Why You’re Having a Bad Day

I was having a bad day. And it didn’t seem like I could improve it.

One of the benefits of being a #MyBigYear2017 member is the monthly calls with Courtney Rioux. (You can also sign up on her website to receive info for her free calls if this concept intrigues you.) A question Courtney sometimes asks us is, “Are you willing to see things differently?” I remember the first time I heard her ask this. I realized that each time I posted in our group or shared thoughts on a call, I was sharing them to vent. Not to hear an answer. In order to get that answer that deep down I ultimately wanted, I needed to see things differently. And to see things differently, I needed to be okay with being “wrong” about the way I was currently seeing things. 

A thought Courtney shares is, “You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be right.” I constantly need this reminder because, well….I like be right! 🙂 And the funny thing is, I think that by being right, I’ll automatically be happy. Usually it works the opposite. 

Back to my bad day: I wasn’t in a good mood and I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Yet with the mood I was in, I wasn’t just unmotivated. But I grew more frustrated every time I started a new task. I quickly realized that this wasn’t the state I wanted to be in when doing things like answering emails and submitting to different theatre companies. 

I took a walk. (Okay, I went to Walgreens. I needed toilet paper.) 

I got home. I listened to Ross Grant do his bi-weekly #ActOnThisTV periscope.

And slowly, I started to feel better. (Cubs rallying in the 9th for a day game at Wrigley? Bonus points.)

It wasn’t until after all of these things that I started to be willing to see things differently. And once I was willing to see things differently, I was able to do the things that made me happy. 

Next time you’re in a bad mood ask yourself: Are you willing to see things differently? Or do you want to complain? If you want to complain, chances are you just want to be right. (Trust me, I get it.) And if you want to be right, perhaps right now is not the thing to solve your problem.

Take a break from the problem. In fact, watch this

I know, right? Cubs will do that to you.

Cubs .jpg

Thanks Cubbie Instagram for the pic. You make my blog look good. (Also – follow the Cubbies on instagram.)

Let’s go get ‘em friends. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

Listening The Wrong Way

I’m a nice guy. You all know this by now, yes? So when I tell you that I I spent last week listening to a lot of people I didn’t like….you won’t judge me, right?

Empire

HOW can you judge that face? Note: Reggie (left) and I were sad because we had been on set for 16 hours. We were tired. But really it was a fun day.

What baffled me was that these people were all giving great advice and information. I just didn’t particularly like their delivery. I found their methods to be negative, and sometimes even condescending.

I’ve always believed that in order to be a good speaker, you have to be a good person too. Why listen to someone who is going to be condescending? That just hurts our pride. Maybe that’s true. Maybe it’s not. One thing I’ll admit is this: We should always listen to good advice, regardless of how it’s delivered. This doesn’t mean we have to be best friends with the speaker. But ignore what they’re saying and we could miss out on a lot.

What flipped the switch for me was this quote from Dani Johnson. For those of you aren’t familiar with her, Dani is a motivational speaker. She also happens to be a millionaire.

“‘She’s not educated. She doesn’t speak right. She doesn’t talk right’… You’re right. But you’re there and I’m here. And I got here because I was there and I had to lay down my pride and my ego to learn from someone that I did not like.”

I used to think that having an ego solely referred to being cocky and full of ourselves. I also thought that knowing the definition (or at least part of it) meant you didn’t have one. I learned this week this isn’t true. I have some work to do with my own. A lot of us are so focused on doing things the right way, we miss out on all the information that comes out the “wrong” way.

In Don Miguel Ruiz’s “The Four Agreements,” agreements, he tells us not to take anything personally:

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in.”

Okay. Easy enough. Don’t let the haters get to me. I hear you, Don!

….except I didn’t really hear him. He goes on to talk about how this applies to both negatives and positives.

“If people tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don’t take anything personally.”

This might be a tough one to grasp. But I honestly believe that if we can learn to incorporate both the negatives and the positives together, the concept will be easier to comprehend as a whole.

What are some areas where you can start putting your ego aside? What thoughts might you take personally that you don’t necessarily have to?

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