Are You Being Humble? Or Just Negative?

It took me a year, but I finally did it: I accomplished my goal of booking a commercial in my hometown of Boston. I did a celebratory dance in my studio apartment…quietly, of course. I still have neighbors. And a creaky floor…

This would be the first “crazy awesome” story I’d get to take back home with me.

“Yeah! I have booked some cool projects lately…”

“Actually – you might see me in this one!”

“Hey! Remember that cool audition I told you about from last week?”

Now for the facts: This wasn’t a life changing gig. It was a non union commercial. There wouldn’t be residuals. Next thing I knew, I was sharing news to my peers in Chicago about it…with a negative twist.

In fact, I also found myself stressing out more when I learned more details about the gig and how I’d be getting to set.

What happened here?

I recently learned from Darren Hardy (free daily videos at that we all enjoy heightened emotions. This is why we enjoy things like roller coasters or horror films. (Unless your name is Tony Rossi – in which case, you ask your friends if they’d rather watch a gushy, feel good romantic comedy instead….) At the same time, we get attached to emotions such as stress because they too are heightened emotions.

After learning this, I realized there was a familiar pattern with a lot of my stories lately: All of my career related stories I had been telling my friends had a negative twist to them!

“Yeah, I booked a commercial….but it’s just a non union one.” 

“Yeah, I’m living in Chicago as an actor….but I also have several day jobs.”

“Yeah I got to fly home for a week…but I pretty much stayed with my parents the whole time. (Hey, shut up….I got so much free food!)

Since I learned this, I recognized that I wasn’t being humble. I wasn’t being “honest.” I was just putting a negative spin on the story in order to feed my ego and keep my body in stress mode. I don’t even want to think about what this was doing to my overall health…

So I set the intention to change things. When I checked in with my accountability partner, I told her I was going to go back home and share news with my friends in a more positive light.

And you know what? It worked.

And you know what else? It felt good!

And you really wanna know something? All those things that we think people care about – union vs non union, usage rates, and national vs local gigs….no one cares about. Except maybe you.

But that’s a story for another blog.

All this is to say you can relax and embrace your wins, without putting a “realistic” (aka negative) twist on them.

“You can’t build on success you can’t acknowledge” – Dallas Travers \

Let’s go get ‘em friends.


And a happy belated #OneBoston day to all my friends back home 

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Email me! Let me know how I can help.

Same goes for questions – you can ask those for free 😉 

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagramYouTube, or check out my actor website


How a bunny rabbit reminded me to be happy

In 2009 I decided I was going to move to Chicago.

I was about to enter my senior year. During class the previous semester, a professor mentioned some cities around the country that are great for pursuing theatre. Chicago was one of them. Seeing that I had an aunt and uncle living in the city, plus always wanted to try living outside of New England, I decided to check it out.

I contacted my aunt and uncle and booked a flight.

While I don’t remember all the details, I remember the first night of my first visit very well. The weather was nice, so I went for a walk with the two of them around their neighborhood. I specifically remember this because we saw a little guy cross our way…


Actual bunny from that day 

Okay I lied. That wasn’t the actual bunny. (But it is AN actual bunny, guys…)

I wasn’t used to seeing bunnies randomly on the sidewalk. 21 year old Tony was thrilled. That trip, I decided I was moving to Chicago. (I suppose a couple of other things influenced my decision.)

It wasn’t an easy transition after the “I’m going to move!” honeymoon phase ended. I remember being scared about so many things: Would I have any friends? Would I get cast in anything? Will I be able to afford my rent? How do I even get an apartment? We’ll save Long story short, it all worked out. (A lot of credit goes to my family and other kind souls…we’ll save that for a future post 🙂 )

Fast forward seven years and two weeks:

I was taking a walk. It was another beautiful night. I usually don’t take walks at night, but I needed to get out of my apartment for a bit. I was stressed. I felt behind on my goals. I was about to enter hell week for my workout program (check #TonyDoesHell week for updates!) and wasn’t looking forward to it. And we won’t even get into the confidence issues I was having that night.

Then I saw a little guy. A little guy I hadn’t seen in seven years….


Same actual bunny from that day

Okay I’m totally kidding. There’s no way it was the same one.

But I did see another bunny rabbit. And I thought back to my first day visiting Chicago and realized what I have been missing: I’ve overcame a lot to get to where I am. Now I’m living in my own apartment, paying my own bills, have an agent, and am auditioning for projects that make me stupid excited just to show up for. In comparison to where I started, I realized this: I am successful.

It’s easy to get weighed down by everything that life does. I think it’s even easier to forget how far we’ve come and all the good things are happening because it’s so freaking simple to focus on the negatives.

I hope you’ll join me in continuing to seek the good things that are right in front of us. I’d love to hear about them in the comments below.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

Stop it. You’re not a bad person. (VLOG)

I got home in a bad mood.

I had zero reason to be upset this day. The night before was awesome. The morning was great. And yet – I still arrived back home feel cranky, upset, and stressed.

God I hate when I’m stressed after a good day. Why can’t I just be normal and enjoy the good things going without worrying about the bad?

Thankfully, I’ve had a lot of positive mentors relaying a bunch of powerful thoughts to me recently. Some of these were live. Others were through audios and recorded videos. And after listening to some of them that morning – I finally started to relax.

And then I got really excited…..and made a video about it.

Screen Shot 2017-08-02 at 1.38.12 PM

Why I stopped stressing out….Click the image to watch! (5 minutes)

Stop it. Give yourself some credit for being so caring. And then from that empowering place, we can finally start to fix whatever it is needs fixing.

Oh, and for the record – we don’t need fixing. We’re awesome exactly as we are. We’re just human and we need some growth and change from time to time.

Let’s go get ’em.

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Thanks for reading, friends. 

If you don’t know me – I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

-Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

-Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel

You are abundant. You are enough.

I learned this weekend at the Bodhi Spiritual Center that I suffer from “not enough ness.” It’s a terrible thing. 

The following is a list of things I frequently find myself wanting more of: 



-Airline Miles


-Groceries in my fridge (because I always forgot to pick up something)

-Apartment accessories


-Warmer weather

-Cooler weather (in the summertime)  


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone through this list in my head. I think of how much easier life could be. How much less stress I’d have. How much more enjoyment I’d have. But first, I’d clearly need more things on this list. 

Because I’m such a big advocate of personal development materials, I’ve learned that getting these things won’t actually bring me the joy I want…..why is this? 

When we suffer from “not enough-ness” we are coming from a place of lack. Coming from a place of lack is not an empowering way to make us happy. When we come from a place of lack, we might gain temporary fulfillment by achieving things on our list. But it’s not sustainable and it doesn’t bring us longterm happiness – which is what we all are ultimately seeking. 

The truth is, we need to come from a place of abundance and gratitude. 

“But Tony. How can I come from a place of abundance when I don’t have enough?”

1. Ask yourself, “Is this is true?” Often we think we don’t have enough money, but the truth is we have plenty. We just choose to spend it on other things. For example, I’ve been putting off purchasing workout equipment for a while now “because I don’t have enough money.” Yet over the weekend, I found myself spending much more money than I planned on for food and drinks while celebrating the Patriots AFC Championship game. (Note: The real reason I did this was to fulfill my other need of “not having enough fun lately.” See how coming from lack doesn’t help here?) There’s no need to beat ourselves up when this happens. That’s also not serving us. Rather, this is something we can do to better evaluate the truth, and then take action to fix it from that empowering place.

2. Identify the areas you are abundant in. While I might not have the income I want right now, I do have an abundance in other areas. Currently, this includes time. I’m not always abundant in time. But right now, because work has slowed down, I have more of it. It’s led to more activities that I’ve been waiting to do for a while, but had previously dismissed because of my schedule. These activities also make me feel more abundant with fun. (Despite that I still feel the need for more.) You do have an abundance, friends. It just might not be in that area you’re focusing on. 

Please remember: Realize that what you resist persists. If you’re coming from a place of lack, you’re resisting something negative. If you’re a believer in the Law of Attraction – and I am – you know that you draw in whatever it is you’re focusing on. Instead, focus on the thing you do want. Attract more of that thing instead. 

I’ll end this with a quote from one my new favorite authors, Jennifer Sincere. She ends each chapter of her book, “You are a Badass” by reminding us… 

“Love yourself.” 

And in one instance…

“Love yourself. You’re doing an awesome job.” 

I need that reminder. Constantly. 

I am enough. You are too. Love yourselves, friends. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 


One of my favorite ways to remind myself of how abundant I am is by writing in my Spotlight journal every morning. 


Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field 🙂 He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their terms. Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life at

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you share his content with friends and family.

How Being Healthy Caused Me Extra Stress

Many of you know that I’m a health and fitness accountability coach. I started a year ago and couldn’t be more grateful. I’m helping others, plus am constantly learning about workouts and nutrition.

Prior to this, I did the whole gym thing. For some, this is exactly what they need. For me, I was guessing (and mainly guessing wrong). I knew very little about weights or cardio. I didn’t know anything about nutrition. Forget about those abs I had wanted since forever.

Fast forward to today: I workout from home. I love my body. My nutrition plan is my favorite. And I recently got abs. So like, I’m pretty sexy now.

…I mean, I don’t look like Shaun T.

Shaun T

The rest of the body though? Oh that’s so me. Particularly the facial hair…#notreally

While I’m thrilled with how far I’ve gotten, it hasn’t been an easy journey. Eating clean takes a lot of work and preparation. Getting in my workouts sometimes means waking up extra early. I also took on some harder goals: Avoiding food three hours before bed, plus saved cheat days to just once a week.

This became easy enough when I didn’t have anything going on. I quickly learned, however, this was increasingly difficult on days where I had to, like, be a real person and leave the apartment. I refused to accept this as a day of adjustments. Not getting in my “perfect Tony routine” meant failing – which led to lots of stress and frustration.

I started avoiding the outside world. I was socializing less and rarely submitted for work – the kind that was, you know, paying my bills.

Granted, I was in the best shape of my life. But I was also pretty miserable.


I most certainly could have used more of this….

There’s a rumor going around that once we reach a certain point in our careers or lifestyle that we’ll all of a sudden be happy. Unfortunately, this rumor is false. (And if you know who started it, send them to me right away…) By putting our happiness on hold, we’re likely to feel unsatisfied as we start accomplishing our goals.

Should you ever find yourself in a situation similar to mine, here’s what I recommend:

1) Make happiness a priority. I wanted abs because I learned having a body I’m proud of makes me happy. Yet I finally had abs and was very much not happy. What could you be doing as you go about your goals to keep you happy?

2) Avoid perfection. Perfection is dumb. And it doesn’t exist. What areas could you allow yourself to be a little more laid back in? Want to know another cool trick? Failure actually helps us get better.

3) Learn to appreciate the journey. It’s not always about the final destination. Sometimes there is no destination – it’s literally a lifelong road!

Keeping all this in mind, enjoy the process. Seek failure. And then call me so we can eat chocolate together. (This has been sitting in my bag since Friday….)

2015-03-11 15.57.42

Go get ‘em, friends.

Priorities Are Important. Don’t Skip This One.

I’m an organized guy, yes?

[Guys in the back loudly disagree.]

Okay, you got me there. While I’m not the most organized person, I’ve gotten better with areas I previously struggled in. Like priorities.

It’s one thing to know your priorities. It’s another to put them on paper in order of most important to least. I felt pretty damn good once I started to learn my own.  Though admittedly, I didn’t bother to order them. “Eh…whatever. They’re all my priorities. I’ll figure it out.” Between my acting goals, coaching goals, overall health goals, and finances, I thought I was all set.

And when we’re all set, it’s normal to go to bed incredibly stressed out every night, yes?

Since I quit waiting tables and got my own apartment, I have less stress than I’ve had in years. Where on earth was this coming from?

Then I heard a voice: “Make happiness your priority.”

What?! Who said that? GOD?!

…it wasn’t God. It was Shawn Anchor in an interview I was listening to. (I did mention I was listening to a Shawn Anchor interview, right?)

Hmm…happiness…..How the hell am I supposed to be happy if I’m not working on my goals? How am I supposed to be happy if I have no money? And I’m certainly not going to be happy if I don’t have a six pack….

(….maybe I’ll be okay without the six pack. )

All of these are all important. Just not at the expense of my happiness.

Working on my coaching business and acting goals are a priority. They make me happy, especially when they bring in that thing called money. What I’m learning is that I can be happy working on these every day for a certain amount of time, without spending all of my time working too much without taking breaks or making time for social activities.

Then there’s health: I’ve reached a goal where I stopped giving into instant gratification and refuse to indulge in cheat meals unless it’s specifically a cheat day. While I’m proud of this goal, I’m learning that I let it contribute to more stress. I had learned how easy it was to stay home and skip shows and activities without the worry of food and sleep. The more I stayed home and skipped going out, the more unhappy I was getting.

These are all areas I’ll be more comfortable in a month from now. At which point, I’ll probably be able to talk about this topic even better (Not to mention write a better blog post….) Regardless, here’s my biggest takeaway so far: We should focus on how to go about our goals and priorities in a way that makes us happy. This might not always be the “right” way to go about it, or the way our friends and family tell us. While we don’t want to shun advice from others, it’s okay to stray from the path that’s often classified as “the way you should do it.”

I had been so focused on what motivational speakers have been telling me in interviews, youtube videos, and even social media posts, that I wasn’t focusing on how I felt. Well now….that’s just silly.

Don’t be silly. Just…be happy. 🙂 Go get’ em, friends.

It’s a Good Thing to Have Life Problems



Does life ever give you too many problems? 


Have I ever mentioned that I tend to stress? [Guys in the back agree loudly] Yeahhh, I stress out. Like, a lot. Want to see my current list of things stressing me out? [Guys in the back protest loudly] Excellent! Here it is:


-Not making enough progress on non-acting projects

-Not making enough progress on acting goals

-Signing up for healthcare

-Managing new expenses (See “Signing up for Healthcare”)

-Other stressful things that that will come up after I post this, because, let’s be honest, there are always more stressful things coming up.

Recently I was having a conversation with a large group of people in my head (you know, like normal people do). I was giving advice to these people on having problems and being stressed. But I told them not to worry. “It’s a good thing when you have a lot of problems. That means you’re on the right track!”


What the hell was that? Why would I say that to them? Can you imagine if these people were, like, real people?

Then I had a thought: What if I’m right? If I’m right, then it’s okay that all these problems are constantly coming up. Between this new thought about being right, combined with not actually knowing why I was right, you can understand how I had a lot on my plate this week.

Quick tangent: Does anyone post on facebook about things they’re grateful for? We’re so eager to post about the things we don’t like. It’s nice when you have friends who constantly are posting about positives.

This is why I love being friends with Ali, who is constantly doing this. She posted a gem the other day that really got me thinking: “I am so grateful for some of my past hurts because they are ways I can help people who are going through them, currently.”

First off all, thank you Ali for trying to make facebook a better place. I can’t tell you how many friends I have who always are complaining.

*Loud grunt from the back*

Peter! Sorry, I keep forgetting you’re here.

Second, this confirmed my “What if I’m right?” theory. There’s this awesome Dallas Travers video that I always watch. She tells us to “seek failure.” I’ve been forgetting to seek it out myself. I can’t tell you how much failure I’ve had over the past couple of months. Since I wasn’t “looking for it,” I wasn’t able to appreciate it. Not only will I be able to share these failures with others who are later going through them, but I’m going to learn from them and become a better person.

How awesome is that?

What are some areas in your life where you can start seeking failure?