre companies. 

I took a walk. (Okay, I went to Walgreens. I needed toilet paper.) 

I got home. I listened to Ross Grant do his bi-weekly #ActOnThisTV periscope.

And slowly, I started to feel better. (Cubs rallying in the 9th for a day game at Wrigley? Bonus points.)

It wasn’t until after all of these things that I started to be willing to see things differently. And once I was willing to see things differently, I was able to do the things that made me happy. 

Next time you’re in a bad mood ask yourself: Are you willing to see things differently? Or do you want to complain? If you want to complain, chances are you just want to be right. (Trust me, I get it.) And if you want to be right, perhaps right now is not the thing to solve your problem.

Take a break from the problem. In fact, watch this

I know, right? Cubs will do that to you.

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Thanks Cubbie Instagram for the pic. You make my blog look good. (Also – follow the Cubbies on instagram.)

Let’s go get ‘em friends. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

I got shit done. It didn’t make me happy.

I woke up early. (It’s okay. I love waking up early.) 

I ate my favorite breakfast (chocolate oatmeal), listened to Wendy Braun tell me I’m amazing. Then listened to Mark Manson tell me to get my shit together. 

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I love my mornings like this – desk is cluttered (along with a Vitamin D pill), yet it’s got all the nutrients for the mind and body that I need. It’s awesome. It makes me happy. 

I went to Starbucks. 

I got shit done. I drank coffee. Then more coffee. (I love the gold card. I really do.) 

I went home. 

I got more shit done. (Not as much as I would have liked, but enough.) I listened to the Red Sox Spring training game. Tim Neverett retweeted me. I got an industry discount for a show this weekend. (My friends are awesome – thank you.) I texted friends. I exercised. I even went the extra mile and bundled up, got out my bike, and did a late night (for me) grocery run. 

Oh, and did I mention that I also saved money by skipping my original plan to take the train somewhere fun and creative like WeWork or Front Bar (where I would have paid more for coffee)? 

I. Crushed. My. Day. 

….and to be honest…it sucked. 

“Wait. Tony. You just just bragged about crushing it…why did it suck?.” 

It wasn’t until I did my late night grocery run that I realized how much I hate staying indoors all afternoon. I hate not having something to work on projects outside of agent submissions and day job gigs. There was a time when I loved to just lounge around and chill. That day is long gone. Today, I need something to do. Something meaningful. (Though, throw a script in my hands to memorize and suddenly I “need more down time.”) 

I realized that I’m wired in a way – or however the hell you wanna label it – that makes me want to do things maybe a little differently. I love my morning routine. I love getting work done from places outside of my apartment. But that’s not enough. Truth be told, I got revitalized by biking up the street to Aldi to get groceries in a sketchy part of town. I didn’t even mind that it took me a few extra minutes to unlock my bike because one of my lights needed fixing. (Don’t worry – I fixed it.) 

I like getting out. I like getting shit done. 

And it’s okay if you don’t. 

What matters is that you’re aware of what makes you tick and what turns you on.. In all senses. (Sorry, family friendly audience.) What matters is that you set a routine that’s obtainable and sustainable. It gets your own shit done and makes you happy. 

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I was my happiest self the week prior when I took advantage of getting some work done from WeWork….the coffee helps.

I hope you start to recognize that, my friends. Because you deserve to be your happiest self in the most authentic and awesome way possible. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their terms. Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you share his content with friends and family.

You are abundant. You are enough.

I learned this weekend at the Bodhi Spiritual Center that I suffer from “not enough ness.” It’s a terrible thing. 

The following is a list of things I frequently find myself wanting more of: 

-Money

-Fun

-Airline Miles

-Confidence

-Groceries in my fridge (because I always forgot to pick up something)

-Apartment accessories

-Money

-Warmer weather

-Cooler weather (in the summertime)  

-Money

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through this list in my head. I think of how much easier life could be. How much less stress I’d have. How much more enjoyment I’d have. But first, I’d clearly need more things on this list. 

Because I’m such a big advocate of personal development materials, I’ve learned that getting these things won’t actually bring me the joy I want…..why is this? 

When we suffer from “not enough-ness” we are coming from a place of lack. Coming from a place of lack is not an empowering way to make us happy. When we come from a place of lack, we might gain temporary fulfillment by achieving things on our list. But it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t bring us longterm happiness – which is what we all are ultimately seeking. 

The truth is, we need to come from a place of abundance and gratitude. 

“But Tony. How can I come from a place of abundance when I don’t have enough?”

  1. Ask yourself, “Is this is true?” Often we think we don’t have enough money, but the truth is we have plenty. We just choose to spend it on other things. For example, I’ve been putting off purchasing workout equipment for a while now “because I don’t have enough money.” Yet over the weekend, I found myself spending much more money than I planned on for food and drinks while celebrating the Patriots AFC Championship game. (Note: The real reason I did this was to fulfill my other need of “not having enough fun lately.” See how coming from lack doesn’t help here?) There’s no need to beat ourselves up when this happens. That’s also not serving us. Rather, this is something we can do to better evaluate the truth, and then take action to fix it from that empowering place. 
  1. Identify the areas you are abundant in. While I might not have the income I want right now, I do have an abundance in other areas. Currently, this includes time. I’m not always abundant in time. But right now, because work has slowed down, I have more of it. It’s led to more activities that I’ve been waiting to do for a while, but had previously dismissed because of my schedule. These activities also make me feel more abundant with fun. (Despite that I still feel the need for more.) You do have an abundance, friends. It just might not be in that area you’re focusing on. 

Please remember: Realize that what you resist persists. If you’re coming from a place of lack, you’re resisting something negative. If you’re a believer in the Law of Attraction – and I am – you know that you draw in whatever it is you’re focusing on. Instead, focus on the thing you do want. Attract more of that thing instead. 

I’ll end this with a quote from one my new favorite authors, Jennifer Sincere. She ends each chapter of her book, “You are a Badass” by reminding us… 

“Love yourself.” 

And in one instance…

“Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.” 

I need that reminder. Constantly. 

I am enough. You are too. Love yourselves, friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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One of my favorite ways to remind myself of how abundant I am is by writing in my Spotlight journal every morning. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their terms. Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you share his content with friends and family.

A letter to my neighbor (who stole my Christmas present)

I returned home a wonderful week visiting friends and family for the holidays. I found some mail waiting for me in my apartment lobby – which had been opened for me.

My aunt mailed a Christmas present to me aaaand….it got stolen.

Here was my reply:

Dear Neighbor, 

I’m guessing you like presents….

Since you opened my mail and took items that were sent to me, you seem like the type 😉 From what I understand, my Aunt Linda sent me a card, a gag gift, and a check. Well, the check was cancelled, the card was for me, and the gag gift probably didn’t mean much to you. 

To compensate, these are for you 

-A gift card to Old Navy (It can’t be cancelled! 😉 ) 

-A Chicago Cubs shirt (Hope you’re a medium) 

-An opened Mp3-Mp4 Digital Audio Player (I’ve had this thing for ever – thought you might want it more than me. Oh, and sorry I didn’t wrap it…) 

Here’s the thing, neighbor – I don’t condone stealing. But I also don’t condone hate. I hope these gifts bring you joy and hope. Apparently this reaction isn’t common – so just know that the next person you take from might not respond this way. 

Happy New Year Neighbor, 

Tony (Unit 14) 

PS – Grab these quick. It would suck if someone stole them before you could get what was delivered to you. (See what I did there? 😉 Sorry….but seriously grab ‘em!)

I shared this letter in a Facebook Live video. I asked friends to share it. So far, we’re up to 800 views and 22 shares. Why is this awesome? Because it’s telling the world that #LoveWins. 

I’d be sad if anyone’s takeaway from this message is, “What the hell?! Why would anyone do that?!” Because asking “Why is _______ so terrible?” or “Why does ______ always happen?” are both very, very disempowering questions.

My hope is that this message gets shared. My hope is that it gets shared over and over until eventually this type of reaction isn’t different or odd….it becomes the norm.

So….help me share it? 

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Thanks friends.

Let’s go get ’em.

Other links you might like: 

My youtube channel!

A replay of my follow up video 🙂

Why I Do Personal Development (with a story of my not-so-good morning)

My morning was going freaking fantastic. And then, it just wasn’t. 

Some context:

It was my first day back to my “Tony’s morning routine.” This is where I wake up early somewhere between 5-7am, listen to my morning meditation from Wendy Braun as I shower and change, write in my gratitude journal, and then eat my (healthy) chocolate oatmeal while I read a personal development book. (Right now I’m reading “Awaken the Giant Within” by Tony Robbins. Love it.) I do all of this before checking my phone, email, Facebook, or anything that might have something or someone wanting my attention. I want to be in a positive state before checking any of that. 

It. Was. Great. 

I had been working a day job the previous few days and didn’t get this routine. I was excited to be back. I proceeded then to catch up on emails and messages, drink my coffee, and put in some work towards my Beachbody coaching for a couple hours. I was having FUN! I felt a rush of adrenaline that I hadn’t felt in a few days. 

And then…..I worked out. 

Usually this is another part of my morning that I enjoy. Lately however I haven’t been able to workout without experiencing some symptoms after. It’s frustrating. And being a Beachbody coach, I like to share what I’m doing – which includes setbacks. That day I learned after that I still couldn’t finish a workout without experiencing symptoms after.

(Side note: No it’s not serious. Yes I’m okay. Yes, I will repeat this again and still get questions from friends and family asking if I’m okay…) 

I’m sharing this part because then….I got pissed. 

I’d share all the thoughts I said to myself that hour, but instead just pretend you see Tony Rossi doing the opposite of what he posts on social media when it comes to positivity….it’s not pretty. 

I was about to mindlessly scroll and throw a pity party until it was time to leave for work. Instead, realizing that this hasn’t helped at all in the past, I decided to check my folder in my Gmail titled “Personal Development” – filled with blogs and videos from my favorite people that help me be my happiest self. I found found a video from Andrea Schulman from Raise Your Vibration Today that I had yet to check out…..

STOP FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF  

…oh my. Okay then. 

It was a slap in the face that I needed. It gave me reminders THAT I HAD HEARD EARLIER THAT MORNING IN MY MORNING ROUTINE that I had completely forgotten about. (Sorry for shouting. We’ll get back to that). Then…I started to feel a little better. 

Personal development, positive reading, and self care isn’t this “one and done” thing. It’s like working out – you have to keep doing it if you want to keep the results you earned. 

So as you go about your day and wonder why it is you’re not feeling happier, more motivated, energized about life, etc ask yourself when the last time you read a positive book or listened to a positive audio. I don’t share this stuff because it’s cute (though some of my blog are pretty adorable.) I do it because I need it for myself. 

I hope you take advantage too, my friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em, yeah? 

Don’t feel like being grateful? Well guess what…

…I hear you. And you know what? That’s okay.

Over the past two months, I’ve found myself less grateful, less positive and more grumpy. Part of it has been because of a setback to my workout routine. But other times, I realize everything is fine, dandy and I catch myself almost trying to be in a bad mood.

So if you ever feel that way yourself…

  1. Know that it’s okay
  2. Realize that if you do want to truly be happy….you can.

Don’t believe me? Here’s a story from recently:

I was grocery shopping. And I was in a terrible mood. 

Nothing was in it’s place. They were out of produce I specifically went there to get. It was unusually busy for the early time of day. I avoided eye contact with everyone. I kept making a point to avoid others as much as I could. And when I got to the check out line, I just set down my groceries and hoped I could get out of there as soon as possible. 

A mom behind me had a little boy with her. He was very eager to help, not to mention explore the checkout aisle in its entirety…This was the opposite of someone I wanted to interact with. I avoided eye contact and just waited my turn. Eventually I had to put my basket away, and he was standing…right next to the baskets. Even being in a bad mood, I wasn’t about to be rude to a child. I said, “Excuse me, buddy!” waited for him to make space and placed away my basket. Later on he accidentally placed some raisins next to my items. I gently put them back on his side. “Unless those are for me?” I joked. 

This didn’t turn around my entire day. But it did make me happier.

I realized that being forced to interact with the child made me use energy that I had previously didn’t want to use. It was a time where I thought, “I can’t even THINK about putting on a smile right now…” But because there was a child there – I found a way to make it work. I forced myself to muster the energy to be polite and friendly. 

And it felt good. 

It was a humbling reminder that no matter how often we want to stay in our negative mood or state, we always have the energy to be friendly and happier. It’s just a matter of whether or not we actually want to. Finding little nuggets like these though help make it easier in the future. 

Regardless of how you spend today, realize that you do, in fact, have that energy to be happy today. It doesn’t matter what Uncle Freddy says to you 😉

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends. Let’s go get ’em 🙂 thanksgiving .jpg

Thanksgiving 2012. I hosted….thankfully friends knowledge, food, and company rescued the day….that’s a story for another night 😉 

The question that got me out of my funk

Last week I shared with you guys that I haven’t been feeling too great this month. Unfortunately this week is no different 😦 What I’ve since learned is that I’ve been prolonging my cold because I was being stubborn. I had refused to take a break from my exercise regiment and wasn’t giving my body the rest that it needed.

I honestly didn’t realize how attached I had grown to my workouts and my physical results I was getting from them. Of course, I learned this the hard way because I’ve finally stopped doing them. I’ve also learned the hard way that I’m not very nice to myself when this happens. I allow that negative voice to chime in…

“You don’t look as good as you did before.”

“You realize that if you don’t workout, you’re going to look ugly.” 

“You should just let yourself go and eat like crap too. There’s no reason to pretend that you’re going to keep your results in the meantime.” 

All this negative chatter has been chiming in. There was a good 24 hour period where I listened to every word and believed it to be true. (It wasn’t pretty. Ask Beaker.) 

Fortunately I’ve had some helpful people chime some reason into my head. Coaches such as Wendy Braun and Courtney Rioux in particular. In fact, it was Courtney’s words that chimed into my head that finally started to put me in a better mood. 

I credit Courtney for a lot of my breakthroughs. What was really cool about this one was that I actually haven’t even shared this specific struggle with her yet. I simply remembered something she had said to someone else in a recent My Big Year call. They were going  through something completely different and expressed it to Courtney. She followed with this question: 

“Are you willing to see things differently?”

I love this question. We easily can spend time and energy listening to negative voices and asking ourselves why we’re not better. Yet we often don’t stop and ask if we’re willing to see our situation in a different light. I realized the entire time I had been kicking myself and listening to that negative voice that I wasn’t willing to see things differently. I wanted to feel better, resume my workouts, and then have a big cheat night while I watched one of the Cubs games….and then resume my workouts so I could get my results back again. (True story.) I was so frustrated, I wasn’t willing to see any other outcome. But once that question popped into my head, I realized, okay…..I am wiling to see things differently.

Now….what can I do?

The next tie you find yourself in the midst of a setback, stop and see if you’re willing to see things differently. There’s an answer for every problem. But we won’t take the necessary next steps if we’re not open to seeing things differently.

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And if all else fails, take this advice from Preston Smiles. This was from his book “33 Ways to Love Louder.” I’m a little obsessed and it’s such an easy read.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.