Why You’re Having a Bad Day

I was having a bad day. And it didn’t seem like I could improve it.

One of the benefits of being a #MyBigYear2017 member is the monthly calls with Courtney Rioux. (You can also sign up on her website to receive info for her free calls if this concept intrigues you.) A question Courtney sometimes asks us is, “Are you willing to see things differently?” I remember the first time I heard her ask this. I realized that each time I posted in our group or shared thoughts on a call, I was sharing them to vent. Not to hear an answer. In order to get that answer that deep down I ultimately wanted, I needed to see things differently. And to see things differently, I needed to be okay with being “wrong” about the way I was currently seeing things. 

A thought Courtney shares is, “You can choose to be happy or you can choose to be right.” I constantly need this reminder because, well….I like be right! 🙂 And the funny thing is, I think that by being right, I’ll automatically be happy. Usually it works the opposite. 

Back to my bad day: I wasn’t in a good mood and I had a lot of things I wanted to get done. Yet with the mood I was in, I wasn’t just unmotivated. But I grew more frustrated every time I started a new task. I quickly realized that this wasn’t the state I wanted to be in when doing things like answering emails and submitting to different theatre companies. 

I took a walk. (Okay, I went to Walgreens. I needed toilet paper.) 

I got home. I listened to Ross Grant do his bi-weekly #ActOnThisTV periscope.

And slowly, I started to feel better. (Cubs rallying in the 9th for a day game at Wrigley? Bonus points.)

It wasn’t until after all of these things that I started to be willing to see things differently. And once I was willing to see things differently, I was able to do the things that made me happy. 

Next time you’re in a bad mood ask yourself: Are you willing to see things differently? Or do you want to complain? If you want to complain, chances are you just want to be right. (Trust me, I get it.) And if you want to be right, perhaps right now is not the thing to solve your problem.

Take a break from the problem. In fact, watch this

I know, right? Cubs will do that to you.

Cubs .jpg

Thanks Cubbie Instagram for the pic. You make my blog look good. (Also – follow the Cubbies on instagram.)

Let’s go get ‘em friends. 

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see 😉 

There’s Always Time To Be Happy

You can thank my new favorite actor in the UK, Ross Grant, for this post.

I found Ross on YouTube recently and have been following him since. He periscopes three times a week sharing mind hacks and motivational messages. He also has a “book club” where he goes into specific chapters of some fantastic personal development books.

…so you can see why I like Ross.

On Wednesday he discussed time management and debunked the myth of “there’s not enough time.” (You can watch the replay here).

The best part of learning to manage your time is that we lose excuses (and you know I love that.) In this case, the excuse is “I don’t have time to do the things that will make me happier.” Ultimately, it comes down to whether or not we actually want to make a change.

Spoiler alert: If you’re unhappy, it probably means you’re unwilling to do things differently that will create change.

How about waking up early?

“Tony. I am not a morning person.” If you’ve said that before, it’s true – you’re not a morning person. Not only that, but you’ll never be one as long as you keep saying it. So stop saying it. Our brains are scanning for ways to prove the things we tell ourselves to be true. By saying this, you’re going to focus on the negatives that come from early mornings. Start finding what you actually enjoy and go from there. (Coffee, anyone? 😉 )

How about watching less TV?

I’ve covered this before: I used to spend hours every day watching Netflix. On the plus side, I knew a lot about Eric Tayor and the Dylan Panthers. On the other…..I wasn’t making much progress on my acting career. It might not be as fun to cut out your TV time. Consider the fact that this thing you “need to have” is coming from craving an escape from the things that are making you unhappy. By putting more time into your goals, you don’t need that escape. Instead, that time is your rest and relaxation time – and you deserve it. (Just not as much!)

And yes. I still watch TV. (Just not as much.)

So…What’s your decision?

Last Tuesday was election day in Chicago. And on social media, election days are always the same: “If you don’t go out and vote, you don’t get to complain about the way things are going later.”

If you’re unwilling to make a change, you don’t get to complain how your life is going later. You don’t get to complain about your job. You don’t get to complain about how there’s not enough time. And you don’t get to complain about celebrities or successful friends who are doing better than you. You can start taking action towards being better. Today.

Be happier.Spend your time wisely. Unless, of course, you’re happy with the way things are going. In that case, by all means, tell Eric Taylor I say hello.

Go get ‘em.

I’m Giving You Permission To Give Up

Today we’re going to talk about giving up.

This is different than when you’re in a bad mood and thinking irrationally. We’re talking, you had a great night’s sleep, a healthy breakfast, and didn’t hit any traffic on your commute to work. You’re want to giving up. You could literally let go of that big and awesome goal you’ve had for years right now, no problem.

Disclaimer: I don’t like this topic.

I want everyone to go after their crazy, awesome life. At the same time, author Brendan Buchard made me realize something in his book “The Charge.” (This is one of those moments where I’m quoting a book I haven’t read yet, so forgive me for paraphrasing. And thank Ross Grant for sharing this topic on his periscope recently.) Brendan talks about the different ways we “break out of the cage” and start taking action towards that crazy awesome life I’m always promoting. The part that really hit me was when I learned that “not everyone has broken free from the cage.” And then there was this part:

“….not everyone will.”

That phrase broke my heart. I believe all of us have potential. I will always promote going after your goals regardless of your current situation because there really are no limits to what we can achieve.

And yet, there are some who will still never, ever take these messages to heart. It kills me.

Some of you may have heard the expression that you can “lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it to drink.” So here’s my message to those of you who don’t want to take a sip of water. (Side note: You’re missing out. This is damn good water.)

That crazy awesome goal of yours? Just let it go.

Sure, it would be great to lose weight. It would be great to work a job that makes you happier. But let it go. You’re not doing anything about. So let it go.

Goals are supposed to make you feel good. If you’re thinking about a goal that you’ve been putting off for years, it’s lingering in your head and making you feel guilty. And let me tell you something about guilt: It’s heavy. You’re carrying it around with you all day and it’s not serving you. It might even be hurting your relationships because you’re resenting those who are actually doing something about it. Let it go.

Of course…..I won’t end on that note. Come on. It’s still me here who is doing the talking. You do have another option: You can finally do something about it.

You can take the plunge or start small. Hell, if you start small and keep up consistently, you’re going to have the wheels spinning before you know it. Eventually it’ll be more painful to stop than it is now to get started.

But if you’re not, do yourself a favor. Let it go and release the guilt that you’re carrying around all day. It’s not worth it.

The choice is yours.

Go get ‘em, friends.