NEWS: You can find me Backstage…

A few months ago, I applied to be a writer at Backstage.com.

Mind you, I didn’t think I actually deserved to do it.

Here’s a list of things the negative voice in my head was telling me….

 

-I can’t write for them. Only successful people do that. 

-Have you seen the credentials of the actors who write for them? 

-You still work day jobs and don’t have your dream agent. You’re not going to be considered. 

-Your hair sucks today. Don’t submit. 

 

(That last one is always my ego’s final attempt to stop me from doing things.)

I had a plethora of reasons not to submit. Yet, there was one good reason to submit that was strong enough to silence the rest: No one is writing about the thing I want to write about. 

Take a look at any successful company or entrepreneur and you’ll see they used their passion to solve a problem that needed solving. Examples include Uber, Stubhub, and even Grubhub. (Hellooooo tacos!)

I realized I love helping my peers recognize their worth before they’ve achieved success. And there wasn’t anyone (that I saw) who was a “beginner” and was doing this.

So I submitted….and got no reply. (Insert “See? I told you!” voice here.)

I almost gave up. Until I realized, “Oh wait. I never heard the word “no.”

So I resubmitted. Got a reply right away 🙂

And here, my friends, is a link to my first article for Backstage.com.

 

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Don’t let anyone – including imaginary negative voices – try to talk you out of something you should be doing.

Let’s go get ’em, friends. .

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

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How dating reminded me of my (embarrassing) past

Last week my longtime friend, Sammy B, married a wonderful girl named Ashley. 

 

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It was a fun night filled with food, dancing, and a bunch of wonderful people I don’t get to see nearly as often as I like. Our group of friends growing up was a good one. It warms my heart that most of us are still in touch. 

Since we don’t see each other often, we go through the usual interrogation process when we catch up…. 

 

“So, still living in the same place?”

“Where are you working these days?”

“Are you seeing anyone?”

 

That last one has always been my favorite. (And by favorite, I mean least favorite.) 

I usually was the single one in our group of friends, and that didn’t change as I got older. I watched in envy as the rest of my friends fell in love, went on dates, and had lots of sex. (Seriously. I wasn’t even cuddling with anyone. It was so unfair.) Which is why I was thrilled to report to them that, “Yup! I am seeing someone! Wanna see a picture?!” 

Don’t get me wrong. I haven’t discovered any “secrets to dating.” But the whole night made me discover something: I used to be pretty unhappy with myself because of my dating story. And that night – none of it mattered. Hell, some of my friends I used to envy were currently single themselves!  

We waste far too much time and energy beating ourselves up, don’t we? 

 

We aren’t making a certain amount of money.

We aren’t married with kids. 

We haven’t reached a certain point in our careers where our dream job is paying the bills. 

 

But here’s the thing: Unless we’ve reached a point where it’s literally impossible to achieve our goals (Too old to have kids, etc), we can still get there. It just might take longer than we hoped….Oh, and it usually does. And the deadlines we place on ourselves are so unfair and silly. But that’s for another blog.

And here’s the best part – once we get there, that “embarrassing” past – which is really nothing to be ashamed of in the first place – isn’t going to matter. The point isn’t that you took longer than you thought. The point is that you got there. 

Friends. I have no idea when I’ll get married. All I know is that I will someday. (Not sure about the kids part….but if I do, we can cut go back and edit this part out, yeah?) And as long as that happens, I don’t need to be embarrassed about things that did or didn’t happen before getting there. 

 

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We clean up alright 🙂 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

How you’re feeling is perfect

Hey friends!

Quick blog post while I visit friends and family back in New England.

(I was up late last night. I was at a Red Sox game.)

Many of you know I do #SundayVideos. They’re all on FB Live and share Tony nuggets of wisdom….so they’re like this. Except in video. And live.

A couple weeks ago I posted this thought, “What if how you’re feeling now is perfect?” 

Let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your thoughts and if you struggle with how you’re feeling in the present moment as well – either right now, or down the road.

Let’s go get ’em.

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

3 Questions to Ask to Stop Yourself From Worrying

My name is Tony Rossi. And I’m a worry-holic.

 

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Must have been why they gave me the “Are you Robert Pattinson” scene during Waltzing Mechanics XI Edition of “El Stories”

I love the book, “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendrix. There’s a section where he talks about how we get addicted to worrying and how quickly we go into scenario of “The Universe will not function if I don’t worry about this.” I realized I’m very good at worrying myself.

While I’m still working on this, I’ve been able to help some of my friends who are worry-holics themselves. Here are three questions I often ask:

1) What is the worst case scenario here?

Sometimes we find ourselves worrying without even wondering what the repercussions are! Try to figure out what those are now with this question. You may find you’re stressing about something very mundane that doesn’t deserve as much energy as you’re giving it.

Now let’s say this is a serious issue that needs to be address. What is the very worst thing that can happen? Is it as bad as you’re picturing it to be? Is the universe going to end? Is anyone going to die? Even with those situations where someone is depending on us for something we can no longer deliver on, the repercussions often aren’t as bad as we make them out to be in our heads – which sometimes is that worst case scenario J

2) Do I have any control over this?

Do you ever find you’re worrying about the following….

-Public transportation running late

-Traffic

-The weather

-Something bad happening in the world

We love to complain, stress over, and vent about those four topics. Sometimes we realize we have no control over them and think that worrying will help us somehow rectify the situation. As a worry-holic, I can tell you this doesn’t help. If anything, it will drain our mental batteries, cause us to break down, and swear a lot in our apartment. I’m sure my neighbors have plenty of nicknames for me…

I’m always hearing complaints and negativity around these things specifically. Keep in mind that if you choose to worry over them – chances are you can’t do anything about it. If you can – great! But if not? You’re wasting a lot of energy that’s going to drain you. And I’m guessing you want that.

Sometimes it helps realizing we worry because we care. We don’t want to hold others up. We don’t want to see ourselves in future pain. And we don’t want to see others in pain. Great! We’re awesome people! Now let’s keep being awesome by saving up that energy – we’re busy! We need it.

3) If the worst case scenario happens, will I be able to bounce back from this?

This is where I like to play the “Will this matter in five years?” game. Yes, if I’m late and I lose my job it would be very inconvenient. But will I find another one or find a solution to keep me from going homeless in the meantime?  Yes I will. In this case, stop worrying exactly about the HOW and focus on the fact that you WILL make it work.

Finally, when you DO catch yourself worrying again remember this: It’s okay. You’re okay. And you’re not worrying because you’re a bad person. You’re worrying because you’re human.

Which of these three resonate with you the most? I’d love to hear in the comments below.

(Have a friend who worries? Feel free to share or invite them to the blog 🙂 )

Let’s be awesome this week.

Go get ’em.

(Look familiar? This post was written one year ago! Feel free to browse below for previous posts)

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

How to stay positive when you’re skipping a Cubs game – that you were really looking forward to

Have I ever mentioned how much I love baseball?

 

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These are a few of my favorite things

It’s my favorite activity that has nothing to do with my goals. And that’s coming from an entrepreneur/personal development junkie who struggles to make time for any such activities. But I make an exception for baseball.

And I’ve been craving some Cubs baseball. Especially lately.

The context: I had tickets for a game I was really excited about. May or may not have had a hot date (which I was equally excited about.) I had just skipped out on staying late for my Broken Nose Theatre cast party for “At the Table” due to other commitments. And I really, really wanted some baseball and beer…

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My last several facebook photos….all including “At the Table” pictures of cast, understudies, or social outings with said friends. (Yup. Even the one with the puppy.)

 

….and then I got sick.

……..WHY NOW?!

So friends. As I write this post (very deliriously, I might add) the day I’m supposed to go to the game, yet share insight after insight with my peers on how to be more positive and live an authentically positive life – how do you stay positive when this happens?

I got three tips for you:

  1. Get pissed. Seriously. You’re sick when you’re FINALLY free to do something fun. You think airy fairy positive thinking is going to make you feel better? HA! No. This sucks and you deserve to be in a bad mood if you want to be. 
  2. Put things into context. But obviously staying angry forever won’t help. And let’s be honest, other cool life stuff is going to happen. Like my friend’s wedding in a couple weeks. And the Red Sox game I’m going to see two days beforehand. And not to mention there’s another entire month of baseball left in a city with two baseball stadiums. One of which never sells out their games (even with their $10 tickets.) So put things into context: A year from now….are you even going to remember this happened? (Hint: Probably not.) 
  3. Really put things into context: I met a doctor recently who shared she wasn’t allowed to practice in the United States. Despite six intense years of medical school, her papers can’t be transferred here because her country kind of doesn’t like our country. (Not for reasons you might think, but I’m sure those aren’t helping either…) Add on top of this the fact that her family was stuck in her country surrounded by war, having no idea if they made it through the night. After hearing this story, a baseball game didn’t seem to be a big deal. 

(Note: As of a month ago, this doctor’s family is safe and out of the country!!) 

A note about putting things into context….

Your feelings still matter. When I had this insightful conversation with the doctor, she also validated my own feelings (though I didn’t specifically mention the game.)  Just because I’m comparing my situation to hers doesn’t mean I don’t get to feel bad about it. Her words – not mine.

Keep that in mind. The next time you’re feeling guilty that you had a shit day when there’s war and famine going on in another part of the world – that doesn’t mean we don’t get to express our own feelings that humans experience. I bring this up because while putting things into context helps me realistically and positively feel less bad about my own situation, it doesn’t mean I have to feel guilty that I’m feeling feelings. Ya know?? 

So in summary: 

-Be pissed (but don’t stay there) 

-Will this matter a year from now? 

-Put things into context

-Remember that your emotions are valid 

Go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

7 Short Phrases To Help You Feel Better

If you’re a member of the Thriving Artist Circle with Dallas Travers, you might be familiar with her mantra cards.

These cards are a great reminder that we’re not failures, we’re all doing our best, and we can stop beating ourselves up for being #notperfect.

Here are a few of my favorite that I either have hanging up, or have given out to friends in the hopes that they’ll help them out:

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Today I allow things to be easy 

I forgive myself for ever thinking I’m not good enough. 

My nerves show me what matter. I love them. Then I let them go. 

I’ve totally got this! 

I release all pressure to be confident, perfect, or right. 

And then my favorite…

How did I get so damn good looking?!

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…and a few other good ones 🙂

A few things to note about these mantras:

-Sometimes they resonate with me a lot. Other times they don’t.

-During the times they don’t, it’s important to realize that they don’t. Trying to force myself to love them doesn’t help, and can even make me resent them.

-If they make me feel good, I use them and repeat them. If they don’t make me feel good, I can think acknowledge this and then let it go. Dwelling on it or beating myself up for not having them work never helps.

My favorite one: Today I allow things to be easy. It helps regardless of whether I’m going to a job I love or going to a job I don’t love.

 

If any of these resonate with you, feel free to write them down, put them on stickys, and place them in places you’ll see. The really cool thing about these is that the more you see them, the more they become ingrained in your head. And they start to feel pretty freaking good.

And that, my friends, is the whole point.

Let’s go get ’em.

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

 

Stop Apologizing For Being You

#tbt – post was originally written by yours truly three years ago! 

What’s one of your embarrassing qualities you wish you could change?

Before I share mine, a story! Well, not a real story. More of a comment. If you’re reading this, you know I enjoy writing. The cool thing about writing is you can go back and fix your words as many times as you want before sharing them with others. Unfortunately, this isn’t how things work in “real life” when you’re having, you know, a real conversation.

I love talking to others. I don’t mind being in front of large groups of people.  Yet I have this incredible tendency to stutter and stumble over my words. This is quite the embarrassing quality to have, especially when you’re a creative artist. I often find myself wishing I was more articulate and less socially awkward. There are even times when I fear that I’ve bothered others with my stuttering and stumbling.

The most recent time this happened was yesterday. (We’ll skip the more recent stuttering incident which took place talking to myself in the shower this morning.) Again, I became concerned that I was being a nuisance. For whatever reason, I quickly found myself asking these questions:

1) Am I actually offending anyone?

2) If I am, am I doing this on purpose?

It’s okay to be embarrassed by our habits. Just as long as it’s not causing us stress or pain. In fact, I want to encourage everyone to stop apologizing for doing things that make you the awesome person you are. As long as you’re not doing them to offend anyone, you have no reason to apologize. You’re being you! Even if this entails some silly qualities, why apologize?

Wanna know the best part? I’m willing to bet a lot of our friends enjoy our flaws.

 

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I can’t promise that this group enjoys my flaws. But I’ve been friends with them for such a long time, they at least have a high tolerance of them

Think of a quality or habit that you may be embarrassed by. Are you purposefully doing it to offend someone? I doubt it. Go ahead and stop apologizing for it. Today.

 

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

3 Things I Learned From Having Maggots

So I woke up ready to start my day the usual way: Journaling. Stretching. Workout. Breakfast. Shower. Do responsible adult things and get back to people who have been waiting for you to finish your routine. 

I got as far as journaling. Then I found maggots. 

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While this was taken much later at my first day of interning at Compass Casting – that was pretty much the same expression on yours truly…

I got maggots twice last year. It wasn’t fun. This year I was determined to decrease that number. By 100%. So when I did find them, it was rather upsetting. Insert Tony-Tantrum consisting of cursing and a plethora of “Why me?! Why now?!” questions here.

And then…I realized the problem wasn’t as bad as I thought. 

Not only did I find that there weren’t very many, but I also remembered that of all days I could find maggots – it was also the day where Ernesto’s Pesticides was coming to the building! And while my unit wasn’t scheduled for a spraying, I found my building manager…right as I was taking out the trash! 

Long story short – I have no more maggots. 

Things I learned: 

  1. Freaking out about problems as soon as we identify them doesn’t serve us. It robs us of taking time to reflect and see if the problem is as big of a deal as we’re making it out to be.
  2. Even knowing that – it’s very easy to get caught up in our emotions that stem from the problem. 
  3. I’ve learned this before. I’ll likely need to hear it again. And again. And again. 

Here’s to having a maggot free week 😉 

Let’s go get ‘em.

Disclaimer: Tony had a lovely first day of interning at Compass Casting. Please do not mistake his Beaker face for any negative feelings towards actors, his fellow interns, Sarah Clark, or her dog Tucker. 

Other disclaimer: Tucker is still feeling me out. But we have a good thing going. So he gets smiles before any of the others so far. 

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

Stop it. You’re not a bad person. (VLOG)

I got home in a bad mood.

I had zero reason to be upset this day. The night before was awesome. The morning was great. And yet – I still arrived back home feel cranky, upset, and stressed.

God I hate when I’m stressed after a good day. Why can’t I just be normal and enjoy the good things going without worrying about the bad?

Thankfully, I’ve had a lot of positive mentors relaying a bunch of powerful thoughts to me recently. Some of these were live. Others were through audios and recorded videos. And after listening to some of them that morning – I finally started to relax.

And then I got really excited…..and made a video about it.

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Why I stopped stressing out….Click the image to watch! (5 minutes)

Stop it. Give yourself some credit for being so caring. And then from that empowering place, we can finally start to fix whatever it is needs fixing.

Oh, and for the record – we don’t need fixing. We’re awesome exactly as we are. We’re just human and we need some growth and change from time to time.

Let’s go get ’em.

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

You’re allowed to feel shitty today

Ever find yourself in a mood and beating yourself up for feeling (insert your favorite negative mood here)?

Just yesterday I found myself in one of those moods. Don’t get me wrong – the day had a good start. It was an early morning, but an easy shift with some positive people.

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I don’t usually like gigs like these….but the staff at Bisnow are wonderful. 

The thing is, these shifts make for a very early wake up. Like, a 4:30am wake up. And of course I got to bed late the night previously after my Vagabond School class. Oh, and I just so happened to have a show later that evening.

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Aren’t we cute? Grateful for Broken Nose Theatre this group of people right here

“No worries!” I thought. ” I can totally take my time to rest, nap, and take it easy in between….”

….except I still haven’t figured out this nap thing. ( Like seriously!)

I experienced my normal symptoms of feeling tired, groggy, and cranky following my nap. I wasn’t happy. Which of course led me to get upset about anything and everything for the rest of the afternoon.

And then I said to myself, “You know what – it’s okay to feel shitty today.” And the minute I told myself this, I felt better.

Funny how much pressure we take off ourselves the minute we stop trying to do things right or perfect.

I hope that the next time you’re in a cranky mood, regardless of the reason, you cut yourself some slack and remember, “Hey. I’m human. I’m not a terrible person for being #notperfect.”

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Write it down. Hang it up. I swear it helps.

 

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel