The myth about money

Let’s role play for a minute, shall we? 

So you just got a job. A good one. Like, really good. Hell, this job is SO good that you have a killer salary for a killer company. And best of all? It’s well known! Your company is frequently in the news and YOU, my friend, are often in the spotlight. You get kudos from high school friends you haven’t heard from in years. Hell, they don’t understand the hard work you do day after day, but who cares? You’re living the dream! 

Oh, but here’s the catch – because this company is frequently in the news, your job performance shows up in the headlines. Like, a lot. I know, it’s not fair because the rest of your friends with jobs don’t get news stories written about them on both good and bad days. But hey – this is part of the job, right? 

So you have a bad day. That makes the head lines. All of a sudden you’re under fire. It doesn’t matter the fact that you had one of those nights you couldn’t sleep the night before. And no one really gives a shit that you went through a break up. All they see is that you didn’t do your best. And boyyy are they letting you hear about it! 

Also – don’t bother trying to defend yourself via social media. This just opens you up to criticism. Yup. Criticism from people who will never relate to you because all they see are the headlines. They don’t see the lifestyle that surrounds it. 

Of course, this is YOU we’re talking about. And this is just a pretend fantasy, yeah? So why don’t we go ahead and both cut you some slack. We KNOW you’re a good person. You’re just a good person who is human. You make mistakes, but we know you’ll bounce back. 

…..did ya get all that? 

Good. So now let’s cut these guys some slack:

–Your favorite baseball team that got eliminated from the playoffs 

-The well known athlete on your favorite team who keeps getting injured and “isn’t worth that salary.” 

-The goalie who got pulled in the 2nd period because he gave up five goals. 

-The athlete who made a butt load of money after being traded to your city but has yet to produce anything. 

 

Because let’s be honest: You and I aren’t living their life style. You and I haven’t lived a day in their shoes. You and I are different than they are. You and I have different joys and sorrows in life that trigger us in different ways.

And please, don’t buy into the myth that making an obnoxious salary means you’re allowed to be criticized. It’s bullshit and it’s hurting you to believe it.

Let’s be kind and send love to those we really want to be succeeding in the first place

Let’s go get ’em, friends.

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Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

What happens when a positive person gets dumped

Disclaimer:  Break ups suck, don’t they? Fortunately this one was amicable and there’s not hard feelings. That said, be sure to give us both hugs if you see either of us!

 

What happened: I got dumped 

What I wanted to do: Cry. Drink. Eat some foods with lots of salt and fat. Take my mind off it. 

What I did do: Cry. Went for a long walk. Got on the train. Went home. Ate my favorite (healthy) snack. 

What I didn’t do: Drink. Eat foods with lots of salt and fat.

Why: Because I didn’t want to wake up the next day disempowered 

I wanted to wake up the next day feeling like Tony. 

I wanted to wake up feeling like I could take on the world – unless I didn’t feel like it. But if I didn’t feel like it, I wanted it to be my choice. Because I could choose to just do something else on my terms. What I wasn’t going to allow was myself to purposely take action to put myself in a state where I was prone to more negative and shitty feelings than I already was feeling. 

I feel my best when I look good. I feel my best when I sleep well, hydrate, and work out with weights. (Yup – skinny guys like resistance too!) I feel my best when I have a clean(ish) apartment and appreciate the layout of my posters. 

So I went home. Ate my favorite snack. Lied down for a bit watching and reading mind numbing stuff on Facebook and youtube…and even the news. (I never do this.) Then proceeded to put on a podcast and clean a bunch. And refigure my posters, pictures etc. 

It looked damn good. 

I remember thinking, “I don’t know how I’ll feel tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll get as much done as I usually do when I sit down at Starbucks and get my tall dark roast from Chloe at my favorite location outside Wrigley field. All I know is that I won’t know if I don’t try. “

We’re allowed to feel our feelings. But we don’t have to be a victim to feeling more than what’s already present. Purposely choose to put yourself in a winning position so that you can win. 

It’ll make those nights with foods containing lots of salt and fat more worth it later. 

Let’s go get ‘em. 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

Why I used to hate the phrase, “You’re so young…”

Let’s cut to the chase: This phrase isn’t about age itself.

I used to think it was about something this thing that was out of my control. To an extent, I still think it is. But I also think it’s about not yet understanding things you literally can’t comprehend. (Yet.)

As a 29 year old, I would be lying if I said I had never thought the following phrases: 

-YES! I CAN DO ANYTHING! I SHALL TAKE ON THE WORLD?! 

-You did what? Well. That’s silly. I’m going to do it better by the time I’m your age. (Duh.) 

-You’re just old and bitter. I’m not going to be like that…

I recently found myself socializing with some peers who were a lot younger than me. I found myself thinking, “Wow. They don’t understand things the way I do.” And then started to realize that I don’t understand what my peers older than me do.

I don’t believe it behooves any of us to condescend our younger peers. But I also think there’s some truth to keeping our mouth shut and listening to those who are older than us. They have information and experience that we couldn’t possibly comprehend yet. Oh we will, don’t worry…we’ll do something to screw up, I’m sure….But what IF we could start to comprehend the basics of those concepts before ten years earlier? Wouldn’t you want a taste of that? 

I’m getting hungry just thinking about it.

 

Let’s listen to those “old” folk. And gently remind them – they’re not old. They’re wise. There’s a big difference. An awesome difference. 

 

I’m not saying I wasn’t smart and wise seventeen years ago…..points if you can find me (hint: I had glasses) 

 

Let’s all go get ‘em. Regardless of age.

 

***   ***   ***

Thanks for reading!

By the way, I’m Tony. I live in Chicago. (Duh.) I’m an actor and blogger living right up the street from Wrigley Field. 

My blog is here to help others take control and live a more authentically positive life on their terms. Since working with a coach and learning more about personal development, I’ve started sharing my learnings with others. (I have a lot…)

If we’ve never meet – shoot me a tweet!  Would love to hear how you found this 🙂 

Wanna see more? Check out my actor website or YouTube channel!

Wanna make sure you never miss a post? Click the “Follow” button in the right corner to enter your email and subscribe! 

 

How to Better Your Negative Situation

So I wrote this post two years ago. It really resonates with me this week. …

This is for anyone in a dark situation. We’ll call it a tunnel.

When we’re in the tunnel, we can’t always see the other side. This happens when we’re looking for work, short on money, or in an unpleasant living environment. As more and more negatives start to pile on, we tend do a couple of things:

We focus on more negatives: It’s the easy and comfortable thing to do. Yet it tends to make our situation worse, not better.

We seek out instant gratification: While having a short break is sometimes necessary, it’s important we don’t stay there too long. Many of us go on this break, then stay there. This is nothing more than just an extended vacation in our dark tunnel. Unless we start making an effort to get out, we’re just setting ourselves up to be unhappy in the long run.

So how do we get out?

After you’ve taken your (short) break to ease your mind, here are a few steps I recommend:

1) Accept responsibility for your circumstances

The easy thing to do is to play the victim mentality and blame someone or something other than ourselves. Regardless of any crazy and unexpected circumstances that may have occurred, it’s important to realize that you are the reason for where you are today. Accept responsibility for what’s happened. Don’t kick yourself. Just stop making excuses and blaming others. Once you own up to your situation, you’ll realize you have the power to change things and get yourself back on track.

2) Make an action plan

This is going to vary based on what’s going on. Keep in mind you might be digging yourself out of a deep hole. This could take time. Don’t worry about making it perfect. If you do, you’ll just keep putting it off. Just start. You can try starting from the finish line and then working backwards if that helps. Just make sure it gives you some specific steps to get to your final destination.

If necessary, ask a friend for help. Or hire someone . Whatever you do, do not blame them if they are unresponsive or unavailable. Doing this releases our power to control our circumstances. The goal is to get out. The more we blame, the longer we’re stuck in the tunnel.

3) Stay consistent

It’s easy to belittle those tiny steps starting out, such as making an action plan. “What difference does it make? I’ll still be in my same situation tomorrow.” Making the plan actually puts you further ahead than you think. It ignites a flame of hope. Hope is a very powerful tool. It’s contagious and will reveal both confidence and answers – which are hard to see when it’s dark out.

This only works if you’re consistent. If you’re not, you won’t see any progress. Then you’ll really get frustrated and want to quit. Which keeps us in the tunnel. We don’t want that.

As you go about this, keep finding ways for to keep yourself motivated and sane. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into that extended vacation in instant gratification land. You need to be prepped and ready to go as soon as the break is over.

If you’re in that tunnel now, get up off the couch.  Make that plan right. Then….relax. You’ve just taken your first step. You can sleep tonight knowing that you took a moved forward towards the other end of the tunnel.

Best part: Doing this helps the tunnel seem a little bit brighter.

Go get ’em.