Consider This When You Don’t Get the Part

What’s up my friends?! This post was originally written for and published on Backstage.com

There are two factors that always help remind me that I am enough, regardless of what my resume says:

  1. When I practice self-care, a non-negotiable in my book.
  2. When I get hugs and encouragement from friends booking the jobs I wanted to book.

This happened recently while on a three-day shoot. I was an extra. My talented friends, on the other hand, were principles.

One of these friends was named Andrew, who I had met a year prior during my stint as an intern at a casting office. I specifically remember Andrew because he walked into the casting office and crushed his audition. And he nailed the callback. All signs pointed to him booking the role. Spoiler alert: He didn’t book it.

Between takes, Andrew and I got a chance to catch up. We discussed the audition where we met and he even inquired as to who had booked the part. I didn’t know, but I was able to tell him that they ended up casting someone who wasn’t even at callbacks that day.

After Andrew’s callback, the decision makers on the project chose to make Andrew’s character a little bit older. As a result, Andrew was out of the running. They held a third round of callbacks and made a new choice. Of course, poor Andrew was left in the dark about all of this.

I don’t know about you guys, but when I book the room but not the part, my negative chatter (I call mine Fred) can get a little aggressive.

“You totally didn’t say the lines right.” 

“You should have worn something different.”

“You didn’t actually do as well as you think you did. In fact, you should probably call your old boss because you’re clearly meant to be a waiter the rest of your life.”

The thing is, you probably did book the part. You probably did a great read with the lines. But in this business, there are often factors that are out of our control. There certainly are things you can control that do warrant some focus and self-talk, but let’s also recognize and accept the plethora of other factors we need to let go of.

To all the Andrews out there who are talented, funny, and charming as hell on set, keep it up. You’re doing great. There are people who realize it, even if they can’t give you the part right now. It’s only a matter of time until it’s your turn. When it is your turn, let me know on Twitter so I can give you a shoutout!

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

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And when all else fails – take a break and unplug from the biz and see a Cubs game! (That’s Andrew on the left) 

 

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Hey! Did you check out the Tony Rossi Show podcast yet? 

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website

Oh – and I’m now on iTunes! #TonyRossiShow

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“You might as well win in your own fantasies.” 

I don’t dislike work.

I wake up early on my days off. I exercise. I set aside business hours for acting, writing, and big picture goals. Unfortunately, most of this list doesn’t pay much. (Or anything.) I don’t dislike work. I just like a lot of work that doesn’t pay.

In January of this year, one of my part time jobs showed a decrease in shifts. I realized this would likely continue and that I would need to figure something out and soon. So I launched what I called my “creative income pursuit” – a search for day jobs working for people and places that inspire and uplift me. To no one’s surprise, there’s a lot more places hiring right now that would do anything but inspire and uplift me. And with each passing day, that negative voice looooves to chime in with his thoughts on my well being:

“Tony. You still haven’t figured this out yet. You know that, right? You can’t just keep doing this ‘work fun jobs’ thing forever. And if you really want to be happy, start dating, and buy new workout equipment, you’re going to have to, like, start making more money, And besides, how do you expect to be a well rounded human outside of acting if you’re not making any money? Seriously Tony…” 

Fortunately, I love distracting myself with positive and uplifting videos and audios. I found another good one shortly after one of my many spirals of negative thoughts the other night. It was from the monthly Dallas Travers Hot Seat Coaching Call that I get to from my Thriving Artist Circle membership. While coaching an actor, she shared a gem that she picked up from her spiritual psychology training: 

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I also like to write down cool quotes I hear and then hang them up in my apartment

Isn’t it fascinating how quickly we go to the negative? 

I often refer to that negative voice as a person. I call him Fred. Fred likes to “keep me safe” by pointing out all the gloom and doom scenarios that might or might not happen. Meanwhile, there’s another voice. I call her “cute girl who likes my hair.” What’s great about cute-girl is that she is much more kind and loving than Fred. 

“Hey you! First off, I love your blogs. They’re so funny! You’re adorable. Anyway, just wanted to say I noticed that you the other day you actually submitted for four gigs yesterday that you prefer not to work. That’s great that you’re taking action, even though it doesn’t exactly fall in line with your “creative income pursuit.”  Also, did I see you applied for two writing gigs and two talent agenicies in the past twenty four hours? Look at youuuu! Did I mention I love your hair…?” 

Let me be clear: Both voices are fake. Neither are real people talking…So…why not make up something awesome?

Let’s be happy.

Let’s go get ‘em. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to write first person blogs on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him attony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

How we can turn life problems into gifts

The other day I got a bill.

There were several unpleasantries about this:

  • I had no idea this bill was coming
  • I really couldn’t afford this bill
  • Other monthly bills are about to increase
  • Did I mention my hours decreased at work because the holidays are over?

Initial thoughts of “This is rather unfortunate,” quickly escalated to, “MY LIFE IS TERRIBLE AND I’M NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT AS AN ACTOR.”

While I never would have admitted this at the time, this situation was a great lesson for me. Here were some takeaways:

Take a break from the problem:

“The higher the level of emotion, the lower your level of reasoning is.”

Eric Thomas, “Secrets to Success”

When we’re upset, we create a lot of lies in our head. They’re evil. Don’t listen to them.

Take a break and step away from the problem at hand. As much as we want to try and fix the problem right then and there, our irrational minds aren’t going to handle things very well. Furthermore, if it’s a problem that we literally can’t fix in that moment, we’re wasting our energy. Save it for when you can focus on what you can fix, rather than dwell on what you can’t.

Be open to an easy solution

In the heat of the moment we don’t consider this at all. In fact, many of us don’t consider this option even when we are a bit calmer. Sometimes life has answers for us that are only available if we’re willing to see them.

Right before bed, it popped in my head that there might be payment plan options. Not only that, but there was a note on the bill I completely missed. It mentioned to call them if you were having any issues making payments. (Shocker I didn’t see this during my tantrum.)

Pain can be a good thing

Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

– Tony Robbins

Ever fell off track with a diet? Stopped going to the gym? Started slacking on your acting goals? Chances are your current situation isn’t causing enough pain for you to do something about it.

This bill caused me pain. So much so that I didn’t take action on that one bill. I took action on several.

  • I called my healthcare provider and asked about cheaper options.
  • I chatted with Comcast about my internet package and asked about cheaper options.
  • I called about the bill and admitted I couldn’t afford to pay it.

The results were okay:

  • A rep walked me through new and cheaper healthcare options.
  • I negotiated my internet payment to only five dollars more a month. I also got cable included. We’re having a viewing party. (And I hope you’re okay with 60 of 75 channels in Espanol.)
  • I got things taken care of with the bill. I even paid it in full. Turns out….they made a mistake and it was about $200 higher than it was supposed to be 🙂

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I celebrated by crumbling the original bill and taking a selfie

Don’t get me wrong: Life doesn’t always give us the “Sorry, we messed up” card. That was just icing on the cake. The big takeaway here is that the pain of staying the same forced action that I wouldn’t have otherwise taken. It was only after this and stepping away from the problem temporarily that I was able to move forward and fix things. (Note: This becomes easier as you start to feed your mind with more positive books and materials.)

Above all else, just remember that when you’re stressed and upset, a bunch of lies will flood into your head. Don’t listen to them. I promise, you’re still awesome even when you’re stressed.

Go get ‘em.
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