You are abundant. You are enough.

I learned this weekend at the Bodhi Spiritual Center that I suffer from “not enough ness.” It’s a terrible thing. 

The following is a list of things I frequently find myself wanting more of: 

-Money

-Fun

-Airline Miles

-Confidence

-Groceries in my fridge (because I always forgot to pick up something)

-Apartment accessories

-Money

-Warmer weather

-Cooler weather (in the summertime)  

-Money

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through this list in my head. I think of how much easier life could be. How much less stress I’d have. How much more enjoyment I’d have. But first, I’d clearly need more things on this list. 

Because I’m such a big advocate of personal development materials, I’ve learned that getting these things won’t actually bring me the joy I want…..why is this? 

When we suffer from “not enough-ness” we are coming from a place of lack. Coming from a place of lack is not an empowering way to make us happy. When we come from a place of lack, we might gain temporary fulfillment by achieving things on our list. But it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t bring us longterm happiness – which is what we all are ultimately seeking. 

The truth is, we need to come from a place of abundance and gratitude. 

“But Tony. How can I come from a place of abundance when I don’t have enough?”

1. Ask yourself, “Is this is true?” Often we think we don’t have enough money, but the truth is we have plenty. We just choose to spend it on other things. For example, I’ve been putting off purchasing workout equipment for a while now “because I don’t have enough money.” Yet over the weekend, I found myself spending much more money than I planned on for food and drinks while celebrating the Patriots AFC Championship game. (Note: The real reason I did this was to fulfill my other need of “not having enough fun lately.” See how coming from lack doesn’t help here?) There’s no need to beat ourselves up when this happens. That’s also not serving us. Rather, this is something we can do to better evaluate the truth, and then take action to fix it from that empowering place.

2. Identify the areas you are abundant in. While I might not have the income I want right now, I do have an abundance in other areas. Currently, this includes time. I’m not always abundant in time. But right now, because work has slowed down, I have more of it. It’s led to more activities that I’ve been waiting to do for a while, but had previously dismissed because of my schedule. These activities also make me feel more abundant with fun. (Despite that I still feel the need for more.) You do have an abundance, friends. It just might not be in that area you’re focusing on. 

Please remember: Realize that what you resist persists. If you’re coming from a place of lack, you’re resisting something negative. If you’re a believer in the Law of Attraction – and I am – you know that you draw in whatever it is you’re focusing on. Instead, focus on the thing you do want. Attract more of that thing instead. 

I’ll end this with a quote from one my new favorite authors, Jennifer Sincere. She ends each chapter of her book, “You are a Badass” by reminding us… 

“Love yourself.” 

And in one instance…

“Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.” 

I need that reminder. Constantly. 

I am enough. You are too. Love yourselves, friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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One of my favorite ways to remind myself of how abundant I am is by writing in my Spotlight journal every morning. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their terms. Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you share his content with friends and family.

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“Because that’s life”

Hello! And welcome to TonyinChicago.

I update every Thursday. (You should subscribe. They’re pretty great….though I suppose I’m biased).

I write because one of my favorite things in the world is to share with others how to become a more authentically positive version of ourselves so that we can do the things we really want to do with our lives. I want others to discover they have control over their thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and patterns.

I want people to start realizing, “Oh wow….I used to feel (insert negative emotion here). But now I don’t. And my previous self would have never considered this a possibility!”

It’s a pretty awesome feeling once we realize how much control we actually have in life.

Sadly most people don’t accept this. They go with the, “It is what it is,” mentality. Oh! That reminds me…

There’s a guy who always visits one of my day jobs. I recall a conversation wit him where he shared with me -within minutes -about a health problem he had, then followed with how the red-hot Cubs would likely lose in the playoffs. “Because that’s life!” he told me.

Funny thing about life….
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…it doesn’t actually suck. It only sucks if you allow it to suck and allow yourself to be pulled by the current of “it is what it is.” It’s a herd mentality. I’d advise you not to follow it.

My hope to everyone is that you start reading more than just this blog from a guy in Chicago. Read authors such as Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Darren Hardy, and John Maxwell. Subscribe to Marie Forleo, Eric Thomas, and Preston Smiles on their youtube channels. Spend just a little bit of time everyday reading and watching these materials so that they eventually compound into these powerful thoughts that you never realized you were capable of having.

 

me

 

I hope you do this so that you can have your own transformation…and yes, I might be a bit more trim in the “after” photo. It’s more than just an “I eat better and exercise” photo. It’s an “I’m a happier person” photo. I hope you can be happier too.

And I hope you realize just how amazing life can be, my friends.

Let’s go get ’em.

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Tony Rossi (that’s me!) is an actor, motivator and Beachbody coach helping others to become the most authentically positive version of themselves. If you’d like to speak with Tony, learn about his services, or tell him how much you like his hair, feel free to email him at tony.rossi@gmail.com. 

 

Tony’s Ten Favorite Quotes to Make You Happier

I don’t know who that negative voice is in my head.

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…though it might be him. He was used at one of my last shows I did in college. Saw him when I was home last week….just look at that stare….

I don’t know why he says the things he does or what benefit he gets from bringing me down. All I know is he can make me very unhappy in a short amount of time.

Often he’s pretty convincing. So I’ve made it a priority to flood my brain with as many positive thoughts as possible. Morning, afternoon and evening.  I have times where I purposefully am listening to or reading information that will make happier, more positive, thinking bigger.

Many people share with me how difficult it is to think positive and chase big goals. And I agree. It’s why I believe books and audios are a non negotiable (LINK: Blog). When you have ideas like these jumping out at you, it makes your day a little bit better.

Below are ten quotes from four speakers. These quotes specifically have been resonating with me over the past month.

 

Les Brown

“I’m not having a bad day. I’m having a character building day.”

“Someone’s opinion of you does not have to be your reality.”

“No matter how bad it is, or how bad it gets….I’m going to make it.”

 

Darren Hardy

“The activities you’re most afraid of are the activities that can cause a breakthrough in your success. Step into them.”

“People love your flaws! They make you “flawsome” and adorable.”

“One of the best days of your life can be when you finally say, ‘I’ve had it!’ then stand up and fight.”

 

Dr. David Schwartz

“How you feel when you lose determines how long it will be until you win again.” Schwartz

 “You are what you think you are. Think more of yourself, and there is more of you.”

 

 

Eric Thomas

“Just because you failed, it [doesn’t] make you a failure.”

 “So many people live life and die, without really living life. I wanna know what it’s like to live life. I wanna know what amazing feels like.”

 

Sometimes I’ll come across these quotes when I’m having a bad day. They help. If you’re having a bad day of your own, I encourage you to come back to this page and read these for yourself. Or look up these speakers yourself!

And of course, you have yours truly to help you out. I update my blog twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I also update weekly videos to facebook on Sunday, plus host a live periscope at 8pm central time. All of these are uploaded to my youtube channel.

Did you have a quote that resonated with you? Or a speaker you like to follow that I missed? Leave a comment below! Would love to get more insights.

Have a great week, my friends. Go get ‘em.

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Be happy. That thing you’re worried about? Future-you isn’t even thinking about it right now 🙂 

How We Can Relate to “Perfect,” Successful People

Ever tried to relate to someone successful?

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No, no, sorry. I mean someone really successful?

Papi

Anyone else excited for baseball season? (Picture from facebook.com/davidortiz)

There we go.

I love reading books by inspiring authors and listening to powerful speakers. Yet I’ve been guilty of just “hearing” their messages in the past without fully digesting their message. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

I find there’s a couple reasons why we can’t relate to some of those incredible, ridiculously successful people:

They seem perfect. Their level of success is more than “I quit my day job.” They did quit their day job. Then made six plus figures at their dream job, plus have a drink waiting for them upon entering Starbucks. Sometimes it’s hard to relate when we’re still waiting tables, plus get our names spelt wrong on our coffee cup.

They seem condescending. Take Eric Thomas, for example. He doesn’t just share his message. He shouts it. And he’s not afraid to call you out on your poor habits. When we hear a lot of messages like these, we sometimes take it personally. Kind of hard to listen to a message when we’re busy being offended.

Here’s the thing: Whether it’s in a classroom, at a presentation, or in our apartment as we’re reading, there’s a powerful message being delivered to our ears. Yet when we think about those themes I just mentioned, we’re really replying with “You’re too perfect for me to relate to” or “You’re being mean, so I don’t want to listen.” Kind of a negative response, isn’t it? But let’s not kick ourselves for our thoughts. That would be silly. Instead, let’s refocus them.

Think about this instead:

They’re trying to help. They didn’t just roll out of bed thinking, “Maybe I’ll go onstage today and tell people how to be better.” They’ve dedicated their lives towards helping others. They don’t just want to help – they need to!

They’re genuinely concerned for us. Many of the best speakers and authors went through some kind of struggle – usually a big one. The “harshness” of their tone or message isn’t because they’re mad that we’ve slacked or neglected our goals. Rather, it’s because they don’t want us to go through what they went through.

They’re like, really excited. Again, they do what they do for a living is because they need to. Yes, it’s also what they love. Combine the two and you’ll get a very excited person who can’t wait to share their message.

“But Tony, what if I really don’t relate to this successful person?”

The cool thing is that there are a lot of speakers and authors out there. It’s all about finding which one best relates to you in terms of style and personality. What also helps is learning about their past and upbringing. While I didn’t always love Eric Thomas, I become much more attached to his work after learning about his story.

As you learn from other successful and inspiring people, remember that they’re trying to help. Start looking for which ones have a style or story that relates to your own.

And then….start your own journey. Maybe you’ll be able to inspire others in your own way 🙂

Why You’re Not As Happy As You Could Be Right Now

Wow….that’s a morbid title, isn’t it?

I want to emphasize this varies for everyone. It’s based on things like work life, social life, health and nutrition, or whether or not you have an awesome goal you’re hoping to achieve – but keep putting off. You might be happy with all of these….in which case, we need to hangout. I’m always looking for more positive and people in my life. (Like, seriously).

So how do we learn whether or not these are areas that are preventing us from being happy? Go back to that list I just mentioned. As you read, notice whether or not any one of those topics make you cringe. Then dig deeper.

…I know, I know. Digging deeper isn’t fun when it comes to things that make us cringe. Try not to focus on how uncomfortable it feels. Rather, think about how this is a small step towards making that area less stressful. Which then leads to a happier YOU 🙂

Okay, so you’ve sucked it up and dug deeper: Why am I unhappy in this area? What’s stopping me from making progress? Here’s a common reason:

There are rules in your head that are stopping you from overcoming obstacles. We call these limiting beliefs. These beliefs vary from “I’m not good enough,” to “That won’t work,” to “That’s only something that other people can do.” How these beliefs got there in the first place can vary. What’s important is getting rid of them. And to get rid of them, we need to recognize them. The scary part is we usually don’t know that these beliefs even exist. Before I started working with Courtney Rioux, I didn’t know I had any limiting beliefs. (Now I know that I have several hundred.) If this wicked awesome blog post you’re reading right now isn’t enough to break your limiting beliefs, you may want to consider a coach yourself.

If that’s not for you, or you want to start smaller (and I always am a fan of starting small), I recommend incorporating personal development into your daily routine. Doing this consistently over time will help you recognize these beliefs without even trying. I personally recommend audio: Books, interviews, motivational speakers, etc. I like audio because of what I can get done while I’m listening: Cooking, cleaning, showering, driving, etc. We don’t always have time to sit down for an hour and listen to a motivational speaker. But we all have time to do things like shower.

(And if you don’t….we do not need to hangout….regardless of how positive you are….)

If you do have time for reading (even ten pages a day), here are some books I recommend:

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“The Compound Effect” – Darren Hardy

“The War of Art” – Steven Pressfield

“Failing Forward” – John C Maxwell

“Eat That Frog!” – Brian Tracy

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Dale Carnegie

I have plenty more 🙂 But to avoid overwhelm, start with those. Hell, just start with ONE. Again – start small. If you’re not a reader yet, start with “The War of Art.” The longest chapter is about four pages.

Have you ever discovered a limiting belief that you didn’t know you had before? Share below in the comments section!

And then…have a great week! IT’S ALMOST MARCH 🙂

If you know someone who might enjoy this post, I’d love for you to share with them! And if you wanted to share on social media, I wouldn’t be upset either….

That One Time I Was Wrong

[Guys in the back IMMEDIATELY begin yelling in regards to the title.]

I know, right? I haven’t posted in a while. It’s good to see you too 🙂

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how we should focus our energies on the positives, even during the most negative situations.

I personally do a lot to make sure I stay positive. I start off each morning with exercise and personal development reading. I eat clean except on planned cheat days. I’m constantly listening to personal development audio, or interviews relating to my career. And I keep my positive and inspiring friends close by – or at least I try.

Even after learning about the passing of my childhood friend, I was doing everything by the books. I was Tony-freaking-Rossi – positivity king of the world. Nothing could break me.

Then I attended the wake. Then the funeral. And of course,  both were within twenty four hours. Oh, and let’s squeeze in my plane ride back to Chicago too (because Tony-freaking-Rossi thought that was a good idea).

I spent a third of the plane ride in tears. The other two-thirds were spent wondering how much longer the flight was…I really had to pee.

After taking the train back to the city, I stopped at one of my favorite restaurants that may or may not be healthy. I took my food back home where I eagerly grabbed some wine.

I needed a break from being positive.

Don’t get me wrong – it’s important to stay as positive as we can during dark times. But there are some circumstances that are going to be bigger than you. No matter how hard you prep, they’ll still get ya. It’s important not to confuse this with making excuses and turning every little thing into an “extreme” circumstance. But for the really extreme ones, we’re allowed to take a break. Not fall into a funk. Just take a break.

Stay positive, friends. And when all else fails, know that Big G’s is open late.

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Oh and I lied. The night before Thanksgiving was also a cheat day. Spent it with these guys for the first time in four years. Much love to all of them and for helping me through the week 🙂