Why there’s nothing wrong with you (even though you think there is)

I recently had a class with Robyn Coffin.

Robyn is a Chicago actress best known for playing Cindy Herrmann on Chicago Fire. She’s a teacher at Vagabond School of the Arts and just an all around delightful human being.

And perhaps most important of all, she’s also had the honor of being the first ever guest on the Tony Rossi Show Podcast. (It’s like, a really big deal…)

 

Last week in class, Robyn shared a powerful lesson on how we all learn lines differently – some are auditory learners. Some are visual. And some need to be sitting in their favorite chair with a glass of wine, while visualizing the day that, they too, are an honored guest on the Tony Rossi show. (She’d didn’t flat out share this last point, but it was pretty obvious through the tone of her voice…..)

We also discussed how different things may be challenging to us due to our nature. For example, she shared how hard math was for her because she was a lefty!

What this really highlighted for me was how we’re all different and we each have different learning styles….

And yet – how often do we try to “fit in” by assuming that there’s a one size fit all approach??

“There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach” – Robyn Coffin. (Who said this in class and I wrote it down but she might have said it differently so don’t please don’t anyone sue me….)

I tried fitting in a lot in high school….and quickly realized it wasn’t working. I was a skinny male, loved musical theatre, never had a serious girlfriend, and didn’t look like any of the popular kids….so naturally I just put two and two together and realized I might be gay…..

…even though I was never attracted to men.

One of my favorite things about being involved as a member of the Chicago acting community is that I get to hear the perspective of my peers. They too have their struggles. They too feel like they’re “not enough” at times. They too wonder, “Is this acting thing ever gonna work out?”

Guys. We are enough. And we’re enough regardless of whether or not we’re “like” anyone else.

As Darren Hardy recently said on one of his darrendaily’s – if something is popular, there’s a good chance it’s not worth pursuing.

So relax and ENJOY that you’re different. It’s okay to have your own style. And realize that there’s others just like you who are going to love you for being your unique, awkward, and #notperfect self.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

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Hey! Did you check out the Tony Rossi Show podcast yet? 

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂You can also find me on facebook, instagram, YouTube, or check out my actor website. 

Oh – and I’m now on iTunes! #TonyRossiShow

Baseball is Not “Just Baseball”

I used to think I was going to be a Harry Potter when I grew up.

I was eleven. I was a skinny guy with glasses. It wasn’t too long before I heard an announcement that the Harry Potter series would be turned into a movies. Like, real life movies. I should also note I lacked confidence, was terrified of girls (especially if I had a crush on them), and was eager to fit in with the popular kids. (I know, I know – the story of every eleven year old.)  

I made the decision: I was going to be cast as Harry Potter.

….yeah. I had zero acting experience. I am not British. It didn’t happen. But I totally got paid to wear a green suit for a music video shoot one time…

This, my friends, is a very true story of what would eventually lead me to join drama club, continue acting through high school, pursue a BA in theatre, and move to Chicago to be a real life actor. That said, I don’t need to be Harry Potter. And today I much prefer plays over movies.

Reader note: If your name is Steven Spielberg, please stop reading and email tony.rossi@gmail.com. I’d be open to discussing “awkward guy who laughs too loud” in your upcoming film, despite my theatrical preferences….

Things change as we get older. Passions, goals, hobbies tend to shift. But those one or two passions that stick with us? Those are special. 

Before I wanted to be Harry Potter, I wanted to be a baseball player. I don’t anymore. (Sorry, Theo.) But I guess you can say I still like baseball.

Another cool thing about Chicago – people here kind of like baseball. (Try watching this without crying. I dare you.)

What makes this special isn’t just the fact that a baseball team won. Yes, the championship was special. But the really special part of this video is watching the deep level of human connection.

That, my friends, is pretty effing beautiful.

This is much, much more than just a game.

I’ve always lived in either Chicago or New England. Know what that means for April? IT’S WEIRD. The weather can’t make up its mind 🙂 But there’s one thing that always makes me happy – baseball is back. There’s magic in the air again.

Finding those things we’re passionate about makes life a whole lot more fun. Don’t downplay those passions, friends. You’re robbing others of your joy. 

Also, this.

The marquee outside Murphy’s Bleachers always makes me smile. 

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

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Tony is a theatre and film actor living in Chicago, just up the street from Wrigley Field He loves helping others to become the happiest version of themselves so that they can live more fun, fulfilled lives on their own terms.

He also loves to blog on how to do this. 

Contact him for a free one-on-one to see if he can help you with your own mindset and happiness in life, or to inquire if he can do some writing for you!  You can reach him at tony.rossi@gmail.com

PS – Rumor has it that he loves when you hit that “share” button for friends and family to see  

How We Can Relate to “Perfect,” Successful People

Ever tried to relate to someone successful?

No, no, sorry. I mean someone really successful?

Anyone else excited for baseball season? (Picture from facebook.com/davidortiz)

There we go.

I love reading books by inspiring authors and listening to powerful speakers. Yet I’ve been guilty of just “hearing” their messages in the past without fully digesting their message. Kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

I find there’s a couple reasons why we can’t relate to some of those incredible, ridiculously successful people:

They seem perfect. Their level of success is more than “I quit my day job.” They did quit their day job. Then made six plus figures at their dream job, plus have a drink waiting for them upon entering Starbucks. Sometimes it’s hard to relate when we’re still waiting tables, plus get our names spelt wrong on our coffee cup.

They seem condescending. Take Eric Thomas, for example. He doesn’t just share his message. He shouts it. And he’s not afraid to call you out on your poor habits. When we hear a lot of messages like these, we sometimes take it personally. Kind of hard to listen to a message when we’re busy being offended.

Here’s the thing: Whether it’s in a classroom, at a presentation, or in our apartment as we’re reading, there’s a powerful message being delivered to our ears. Yet when we think about those themes I just mentioned, we’re really replying with “You’re too perfect for me to relate to” or “You’re being mean, so I don’t want to listen.” Kind of a negative response, isn’t it? But let’s not kick ourselves for our thoughts. That would be silly. Instead, let’s refocus them.

Think about this instead:

They’re trying to help. They didn’t just roll out of bed thinking, “Maybe I’ll go onstage today and tell people how to be better.” They’ve dedicated their lives towards helping others. They don’t just want to help – they need to!

They’re genuinely concerned for us. Many of the best speakers and authors went through some kind of struggle – usually a big one. The “harshness” of their tone or message isn’t because they’re mad that we’ve slacked or neglected our goals. Rather, it’s because they don’t want us to go through what they went through.

They’re like, really excited. Again, they do what they do for a living is because they need to. Yes, it’s also what they love. Combine the two and you’ll get a very excited person who can’t wait to share their message.

“But Tony, what if I really don’t relate to this successful person?”

The cool thing is that there are a lot of speakers and authors out there. It’s all about finding which one best relates to you in terms of style and personality. What also helps is learning about their past and upbringing. While I didn’t always love Eric Thomas, I become much more attached to his work after learning about his story.

As you learn from other successful and inspiring people, remember that they’re trying to help. Start looking for which ones have a style or story that relates to your own.

And then….start your own journey. Maybe you’ll be able to inspire others in your own way 🙂