Why You’re Not As Happy As You Could Be Right Now

Wow….that’s a morbid title, isn’t it?

I want to emphasize this varies for everyone. It’s based on things like work life, social life, health and nutrition, or whether or not you have an awesome goal you’re hoping to achieve – but keep putting off. You might be happy with all of these….in which case, we need to hangout. I’m always looking for more positive and people in my life. (Like, seriously).

So how do we learn whether or not these are areas that are preventing us from being happy? Go back to that list I just mentioned. As you read, notice whether or not any one of those topics make you cringe. Then dig deeper.

…I know, I know. Digging deeper isn’t fun when it comes to things that make us cringe. Try not to focus on how uncomfortable it feels. Rather, think about how this is a small step towards making that area less stressful. Which then leads to a happier YOU 🙂

Okay, so you’ve sucked it up and dug deeper: Why am I unhappy in this area? What’s stopping me from making progress? Here’s a common reason:

There are rules in your head that are stopping you from overcoming obstacles. We call these limiting beliefs. These beliefs vary from “I’m not good enough,” to “That won’t work,” to “That’s only something that other people can do.” How these beliefs got there in the first place can vary. What’s important is getting rid of them. And to get rid of them, we need to recognize them. The scary part is we usually don’t know that these beliefs even exist. Before I started working with Courtney Rioux, I didn’t know I had any limiting beliefs. (Now I know that I have several hundred.) If this wicked awesome blog post you’re reading right now isn’t enough to break your limiting beliefs, you may want to consider a coach yourself.

If that’s not for you, or you want to start smaller (and I always am a fan of starting small), I recommend incorporating personal development into your daily routine. Doing this consistently over time will help you recognize these beliefs without even trying. I personally recommend audio: Books, interviews, motivational speakers, etc. I like audio because of what I can get done while I’m listening: Cooking, cleaning, showering, driving, etc. We don’t always have time to sit down for an hour and listen to a motivational speaker. But we all have time to do things like shower.

(And if you don’t….we do not need to hangout….regardless of how positive you are….)

If you do have time for reading (even ten pages a day), here are some books I recommend:

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“The Compound Effect” – Darren Hardy

“The War of Art” – Steven Pressfield

“Failing Forward” – John C Maxwell

“Eat That Frog!” – Brian Tracy

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” – Dale Carnegie

I have plenty more 🙂 But to avoid overwhelm, start with those. Hell, just start with ONE. Again – start small. If you’re not a reader yet, start with “The War of Art.” The longest chapter is about four pages.

Have you ever discovered a limiting belief that you didn’t know you had before? Share below in the comments section!

And then…have a great week! IT’S ALMOST MARCH 🙂

If you know someone who might enjoy this post, I’d love for you to share with them! And if you wanted to share on social media, I wouldn’t be upset either….

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Priorities Are Important. Don’t Skip This One.

I’m an organized guy, yes?

[Guys in the back loudly disagree.]

Okay, you got me there. While I’m not the most organized person, I’ve gotten better with areas I previously struggled in. Like priorities.

It’s one thing to know your priorities. It’s another to put them on paper in order of most important to least. I felt pretty damn good once I started to learn my own.  Though admittedly, I didn’t bother to order them. “Eh…whatever. They’re all my priorities. I’ll figure it out.” Between my acting goals, coaching goals, overall health goals, and finances, I thought I was all set.

And when we’re all set, it’s normal to go to bed incredibly stressed out every night, yes?

Since I quit waiting tables and got my own apartment, I have less stress than I’ve had in years. Where on earth was this coming from?

Then I heard a voice: “Make happiness your priority.”

What?! Who said that? GOD?!

…it wasn’t God. It was Shawn Anchor in an interview I was listening to. (I did mention I was listening to a Shawn Anchor interview, right?)

Hmm…happiness…..How the hell am I supposed to be happy if I’m not working on my goals? How am I supposed to be happy if I have no money? And I’m certainly not going to be happy if I don’t have a six pack….

(….maybe I’ll be okay without the six pack. )

All of these are all important. Just not at the expense of my happiness.

Working on my coaching business and acting goals are a priority. They make me happy, especially when they bring in that thing called money. What I’m learning is that I can be happy working on these every day for a certain amount of time, without spending all of my time working too much without taking breaks or making time for social activities.

Then there’s health: I’ve reached a goal where I stopped giving into instant gratification and refuse to indulge in cheat meals unless it’s specifically a cheat day. While I’m proud of this goal, I’m learning that I let it contribute to more stress. I had learned how easy it was to stay home and skip shows and activities without the worry of food and sleep. The more I stayed home and skipped going out, the more unhappy I was getting.

These are all areas I’ll be more comfortable in a month from now. At which point, I’ll probably be able to talk about this topic even better (Not to mention write a better blog post….) Regardless, here’s my biggest takeaway so far: We should focus on how to go about our goals and priorities in a way that makes us happy. This might not always be the “right” way to go about it, or the way our friends and family tell us. While we don’t want to shun advice from others, it’s okay to stray from the path that’s often classified as “the way you should do it.”

I had been so focused on what motivational speakers have been telling me in interviews, youtube videos, and even social media posts, that I wasn’t focusing on how I felt. Well now….that’s just silly.

Don’t be silly. Just…be happy. 🙂 Go get’ em, friends.

Why Transition Periods Are Stupid

I got a new apartment.

I had a long list of reasons why I was excited to move in. I couldn’t wait to start experiencing all of them.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a real experience without hitting some roadblocks.

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Moving requires a transition period. You’re adjusting to a new living environment. This means a change in your daily routine, plus figuring out where the closest places are in your neighborhood to run errands. Granted, a quick google search will help. But then there are other factors you may not have considered.

Here were some of mine:

-Technical difficulties of every kind: Broken internet. Workout DVDs wouldn’t play on my laptop. Printer wouldn’t work. Cellphone was constantly freezing.

-Realizing all the things I needed to buy: Everything from trash barrels to a shower curtain. This would take time….and money. Speaking of which…

-Moving costs money. Renting a truck, putting gas in your friends’ car who was nice enough to let you borrow it, putting gas in the truck that you rented…it all adds up.

I very quickly hit a point where all I could see were negatives.

After going through my “Woe is me,” “All I can see are negatives,” “Did I seriously just break my coffee pot?” phase, I remembered some cool tricks I got from personal development.

Despite the transition, I really didn’t have a serious problem. I had finally got my own apartment. It’s exactly where I want to live for exactly the amount I want to be paying. I’m even closer to public transportation. My “problems” weren’t real life problems.

Even if I did have a problem, all of these things were temporary. I was going to get internet again. I’d be getting more paychecks soon. I could seriously go to Walgreens and buy a new coffee pot (which I did, begrudgingly). All of these were just a temporary inconveniences, and would eventually lead to an awesome 2015.

Hell, forget about the rest of the year. It’s only been a week.

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Internet is great. New printer is on the way. Solved my DVD issue. And finances? Working on it 🙂 But I did snag two phone interviews, attended two commercial auditions, plus got two unexpected paychecks.

Last week I thought I’d still be broke with no internet and no way to get my work done without going to Starbucks. I couldn’t see the other end of the tunnel.

Our struggles are temporary. Some last longer than others. But as long as you remain positive that you can and will get through them, you’ll be fine.

Of course, it helps when your Patriots win the Superbowl too.

Patriots

We were a little excited. Thanks for my 1522 friends for hosting! 

Stay positive. Keep going.

And, of course, GO PATS!