Well…this is awkward….

…I didn’t write a new post for this week.

Fortunately there’s a post I wrote last November that really resonates with me this week – “How to stay positive (and sane) when you’re sick. Again.”

….yup 🙂

See y’all next week!

What happened: Woke up with a dry throat. Woke up feeling like I barely slept, despite getting extra sleep that night. Woke up realizing, “Oh dear. I might be sick. (Again.)”

Despite this, I didn’t deter from my morning routine, complete with meditation and exercise. I’d keep an eye on whether or not I still felt dehydrated throughout my workout. If I felt like I was still dehydrated despite having chugged a bunch of water – I’d have my answer. 

What happened next: I got my answer. (It wasn’t what I wanted.) 

What usually happens then: I get angry. I throw a pity party, wondering things like “Why me?” and “How the hell am I supposed to get through the next few days?” 

What happened instead: “Ah. Damn. That’s not what I wanted…..Alright then.” 

Why: Because the combination of meditation and personal development books make you a superhuman….or at least a more positive one.

 

The book I’ve been reading is“The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle.  With meditation, a common practice is to simply notice thoughts as they come and go. What we tend to do, as Eckhart shares, is that we create an identity with the thought. Then the ego takes control, and all hell breaks lose. While I didn’t want to be sick this week, I also didn’t want to fall into my usual pattern of “This is awful and nothing will ever be okay!” Because…well, that’s not true, is it? 

I stopped trying to predict the future. I avoided worrying about whether or not I’d still be sick by the end of the week, where I knew I was going to be really busy. I just focused on acknowledging my thoughts. I knew my fears were there. But I figured if I’m going to be sick, I might as well take something away from this crappy situation. 

Besides…..

I’m never sick for longer than a week 

I didn’t have any big parties or fun events I was going to have to “power through”

I was so glad I wasn’t sick on Thanksgiving! 

A couple of weeks from now – everything will be okay and this will just be another blip on the radar.

Let’s put this into practical thinking: Right now I’m able to look at this from an empowering perspective. But what about when I’m sick, I’m at work, a customer is really bothering me, and I have a few other things on the agenda that day….how will I view things then? Will I still be “Mr. Positive” and be able to stay present and optimistic?? 

At the time of writing this, I’m just starting to feel the initial stages of the sickness. It’s at this point where I tend to think, “Oh, this isn’t that bad…” and then by either tonight or tomorrow morning, I’ll be like, “NOOOOPE THIS IS TERRIBLE!” So all this is to say that it’s much easier for me to view my situation from a positive place today. Tomorrow and the day after? I can’t say for certain, but there’s a good chance I won’t be all smiles and sunshine. 

If you’re someone looking to start embracing this attitude, but have those normal doubts of “What happens when _____ happens and I stop being happy?” I get it. I’m right there with you. I also think this is a great time to take another page out of “The Power of Now” and get present and work on just noticing the thoughts as they come. I personally love how Eckhart views the future. Paraphrased, he says, “You cannot cope with future fear because it doesn’t exist. Instead, tune into the present moment. That’s all we ever have to cope with.” 

I’m still working on this myself, but I’ll let you know how it goes. In the meantime, let me know if this has helped you: What’s an area of your life where you can apply this? Have you applied this before? Leave a comment below or shoot me a tweet and let me know. 

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When all else fails, get some of Grandpa’s honey that he helps make himself with a nice guy named Chuck. It’s good stuff!  

Have a great (and healthy) week, my friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

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There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need fixing. But this might help…

I saw another friend yesterday post about how they were struggling with self esteem.

Automatically, I found myself furiously typing. “Here’s how I used to feel. Here’s how I feel now. Here are three things I recommend. And here are some ways to flip your perspective….”

I stopped.

Will this even matter? Will they actually listen to me? Who the hell am I to help this person? And how can I share this with them so that they take my advice, rather than dismiss it? 

I have this inner dialogue every time I see a friend share that they’re in pain. I hope someday to have a better way of helping them.

If I could share a message today for anyone – friend or other – who might be struggling with self esteem, this is what it would say:

At the risk of sounding like a broken record….

There’s nothing wrong with you. You don’t need fixing. You are not broken. You just suffer with incessant negative chatter. You’ve bought into one of the bullshit beliefs, like that other people’s opinions of you get to dictate your self confidence. Or that your resume dictates your self worth. 

I know the feeling. I’ve suffered it a lot. In fact, I still do. 

I don’t want you to suffer anymore. I hope you take the time to start reading personal development books, working with a life coach, and finding more positive people to spend time with that already have the confidence you desire. Do it. You can’t afford not to. And if you can’t do it for you – do it for someone you love. Someone you can’t bear to be in pain. You can help them by starting with yourself. 

Finally….stop taking yourself so damn seriously 🙂 Most of our problems go away in a day, a week, or a couple months. We find new problems. Don’t worry. This problem will go away and that future one will too. 

And when you forget all of this because you’re a normal human being who forgets stuff – no sweat. Just hit the reset button. Being perfect is s waste of time and energy, anyway.

I love you guys. 

 

I really do.

 

Let’s go get ’em.

 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

It caught me out of nowhere

All of a sudden I was in a shit mood. I figured it was one of those “we’ll always have shit days” type of thing.

Until I reflected. I was shocked at what I discovered.

 

What happened: I had started my day off the usual way: Exercise, personal development, Starbucks morning. All signs pointed to a good started

What happened next: I had an incredibly unproductive work session. Lots of negative chatter. Suddenly I was focused on everything that was going wrong, and doing my work from that place of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not there yet,” “I’m a failure….”

The rest of the day: Not good….(shocker) 

Fast forward to the next day. I was well rested. I was in a better mood. Sleep has a funny way of making you feel better, doesn’t it?

I now had a bunch of new perspectives. Not only was I looking my situation from a fresh perspective, but I was relistening to my book (“High Performance Habits” – Brendan Burchard) with a new perspective too.

What happened next:

-I literally did the same routine. Relistened to the chapters I had listened to the day before, as per my practice….but now I heard the words in a different light. (Hence why I do this.)

-Yesterday it was new information. It was a spotlight on all the things I’ve been doing wrong, as well as things that are missing in my life. Personal development tends to do this – create awareness. Yet that day in particular, it was a BIG learning moment of a lot of things I was doing wrong. But it happened so gradually in this book that I didn’t realize it was the cause of what started a negative loop hole.

Now I can look at this information completely different. “OH. Yeah that was the part when I realized that I’m working a lot, but achieving little. No wonder I was so upset…” It made me remember that the fact that I’m not earning enough money is really holding me back. Which then, in turn, made me really upset when I went to Starbucks and started applying for jobs online….

Personal development is a wonderful tool to help you notice the trouble areas. It’s kind of like lights in your car indicating you need to check your engine. It’s GOOD to know about this information. However, if every time that light went off, you started to focus on how much of a failure you are for not keeping better care of your car, these signals could do a number on your self esteem.

The biggest take away I got that morning was that the whole point I was READING this book was to become better. Getting better doesn’t happen just by listening to the chapter. It doesn’t happen by even completing the exercise – although you should and it’s a great start. It happens when you FINISH the book, COMPLETE the exercises, and then….read it again. Keep applying and deepening these principles into your brain.

And remember that you’re awesome just for starting. A lot of people won’t even do that.

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In case you or your talent friends need a positive and quirky guy at your office….

Let’s go get ‘em.

***   ***   ***

Tony News! 

I just held my first ever “Empowered Actor” worshop at Next Door Chicago!

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Markell, Olivia, and Rebekah were SO MUCH FUN to have! 

I’m helping actors feel more confident, discover their self worth, and remember to have fun along the way to that “booking more work” thing.

Know someone who could benefit from this? Email me at tony.rossi@gmail.com

***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

Why I used to hate the phrase, “You’re so young…”

Let’s cut to the chase: This phrase isn’t about age itself.

I used to think it was about something this thing that was out of my control. To an extent, I still think it is. But I also think it’s about not yet understanding things you literally can’t comprehend. (Yet.)

As a 29 year old, I would be lying if I said I had never thought the following phrases: 

-YES! I CAN DO ANYTHING! I SHALL TAKE ON THE WORLD?! 

-You did what? Well. That’s silly. I’m going to do it better by the time I’m your age. (Duh.) 

-You’re just old and bitter. I’m not going to be like that…

I recently found myself socializing with some peers who were a lot younger than me. I found myself thinking, “Wow. They don’t understand things the way I do.” And then started to realize that I don’t understand what my peers older than me do.

I don’t believe it behooves any of us to condescend our younger peers. But I also think there’s some truth to keeping our mouth shut and listening to those who are older than us. They have information and experience that we couldn’t possibly comprehend yet. Oh we will, don’t worry…we’ll do something to screw up, I’m sure….But what IF we could start to comprehend the basics of those concepts before ten years earlier? Wouldn’t you want a taste of that? 

I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

 

Let’s listen to those “old” folk. And gently remind them – they’re not old. They’re wise. There’s a big difference. An awesome difference. 

 

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I’m not saying I wasn’t smart and wise seventeen years ago…..points if you can find me (hint: I had glasses) 

 

Let’s all go get ‘em. Regardless of age.

 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

 

NEWS: You can find me Backstage…

A few months ago, I applied to be a writer at Backstage.com.

Mind you, I didn’t think I actually deserved to do it.

Here’s a list of things the negative voice in my head was telling me….

 

-I can’t write for them. Only successful people do that. 

-Have you seen the credentials of the actors who write for them? 

-You still work day jobs and don’t have your dream agent. You’re not going to be considered. 

-Your hair sucks today. Don’t submit. 

 

(That last one is always my ego’s final attempt to stop me from doing things.)

I had a plethora of reasons not to submit. Yet, there was one good reason to submit that was strong enough to silence the rest: No one is writing about the thing I want to write about. 

Take a look at any successful company or entrepreneur and you’ll see they used their passion to solve a problem that needed solving. Examples include Uber, Stubhub, and even Grubhub. (Hellooooo tacos!)

I realized I love helping my peers recognize their worth before they’ve achieved success. And there wasn’t anyone (that I saw) who was a “beginner” and was doing this.

So I submitted….and got no reply. (Insert “See? I told you!” voice here.)

I almost gave up. Until I realized, “Oh wait. I never heard the word “no.”

So I resubmitted. Got a reply right away 🙂

And here, my friends, is a link to my first article for Backstage.com.

 

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Don’t let anyone – including imaginary negative voices – try to talk you out of something you should be doing.

Let’s go get ’em, friends. .

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

You’re allowed to feel shitty today

Ever find yourself in a mood and beating yourself up for feeling (insert your favorite negative mood here)?

Just yesterday I found myself in one of those moods. Don’t get me wrong – the day had a good start. It was an early morning, but an easy shift with some positive people.

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I don’t usually like gigs like these….but the staff at Bisnow are wonderful. 

The thing is, these shifts make for a very early wake up. Like, a 4:30am wake up. And of course I got to bed late the night previously after my Vagabond School class. Oh, and I just so happened to have a show later that evening.

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Aren’t we cute? Grateful for Broken Nose Theatre this group of people right here

“No worries!” I thought. ” I can totally take my time to rest, nap, and take it easy in between….”

….except I still haven’t figured out this nap thing. ( Like seriously!)

I experienced my normal symptoms of feeling tired, groggy, and cranky following my nap. I wasn’t happy. Which of course led me to get upset about anything and everything for the rest of the afternoon.

And then I said to myself, “You know what – it’s okay to feel shitty today.” And the minute I told myself this, I felt better.

Funny how much pressure we take off ourselves the minute we stop trying to do things right or perfect.

I hope that the next time you’re in a cranky mood, regardless of the reason, you cut yourself some slack and remember, “Hey. I’m human. I’m not a terrible person for being #notperfect.”

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Write it down. Hang it up. I swear it helps.

 

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

3 Things to Try When You Don’t Want To Be Productive

Sometimes we don’t feel like doing the “very important” things we need to do. 

And it’s okay when it happens. 

Like when it happened to me. Yesterday. 

The context: I had plans to go to a coffee shop to do some important work. I specifically picked the location because of how close it was. (And I had a free coffee coupon.) 

What happened: I didn’t make it. I was practically there, but unfortunately I arrived to find the Chicago Police Department blocking off the area before I could get closer. 

What I did from there: I went back home. 

Great story. I know. (Minus the police part. Except I still don’t know what they were protecting me from…) 

What happened next: I got home. I settled in. Made some coffee, and got to work. 

…except I didn’t work. 

In fact, I kept procrastinating. I was checking things I didn’t need to check, then getting upset at myself for not being “better and productive.” Which certainly didn’t help. 

While I tend to get a lot done in the mornings, this just wasn’t happening yesterday. Fortunately I eventually got out of my rut, but it took some time – time that I would have rather spent – well….being productive 😉 

Here are a few things I did that can also help you, should you find yourself in this situation: 

  • Forgive yourself. You’re not a terrible person for not wanting to get things done. You’re human and you’re just not feeling it. You can spend time analyzing why, or researching how to be better. Or….you can just forgive yourself and instead accept however it is that you’re feeling. 

 

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Another gem of a mantra card I got from the wonderful Dallas Travers

 

  • Give yourself permission to “do it wrong.” I was at an awesome workshop last week. We got tips on how to be a more productive entrepreneur. We were specifically told “not to work from our bed”….so guess where I worked from? (Hey. It worked.)  

 

  • Let it go. I ditched my running order of how the day was going to go. I even removed some things from my list for the day. I picked out the non negotiable and went from there. 

Do any of my entrepreneur friends out there like to switch things up? How has this worked for you in the past? Please share below – we got other readers who would love to hear 🙂 

Have a kick ass rest of your week. 

Let’s go get ‘em.

***   ***   ***   

Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

You don’t suck

Post originally written for parlepost.com

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Quote: Jen Sincero

Ever have someone hate you?

I once was tweeting with a director. (Yes. Tweeting with a director. It’s a thing.)

I had auditioned for him previously. He suggested we meet up for coffee. “Yes please!” Unfortunately it never happened. I stopped hearing from him. I attempted to connect with him on Facebook, but he never accepted. This did wonders for my self esteem.

Click here to read full post! 

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Tony. Why do I have to click links?” 

I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But I’ll be linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless. Are you, like, available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what you’re looking for and we’ll see if I’m a good fit!

When Being Right Doesn’t Work

Post originally written for parlepost.com. 

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My name is Tony. And I’m extremely stubborn.

Despite being stubborn, I love to make people feel happier, more confident, and have a better understanding of themselves. In order to have this understanding, it helps to understand others. Which means, if I want to help people in this area, I must do the same. So I’m working on this whole “stubborn” thing and focusing on how to listen better – particularly when I don’t want to…

Click to read the full post! 

***    ***

“Tony. Why do I have to click links now?” 

So glad you asked. Last week I shared that I’m a contributing writer to parlepost.com. In the hopes that I can stay on the team, I’ve asked readers to check out my content on their page.

“So like, is this content any different?” 

Nope! Still me talking in my own voice about taking control and being a happier person.

“Does this mean you’re done posting original content here?” 

Nope! But for now, I’m linking the post that are up.

“Okay fine. I kind of like your content regardless…so…are you available for hire?”

You bet. Shoot me an email at tony.rossi@gmail.com to discuss what I can do for you. Or check out my very official posting here.

I Broke The Rules

My name is Tony Rossi. Sometimes I break the rules. 

I do this every now and then. As other artists and entrepreneurs can attest to, there are periods where you’re not quite making as much money as you’d like. Which may or may not (but definitely will) cause you to do things that you probably shouldn’t be doing. 

There was a time where I did this and it really stuck out. 

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I won’t say where I was or what I was doing because it was highly illegal…okay that’s a stretch. It really wasn’t. I just found a loop hole that allowed me to steal wifi from an establishment that prefers you to give them money for doing so. Seeing as how I had been able to get away with this in the past, I figured…why not try again? So I did. And sure enough, I was recognized “Hey! Good to see you! When you get a chance, can you (actually do that thing where you pay us money because those are clearly part of the rules for being here)?” 

“Yeah! Definitely!” 

…I didn’t do it. 

The next couple hours were fear filled. “Are they going to say something? They’ll probably say something. I should probably leave. Or hide. This is terrible. I’m terrible. I’m a terrible human being. Is there someone behind me? I bet that’s them…

Which of course, only led to more negative thoughts….

“The staff must hate me. They must think I’m a scammer. They probably think I do this in every area of life. I bet they’ll go home tonight, think about how I’m a scammer, and text each other about what a dick I am….”

I should note that my whole reason for coming here in the first place was to feel positive, inspired, and excited to do work which can help me with my goals. Instead, I found myself furiously typing away at a post that I couldn’t wait to upload. (To my free blog.) 

Between my obsession for self help books and learning more about both myself and what others are thinking about, I’ve learned a few things that resonated that day: 

  1. We all could do better with checking in with ourselves. If the point of doing something, going somewhere, or being with somebody are supposed to make you feel good, do yourself a favor and ask if these things actually are helping you feel good. 
  2. Guys. No one cares about you as much as you think they do. I know, I know. This is a harsh truth. But think about a job you’ve worked in the past where you had an encounter with a coworker or customer. It didn’t go well. It pissed you off. You might have thought about them all the way home, complained about them to your significant other over dinner…..and then needed to unwind. With netflix. Or wine. Or both. The point is, we reach a point where we stop caring because we care way more about ourselves. We only care about the thoughts of others because it relates to ourselves. So do yourself a favor and just let it go. 
  3. This isn’t going to fucking matter a year from now. (Or maybe even tomorrow.) If anything, your trial and tribulation from today is going to make for an incredible story down the road. Because down the road, it’ll be just like your netflix and wine night – you’re going to stop caring about it. 

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Gotta love the quotes at Next Door Chicago!

So put things into perspective. Check in with yourself and see how you’re feeling. Realize that no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are. And realize that in the grand scheme of things – this incident really, really isn’t that big of a deal. 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉