The difference between being negative and being genuine. (It’s not what you think.) 

…okay maybe it’s what you think. 

Just recently, I came home to my apartment after returning to a visit to the Boston area. 

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Not wanting to break routine, I proceeded to through my usual vacation withdrawals at first. “What? Back to reality? Back to day jobs? Ugh…” I decided I needed something Boston related to get me through the next few days. And since nothing makes me happier than the Red Sox, I figured listening to some baseball would do the trick. 

Good news: I have a membership that allows me to listen to any baseball game I want! 

Bad news: …it wasn’t working. 

Three phone calls and multiple conversations with both Google Play and MLB At Bat reps resulted in….no answers. 

The follow day, I called again. This time I got a rep named Cara from Oklahoma. 

Truthfully, Cara didn’t sound particularly enthusiastic to talk to me. And I couldn’t say I blamed her – I was calling to get help with something that really didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. I love baseball – but I don’t need baseball. (Playoffs excluded. Obviously.) Yet I was surprised when apologized to me for not sounding more energetic. “I’m really not feeling well,” she admitted.

Her honesty allowed us to have an awesome conversation. She wasn’t being fake, pretending like she was thrilled to be at work (even though I’m sure her boss wouldn’t approve.) She was honest and I even got to learn more about her. She loves baseball, hockey, and was looking to get back into a career in singing! I loved everything about this. 

She also scored extra points when she solved my problem and got Tony Rossi some baseball back into his life. 

Now had Cara gone on to vent to me about how much she hated her job, hated being sick, etc. this would have been a different blog post. But I personally love when I get a sense of honesty from someone who is on the clock and serving me. 

In a nutshell, I can’t stand fake. I blame the corporate environment for this, and not their employees – who are most likely not getting paid enough to even be there in the first place. 

The way to be genuine is to be yourself without venting. I love getting a sense of the person behind the mandatory smile. But let’s also not confuse this with getting a free pass to bitch and moan that we’re on the clock in the first place. 

So friends, be on the lookout for more ways to be yourself without going into a tailspin of “this sucks and here’s why.” 

And if all else fails – tweet broadcaster Tim Neverett and let him know where you’re listening from. He likes when you do this. 

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Don’t worry, I wasn’t being negative. They were broadcasting an extra inning game. And doing it wonderfully. 

 

Let’s go get ‘em, friends. 


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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

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Wanna see more? Check out my actor website! 

I also have a YouTube Channel with weekly #SundayVideos where I share how to take control over our thoughts and feelings on facebook live! 

 

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A cool trick, plus acknowledging when life’s hard

Earlier today I read a great blog post by Andrea Shulman.

It recommended checking your mood prior to “checking in” on your goal. If you’re not in a good mood, hold off on checking the goal. I loved this concept. I even jotted down a few to incorporate this with my fitness groups.

Later on, I sat down to write this lovely blog….except I didn’t check my mood. (It wasn’t positive).

Instead of writing, I checked facebook. I purchased a ticket to a show, checked my inbox to see how many messages I needed to get back to, and checked the Red Sox schedule to see how much longer I needed to wait to hear Joe Casitiglione’s voice. The last thing I wanted to do was write and tell all my friends how awesome and positive life is.

What’s the moral here? Actually, there’s two. They’re both important.

1) We can use the “check in with yourself” approach in any scenario.

I’ve caught myself thinking that I’m happier than I am because I know that’s how I want to feel. Be honest with yourself. If you’re not honest and can’t figure out how you actually feel, you’re not going to reach the better mood you’re striving for.

2) Reading positive books, eating better foods, and exercising daily is a great way to set you up for success. Just remember that you’re human and are still prone to bad days.

When reconnecting with friends, many comment on my positive posts, videos and statuses. I’m grateful they’re affecting others. At the same time, I fear I give off the impression that I’m always smiling, in a great mood, and eating raw vegetables.

You guys…

I have bad days.

I cry sometimes.

I often question whether I’m doing things right.

I catch myself comparing myself to others (when I know I shouldn’t).

And I really like cheese.

Going after goals is hard. There’s going to be a struggle. You’re allowed to struggle.

Check in with yourself. If you’re struggling, give yourself time.

And then, get back up.

Go get ‘em.

What Are You Looking For?

It’s easy to fall into the trap of “I have no control over the way I feel about this.” A lot of us think that we’re on a raft that’s floating down a river (a very windy river, if your raft was near Marina City and you were doing extra work at 8:00am). We’re just along for the ride, right?

Um, no. Not right.

Sure, there are things that are beyond our control. But our emotions aren’t one of them. This is just a friendly reminder that we get to feel the way we want. We just need to be looking for the things that make us feel this way. (Also, if 24 hours ago Tony is around, please tell him to give this a read. He could really use this reminder before his shift.)

This morning, I focused on things that made me happy and came up with a list:

-Today is the home opener for both the Red Sox and Cubs.

-I have a day off today!

-It is NOT snowing (this one really trumps the rest)

-I do not have to spend my morning/afternoon in a restaurant

-Starting late next week, I only have to spend two days a week in a restaurant. Fewer shifts, more free time, less stress = Happy Tony

-I got one of my “ideal Tony mornings” today (Sorry, I swear I wasn’t planning on referring to myself in the third person this much.) Basically, an “ideal Tony morning” means waking up at my convenience (today was 8:00am), shower, make breakfast, and figure out my day as I drink coffee out of my Salem State mug. I. Love. These. Mornings. I can ease into the day. Plus, coffee tastes twice as good coming from my Salem State mug. Speaking of which…

-I’m coming home this month. [There is an uproar from all who hail from New England!] Thank you, thank you! I should specify that I haven’t figured out details, never mind buy my plane ticket. [Applause dies down.] I haven’t figured out dates, haven’t figured out if I need to take time off work, and really should check in with my friends to see if it’s cool if I crash with them for a few days. But I’m not worried. Because it’s all going to work. I miss my friends too much for it not to.

Those are seven bullet points that I just came up with off the top of my head. I could have easily pulled out some negatives from most of these. But I’m not looking for those. I don’t feel like being in a bad mood (and I really don’t want to write two blogs today).

I will say this: If you’re reading this and are from New England, there’s a 99% chance I miss you. (There’s a 1% chance you’re from New England and live in Chicago. In which case, I’ll see you for a Sox game soon.) Instead on focusing on being sad, how about that Red Sox family I have in Chicago?

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Happy Opening Day everyone!

Always remember that we find what we’re looking for. Positives and negatives alike.

What types of things do you want to try and find today?