2018 won’t save you

“TONY. WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME ABOUT THE NEW YEAR?!”

Relax. I’m going somewhere (positive) with this….

Look, we all see a lot of interesting social media posts this time of year.
“I love the first snow!”
“What the f**k is my f**king coat?! #loveloveactually
“Can’t wait for the annual actor holiday party!  #totalcheatnight
“Ughhh….I ate too much for my total cheat night…” #worthit #round2tonight
Okay those are just mine. I’m sure you’ve seen others that are richer in content. At the same time, I’m also guessing you’ve seen a variety of not so positive messages this time of year….
“SERIOUSLY 2017?!” #sooverit
“Can we just get into the new year already? 
“Next year is going to be so much better….”
“I just got fired for reading Tony’s blog at work. #unsubscribing”
Whether you’re #sooverit with 2017 or just excited for 2018, I have news for you: 2018 is just a date on the calendar. 
 
Of course there’s nothing wrong with using dates on a calendar or any kind of “new beginning” as a force of positive motivation. But let’s not confuse external motivation as the only source of motivation. That said, I’m not here to crush your “positive bubble.” . Instead of relying on a date on a calendar or any kind of external motivation, what do you have at your disposal that you can use as internal movtivation?? 
 
If you’re eager to learn more about this, I recommend reading up on some of the thought leaders who have been in the game a little longer than me. Some of my favorites include Brendan Burchard, Darren Hardy, and James Clear
But Tony – I’m here! Can you give me any tips or advice that might be a little more helpful in the meantime?
I thought you’d never ask….
On my flight back to Boston, I compiled a lost of positive and empowering thoughts. Feel free to print out or write them down as reminders when you’re feeling frustrated.

Empowering thoughts:

  • 2018 will have setbacks. Buckle up 😉 (Sorry…that wasn’t empowering…)
  • 2018 will also have beauty. Keep your eyes open so you don’t miss it.
  • You are absolutely allowed to find beauty in your setbacks
  • Just because you’ve never done something before that a lot of others have been doing who are a lot (older than you, younger than you, etc) doesn’t mean you can’t start exactly where you are
  • Sometimes things can be a lot easier than they seem

 

Thoughts for my single friends:

  • Being single allows you time for things you might not have if you were in a relationship. Enjoy them while knowing that it won’t stay this way.
  • Please…you can find a new boyfriend without making a bunch of physical changes. Stop reading blogs that tell you otherwise.
  • List five reasons you’d make an amazing partner. Consider how many people currently in relationships aren’t getting those qualities from their significant other. You get to give those to someone.

Goal thoughts

  • Sometimes the hardest part that you’ve been dreading for so long won’t be nearly as bad as you make them out to be in your head
  • Ten years from now, you’ll probably have achieved a lot of your goals. And you’ll wonder why you wasted so much time freaking out.
  • Don’t be so hard on yourself that you stop enjoying the journey.
  • There are going to be parts you look back on fondly that will surprise you

Setbacks:

  • Your situation that’s happening right now is just that – it’s happening now. That doesn’t make it permanent.
  • You’re hard on yourself because you care. Be proud that you care.
  • Sometimes that negative voice in your head will get very loud. That doesn’t make it true. Volume does not equal truth.
  • Your week might start out with six bad days, but that seventh awesome day will make everything worth it.
  • You don’t have to be happy right now. But keep the flame of hope alive for when you’re ready to get back up

And a Tony thought for you…..

  • YOU ARE AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, AND CAPABLE OF GREATNESS EXACTLY AS YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU ARE. 

 

“Start where you are, with what you have – because what you have is plenty enough.” -Eric Thomas. 

 

I’m #notperfect. But if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re not either. Why not try something empowering instead of disempowering this week – or hell, this year??

Thank you for reading – whether it’s your first time or one hundredth. I’m grateful for you. You deserve to feel amazing. Go after what you love.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

 

PS – Thanks to all of you who did make 2017 so memorable 🙂

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Photo by Garret Sacco 

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Photo by Nicole Shuberg Photography

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Photo by Johnny Knight Photo 

 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

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7 Short Phrases To Help You Feel Better

If you’re a member of the Thriving Artist Circle with Dallas Travers, you might be familiar with her mantra cards.

These cards are a great reminder that we’re not failures, we’re all doing our best, and we can stop beating ourselves up for being #notperfect.

Here are a few of my favorite that I either have hanging up, or have given out to friends in the hopes that they’ll help them out:

Seek failure

Today I allow things to be easy 

I forgive myself for ever thinking I’m not good enough. 

My nerves show me what matter. I love them. Then I let them go. 

I’ve totally got this! 

I release all pressure to be confident, perfect, or right. 

And then my favorite…

How did I get so damn good looking?!

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…and a few other good ones 🙂

A few things to note about these mantras:

-Sometimes they resonate with me a lot. Other times they don’t.

-During the times they don’t, it’s important to realize that they don’t. Trying to force myself to love them doesn’t help, and can even make me resent them.

-If they make me feel good, I use them and repeat them. If they don’t make me feel good, I can think acknowledge this and then let it go. Dwelling on it or beating myself up for not having them work never helps.

My favorite one: Today I allow things to be easy. It helps regardless of whether I’m going to a job I love or going to a job I don’t love.

 

If any of these resonate with you, feel free to write them down, put them on stickys, and place them in places you’ll see. The really cool thing about these is that the more you see them, the more they become ingrained in your head. And they start to feel pretty freaking good.

And that, my friends, is the whole point.

Let’s go get ’em.

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

 

Tony’s Ten Favorite Quotes to Make You Happier

I don’t know who that negative voice is in my head.

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…though it might be him. He was used at one of my last shows I did in college. Saw him when I was home last week….just look at that stare….

I don’t know why he says the things he does or what benefit he gets from bringing me down. All I know is he can make me very unhappy in a short amount of time.

Often he’s pretty convincing. So I’ve made it a priority to flood my brain with as many positive thoughts as possible. Morning, afternoon and evening.  I have times where I purposefully am listening to or reading information that will make happier, more positive, thinking bigger.

Many people share with me how difficult it is to think positive and chase big goals. And I agree. It’s why I believe books and audios are a non negotiable (LINK: Blog). When you have ideas like these jumping out at you, it makes your day a little bit better.

Below are ten quotes from four speakers. These quotes specifically have been resonating with me over the past month.

 

Les Brown

“I’m not having a bad day. I’m having a character building day.”

“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.”

“No matter how bad it is, or how bad it gets….I’m going to make it.”

 

Darren Hardy

“The activities you’re most afraid of are the activities that can cause a breakthrough in your success. Step into them.”

“People love your flaws! They make you “flawsome” and adorable.”

“One of the best days of your life can be when you finally say, ‘I’ve had it!’ then stand up and fight.”

 

Dr. David Schwartz

“How you feel when you lose determines how long it will be until you win again.” Schwartz

 “You are what you think you are. Think more of yourself, and there is more of you.”

 

 

Eric Thomas

“Just because you failed, it [doesn’t] make you a failure.”

 “So many people live life and die, without really living life. I wanna know what it’s like to live life. I wanna know what amazing feels like.”

 

Sometimes I’ll come across these quotes when I’m having a bad day. They help. If you’re having a bad day of your own, I encourage you to come back to this page and read these for yourself. Or look up these speakers yourself!

And of course, you have yours truly to help you out. I update my blog twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also update weekly videos to facebook on Sunday, plus host a live periscope at 8pm central time. All of these are uploaded to my youtube channel.

Did you have a quote that resonated with you? Or a speaker you like to follow that I missed? Leave a comment below! Would love to get more insights.

Have a great week, my friends. Go get ‘em.

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Be happy. That thing you’re worried about? Future-you isn’t even thinking about it right now 🙂 

I’m Giving You Permission To Give Up

Today we’re going to talk about giving up.

This is different than when you’re in a bad mood and thinking irrationally. We’re talking, you had a great night’s sleep, a healthy breakfast, and didn’t hit any traffic on your commute to work. You’re want to giving up. You could literally let go of that big and awesome goal you’ve had for years right now, no problem.

Disclaimer: I don’t like this topic.

I want everyone to go after their crazy, awesome life. At the same time, author Brendan Buchard made me realize something in his book “The Charge.” (This is one of those moments where I’m quoting a book I haven’t read yet, so forgive me for paraphrasing. And thank Ross Grant for sharing this topic on his periscope recently.) Brendan talks about the different ways we “break out of the cage” and start taking action towards that crazy awesome life I’m always promoting. The part that really hit me was when I learned that “not everyone has broken free from the cage.” And then there was this part:

“….not everyone will.”

That phrase broke my heart. I believe all of us have potential. I will always promote going after your goals regardless of your current situation because there really are no limits to what we can achieve.

And yet, there are some who will still never, ever take these messages to heart. It kills me.

Some of you may have heard the expression that you can “lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” So here’s my message to those of you who don’t want to take a sip of water. (Side note: You’re missing out. This is damn good water.)

That crazy awesome goal of yours? Just let it go.

Sure, it would be great to lose weight. It would be great to work a job that makes you happier. But let it go. You’re not doing anything about. So let it go.

Goals are supposed to make you feel good. If you’re thinking about a goal that you’ve been putting off for years, it’s lingering in your head and making you feel guilty. And let me tell you something about guilt: It’s heavy. You’re carrying it around with you all day and it’s not serving you. It might even be hurting your relationships because you’re resenting those who are actually doing something about it. Let it go.

Of course…..I won’t end on that note. Come on. It’s still me here who is doing the talking. You do have another option: You can finally do something about it.

You can take the plunge or start small. Hell, if you start small and keep up consistently, you’re going to have the wheels spinning before you know it. Eventually it’ll be more painful to stop than it is now to get started.

But if you’re not, do yourself a favor. Let it go and release the guilt that you’re carrying around all day. It’s not worth it.

The choice is yours.

Go get ‘em, friends.

Why a date on a calendar is poor for resolutions

Remember all the blogs I wrote about during the summer on being your best self? Neither do I. They never got written. I stopped updating when I lost motivation

We don’t need more motivation. We don’t need more willpower. They’re fleeting and useless when life throws us curveballs or simply gets busy.

I started writing again after some initial motivation. Then it developed into a routine. I keep writing now because I believe this blog needs to be read. There’s a friend out there who hasn’t heard this message. There’s a student who got my business card and has no idea that personal development is a thing.

I figured out why I want to write. And that’s what keeps me going.

When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breath

Need an ongoing dose for motivation?  The “Thank God It’s Monday!” series from Eric Thomas was a a great one. I’ve watched ’em all =) 

You have to have a why

In February of 2014, I bought the 21 Day Fix. It made nutrition simpler and easier to understand than anything I ever tried. I was finally seeing the toning results I was looking for.

…those usually got erased a couple times a month. Even though I knew what to do, I didn’t have a good reason for why I was doing it. I knew I wanted to look good. But that didn’t stop me from eating when I was stressed. (Or just bored.)

Ten months later, I found a deep why. My nutrition has been great ever since. And I still get to have my treats.

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The dessert spread at my Aunt’s house on Christmas. You never would have known that I’m a healthy eater after…

Your why has to be deep

If it’s a surface level answer, it’s not deep enough. Go deeper.

Why do you want to eat better? (Because I want abs.) Why do you want abs? (Because I want to look good.) Why do you want to look good? (Because I feel better about myself when I look good.) Why do you want to feel better? (Because when I feel better, I do my best and most efficient work towards living my crazy awesome life.) Why do you want to live a crazy awesome life? (Because I can literally cry thinking about it. And I can also literally cry after submitting to a bunch of jobs that I know I don’t want to go to.)

Find your why that makes you cry.

You have to be willing to fail

There’s a myth out there that says if we’ve failed, there’s something wrong with us.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Failure is feedback. Without it, we don’t get better. Tell your ego to chill and go out there and fall a few times.

 

falling darren daily

Highly recommend subscribing to www.darrendaily.com for gems like this one each day

 

When all else fails, remember this: There are others waiting for you to live your crazy awesome life. It’s going to help them. Whether that’s because your dream job involves it, or because you’ll be happier and have a stronger relationship with your significant other, friends and family. There are others counting on you.

How’s that for a strong why?

Have a killer 2016. I’ll see you after a couple of stumbles. I know they’re in store for me too.

Go get ‘em.