The biggest thing hold you back from success

As an actor and coach, I often have the lovely pleasure of watching others experience more success than I. In the past, I’ve resorted to the “Guess it’s meant to be for them and not me” mentality. Ever done that yourself?

As someone who helps others become the best and happiest version of themselves, I often hear thoughts holding people back – thoughts that simply aren’t true. How do I know this? Because I go through them myself quite often. It’s been the biggest reason why I make reading books, listening to audios, and working with coaches (such as Courtney Rioux) a non negotiable.

I’ve learned that many of us like to make up reasons in our head why things are the way they are and why we’re not where we want to be. It breaks my heart when I see my friends or others I talk to do the same thing. It’s why I write blogs, host periscopes, and make Sunday videos on facebook each week.

I can’t tell you why we make up these reasons in our head based on limited information. Perhaps someday I’ll know more about the subject. What I do know is, having learned this the hard way, that often the biggest thing holding us back is ourselves.

That, my friends, is the truth.

It’s not that you’re not talented. It’s not that you’re not deserving. It’s not that your friends advancing in your field ahead of you are better than you are. I might not know you personally. But if you found this post, I want you to know that you are just as capable and worthy as that person ahead of you. You just need to believe it yourself.

Start making that the story you tell yourself every day and every night, my friends.

At the same time, let’s get rid of the notion that a particular strategy “isn’t for you” before you’ve actually tried it – and I mean really tried it. What really pains me to see is someone working on a goal, continuing to fall short, but refusing to try a different method. If it helps, reframe your mindset. “I’m going to try failing at this for a while by doing (insert new strategy here).” It will take the pressure of having to feel good about this new approach. And let’s be honest – most of us don’t like change. So the beginning is going to feel weird. That’s okay.

Are your thoughts and limiting beliefs be holding you back? I’d love to chat with you one on one and see if I can help. Most of the coaching I do with others is free. If I can’t provide you with a solution, I also have resources and friends who might be able to help better than I.

So here’s my question to you: Are you ready to stop holding yourself back and start being happier?

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I’m not always happy. But when I am….I’m probably taking a selfie. 

It’s go time.

Let’s go get ‘em, friends.

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Positivity with Pet Peeves?

It’s hard to stay positive when you have your pet peeves.

A lot of people who read my blogs or watch my live videos assume that I don’t have any pet peeves of my own. Rest assured – I’m very #notperfect and have my bad moments.

This week, for example…

 I went to Starbucks to do some work. Without my laptop charger.

I value my time. Friends will tell you (and probably tease me for this) that if I schedule a call with you at 2pm, I will call at 2pm on the dot. You can imagine my reaction when I started setting up at Starbucks, only to realize I didn’t have my charger with me. I could easily run home and grab it. But that’s wasted time!

On the (very short) walk back to my apartment, I realized that I was actually stressed before even getting there. Of course the stress escalated once I realized I had wasted time. But the morning had gotten off schedule already, and I wasn’t in a good place mentally. Having to go back and take an extra walk actually allowed me to reframe my focus by the time I had all my things and was ready to work.

My laptop overheated and shut off. While I was in the middle of a webinar.

Again – I value my time. When I schedule things specifically around a webinar, I’m looking forward to watching it. When this happened (just yesterday), I was livid. I’m sure my neighbors are wondering why I’m always cursing….

Fortunately there was a replay link. However, by the time I had finished I was way behind schedule for the day. There was no time for Starbucks, lots of work to be done, plus I had errands to run before an audition. I decided to stay home – much to my dismay. I’ve been working on getting out of the apartment more (hence the Starbucks visits) and was concerned my work session would be ineffective.

Since I was staying home, I decided to try a tip I picked up from the webinar: Setting up a work space that’s just for work. With my studio apartment, space is pretty limited. Fortunately, I recently received a folding table for some of the brand ambassador work I do. I decided to take advantage and set it up. Maybe see if I felt any different as I got to work.

It. Was. Great. And I don’t know if I would have discovered this as quickly had it not been for my laptop shutting off.

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Give me a few more days, friends. I’m sure it will get even more messy. 

So what’s the message here? Both examples are things that I literally can’t stand: 1) Forgetting things and 2) when my laptop interrupts my work. Yet in both cases, something good came from it. I’ll be the first to admit the last thing I want to do is “look for the positives” when it comes to my pet peeves. Yet I discovered both of these positives that might not have happened if things went according to plan.

I hope these examples can help you with some of your own pet peeves, my friends.

Have an awesome week. Let’s go get ‘em.

Strugging? Have a setback? So were these 5 MLB All Stars…

Whether you’re a fan of baseball or looking to become an All Star in your own field, this one is for you.

Being a die hard fan myself, I often think about how wonderful it must be to be an athlete. Sure, there’s a hectic travel schedule and you’re under a big media spotlight. But how cool is it that you get to work every day doing what you love?

Last month I watched the 2016 All Star Game played in San Diego. (From my studio apartment. In Chicago.) I couldn’t help but notice there were a few athletes playing who weren’t exactly living an all star life in their recent past.

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Jackie Bradley, Jr: This season he’s been on fire for the Red Sox. The guy is a becoming a fan favorite in the Boston area after his impressive 29 game hit streak. I’m sure many fans aren’t thinking about how only a year ago he was struggling at the plate and endured multiple visits down to the Paw Sox – a Red Sox AAA team. I even doubted whether or not he’d be in Boston in 2016.

Will Meyers: This man got a standing-O practically every time he was featured in the All Star game. He was representing the Padres in their own ball park, much to the delight of the fans. Speaking of fans, anyone remember the time he got heckled relentlessly by Red Sox fans during the 2013 playoffs after a fielding blunder?

Wilson Ramos: This year the 29 year old represented the Washington Nationals for the National League. However, he endured a devastating struggle five years ago: Just after his rookie season, Ramos was kidnapped from his home in a hostage situation in Venezuela. Many were more concerned about his life – not the fact that he might never play baseball again.

Steven Wright: The knuckleballer for the Red Sox humbly accepted his first All Star nomination this year. After listening to him in a post game interview, fans got a chance to hear how he nearly quit baseball five years ago. Had it not been for the support of his wife, he probably would have. (Men, take note.)

[Source: The wonderful journal of Tony Rossi….but notes were from post game show on WEEI ;)]

David Ortiz: What’s not to love about David Ortiz? We’d be here all day if we were listing his accomplishments for the Boston Red Sox. All loyal Sox fans are familiar with his triumphs. But what about his struggles? Having just listened to a podcast, it was revealed that he broke down in tears after being released from the Minnesota Twins. He wasn’t sure he’d play baseball ever again.

[Source: Boston Red Sox Podcast – “A History’s Perspective.” Guest: Adrian Burgos]

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I miss the guy already. Caught him at Fenway earlier this season! 

Anytime there’s an abundance of evidence showing failure and setbacks, I tend to focus on more of them. I often see them in my acting career as well as my journey as a fitness and mindset coach. What I can’t see in those moments? The future. When we can’t picture an awesome future, it’s hard to get through the struggle

I love these stories. They share how a #notperfect chapter doesn’t dictate our final conclusion.

Go after that conclusion. The struggle isn’t all there is.

Go get ’em.

I’m Baaaaack!…and still #notperfect

 

So I took a month off of writing to refresh. I wanted new energy and a better system to updating once or twice a week.  I wanted to better share how we can all be our happiest and best versions of ourselves. Naturally, I thought, this would be a KILLER post that would be the spark that both myself and my friends needed for this page.

…..it wasn’t. A few confessions:

-I am writing this post at 8:31pm on Wednesday night. I always schedule them the night before they post at Thursday morning. (In other words, this post is still being written last minute).

-I spent last month working on some different goals. Truth be told, any thinking about my blog was more of an “Oh yeah, I need to get to that….”

-My first draft of this “I’m baaaack!” post was far different. I wrote it quick and wanted to get it out of the way. Fortunately for us all…..my computer froze and it never saved. (So please save your work….and don’t use a laptop that freezes a lot!)

I realize this doesn’t exactly show me in a flattering light. It’s not going to get me 1,000 followers. It’s not going to be the post that shows how I’m the best person to hold you accountable and help you reach your health goals. And it’s definitely not going to land me on stage at Steppenwolf.

When I was at Coach Summit in Nashville last weekend, Chalene Johnson shared with us that people can’t relate to your “after” photo if they don’t relate to your “before.” I couldn’t agree more. Before and After weight loss photos don’t do anything for me because it shows a transformation that I can’t relate to. I’ve never had a before and after photo that brings me joy and I have never had the abs that those people have. But when I hear from them in person about how hard the journey was and how many times they failed? Oh, I can relate to that….besides, I’ve failed plenty of times!

I use the hashtag #notperfect a lot because honestly, that’s me: Someone who messes up a lot. But here’s the best part: It’s okay to mess up.

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A quote from the wonderful Dallas Travers

I’ll admit I spent a lot of last month kicking myself for my “failures.” I’m probably going to catch myself doing that again. But you know what? I can be flawed and still move forward.

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Having other like minded people around you doesn’t hurt either. Photo stolen lovingly from Nadia Torres! (She’s in the white) 

Be #notperfect with me, friends.

Let’s go get ‘em.