This is big. You have an opportunity to cross a goal off your list. It’s been sitting there a while. Just having this opportunity is awesome. You share the news with friends and family.
If you’ve ever found yourself in this situation, you know their responses vary. They tend to fall into one of two categories.
Category 1: “Really? You got this opportunity? This is awesome! I’m so happy for you! Even if this doesn’t work out, I know you’ll get there eventually. This is such a great thing! Let’s do shots….”
Note: If your big opportunity involves something you have to do the next day….maybe skip the shots. (If you don’t have something to do the next day…maybe skip the shots.)
Category 2: “Really? You got this opportunity? Won’t that affect your job? This will probably cost a lot of money. Even if this does happen there’s a lot of things you’ll have to work out…”
We’ll talk about why these responses from Category 2 happen in a bit. First let’s address something big: If we listen to too many doubters, we’re more likely to give up before we even get started.
Fear not, friends. You should know by now this is a Category 1 blog. I’ll give you three tips on putting your energy in the right areas so that this goal gets crushed.
Read and listen to personal development everyday.
You might not like hearing this, but if you want to accomplish something big, this is a non negotiable. While I won’t use this post for how to best develop this habit, I will say it doesn’t have to be hard. Start finding times you’d normally listen to music and instead put on a personal development book on audible or even YouTube.
Whatever we expose ourself to plays a role in our thoughts. If the majority of our time is spent with Category 2 people, we’re more likely to focus on the struggle over the reward. When we listen to positive audios and spend more time with Category 1 friends, the reward is so vivid that the struggle is worth it.
See doubters differently
There’s usually two reasons why doubters exist: One is because they care. Because they don’t make personal development a priority, they naturally are prone to seeing the struggle. They know the risks are there and they don’t want you getting hurt.
The other is that they envy your opportunity. They’d create opportunities themselves, but they’re trapped too far down in their own fears and doubts to even try. It’s much easier to pull you down with them. Besides, if you succeed, this implies to them that they’re not doing enough with their own goals – which is usually true.
See doubters differently. Thank the ones who are genuinely trying to help. They care about you. Feel sorry for those who are jealous. If they don’t have the confidence to work on themselves, chances are they aren’t very happy.
Focus on the next step.
When our goals sit on top of a high staircase, it’s easy to focus on how far the top is. (Category 2 friends love bringing this up.) Realize that you can’t get to the top if you never take the first step. And you won’t reach the fifth step without going up the next ones. Put blinders on and keep asking, “What’s next?” You know what’s at the top. There’s nothing wrong with visualizing the top. Just make sure it’s bringing you up and not stressing you out.
If you do catch yourself thinking in Category 2, ask yourself this: Would you rather a life saying “Oh well, at least I tried.” Or would you rather ask, “Where would I be if I had tried?” Often the long term pain of regret hurts more than the temporary blow of failure.
Go for failure. Who knows…you might just win.
Go get ‘em friends. You deserve it.