Avoid the Norm: Find Your Own Inner Joy

Post originally written for parlepost.com 

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It was 12:48am.

I placed my tortilla chips, mozzarella cheese, and two PBRs (Tall Boys. Obviously) on the counter. I’m sure I was quite the sight.

Living a healthy lifestyle is something I take pride in. But I like a break from routine every now and then. Earlier that night, I also treated myself to a low key evening with friends. It involved draft beer and bar pizza. These were the perfect ingredients for a “Tony night off” – good company, good food, and a break from the usual.

As midnight rolled around, I was surprised to find myself more excited than I had been all night as I ventured toward the twenty-four hour Jewel Osco.

…right?

Why was this happening?
Was there something wrong with me?
Am I just not a normal social person like the rest of my friends?  

Click to read full post!

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“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

You are abundant. You are enough.

I learned this weekend at the Bodhi Spiritual Center that I suffer from “not enough ness.” It’s a terrible thing. 

The following is a list of things I frequently find myself wanting more of: 

-Money

-Fun

-Airline Miles

-Confidence

-Groceries in my fridge (because I always forgot to pick up something)

-Apartment accessories

-Money

-Warmer weather

-Cooler weather (in the summertime)  

-Money

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through this list in my head. I think of how much easier life could be. How much less stress I’d have. How much more enjoyment I’d have. But first, I’d clearly need more things on this list. 

Because I’m such a big advocate of personal development materials, I’ve learned that getting these things won’t actually bring me the joy I want…..why is this? 

When we suffer from “not enough-ness” we are coming from a place of lack. Coming from a place of lack is not an empowering way to make us happy. When we come from a place of lack, we might gain temporary fulfillment by achieving things on our list. But it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t bring us longterm happiness – which is what we all are ultimately seeking. 

The truth is, we need to come from a place of abundance and gratitude. 

“But Tony. How can I come from a place of abundance when I don’t have enough?”

  1. Ask yourself, “Is this is true?” Often we think we don’t have enough money, but the truth is we have plenty. We just choose to spend it on other things. For example, I’ve been putting off purchasing workout equipment for a while now “because I don’t have enough money.” Yet over the weekend, I found myself spending much more money than I planned on for food and drinks while celebrating the Patriots AFC Championship game. (Note: The real reason I did this was to fulfill my other need of “not having enough fun lately.” See how coming from lack doesn’t help here?) There’s no need to beat ourselves up when this happens. That’s also not serving us. Rather, this is something we can do to better evaluate the truth, and then take action to fix it from that empowering place. 
  1. Identify the areas you are abundant in. While I might not have the income I want right now, I do have an abundance in other areas. Currently, this includes time. I’m not always abundant in time. But right now, because work has slowed down, I have more of it. It’s led to more activities that I’ve been waiting to do for a while, but had previously dismissed because of my schedule. These activities also make me feel more abundant with fun. (Despite that I still feel the need for more.) You do have an abundance, friends. It just might not be in that area you’re focusing on. 

Please remember: Realize that what you resist persists. If you’re coming from a place of lack, you’re resisting something negative. If you’re a believer in the Law of Attraction – and I am – you know that you draw in whatever it is you’re focusing on. Instead, focus on the thing you do want. Attract more of that thing instead. 

I’ll end this with a quote from one my new favorite authors, Jennifer Sincere. She ends each chapter of her book, “You are a Badass” by reminding us… 

“Love yourself.” 

And in one instance…

“Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.” 

I need that reminder. Constantly. 

I am enough. You are too. Love yourselves, friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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One of my favorite ways to remind myself of how abundant I am is by writing in my Spotlight journal every morning. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their terms. Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you share his content with friends and family.